Hi. I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now. It'll be a year on April 12th. I really really love her. I can't imagine life without her, but....I feel so inadequate for her. I feel like she deserves better and that she could find someone a lot better. She deserves someone that will be able to support her and get her whatever she wants, when she wants. I feel she deserves someone thats actually good at things, talented at things. Someone that is really smart. Someone that can make her happy in the long run. I feel like I have none of those attributes. I've told myself so many times that I'm not good enough and that I won't ever be good enough, unless I get a good job that pays well, so I can make her happy. She came back from a school trip to Europe yesterday and I talked to her on the phone today. I felt so stupid because I didn't know what to say. She said to say something funny and I just stood there like a complete idiot and didn't say anything. That made me feel less adequate. Time and time again I've proved to myself that I'm not good enough for her. I really think I should let her go, so that she can find someone better. I really don't care about my own happiness, because I'm used to not being happy. All I really care about is her happiness. I just don't know what to do....

svatnsdal

It's hard to say much not knowing your age.
You feel that way about yourself, but she doesn't feel that way about you! If she did, she would have broken it off. I think she sees in you what you don't, all the great wonderful things.
No one is perfect, we all have our good things and our bad things. When someone stays with us knowing us, they love us and are fine with our good and bad.
Don't break up with her because you don't like yourself. If she is causing you to become severely depressed, then I would say to break it off, but tell her why.
Not every woman wants a man who has the biggest or highest paying job! Not every woman wants that... perfect man. There is no perfect man.
If you've told her you love her, and she said she loves you, don't walk away.

Homegirl 50

I don't think you can be good for anyone no matter how good of a job you have or how smart you are if you have such low feelings about yourself.
She could really love you and think you're wonderful, but if you have such a low opinion of yourself, you will put a cramp in the relationship.
You are probably better than you think you are, but you may want to try some counseling to get a better idea of where these feelings of inadequacy are coming from and deal with them.

talaniman

Help yourself by seeing your family doctor, and let him take a few test and then see what he says. I think that would be a very good start. It may be just something thats easy to treat, and he would be the one to know best what to do about what he finds.

Scleros

* rolls eyes *
* takes off gloves *

WOW! You've really got the brooding selfless loser schtick down pat, but I'm betting your girlfriend would not be happy if you broke up with her, which would then be the wrong outcome for your stated goal above, and you'd then have to self-destruct of course. Messy.

Instead, why not find her a REAL man and introduce her to him. He'll take it from there; you won't have to lift a finger...

No? Not going to do that either?

Ok, how about you stop looking for reasons to screw up a rare good thing, thank your lucky stars she wants you, you TOTALLY stop being a wuss, work alone or with a counselor on your self-esteem issues and conversation skills, and become the man you think she deserves. Radical!

I know, it's a terrible solution, you don't get to sit on your butt your whole life and not grow the f*** up.

P.S. Trimming her pedestal wouldn't hurt either.

xiaocake

When a man loves a woman, he will say,"I am not a best person, but I can treat you best than others do." It is enough for a woman.
Do you know you are a modest person?
Good luck:>

ampersandra

Well, they always say knowing your problems is your first step. As svatnsdal said, your girlfriend CHOSE to be with you because of who you are. She obviously thinks you're great or else she wouldn't even consider being your girlfriend to begin with.

As for what you can do, why not try to improve yourself? What are the things that you need working on? One of the things you've mentioned is your career. What is a "good job" in your mind? Have you done anything to start finding that job yet? Learn a few jokes, pull a few pranks on your friends. You'll have lots of funny stories to tell your girlfriend if you just enjoy life and notice all the quirky and amusing bits that go with it. Pick up a new hobby, study something completely new if you can.

Allheart

Hi Sad -

First, right off the bat, just by your very words and concern for others, It is apparent to me, that you are a good, kind and caring person. Man, how I wish we all could have those attributes.

Here's the thing Sad, no matter who you would be with, you would feel the same exact way.

I would strongly recommend seeing someone who can help you with your self-esteem issues. Meaning a professional.

There is so much happiness, right in your reach, but because how you feel inside about yourself, that happiness will be such a struggle for you to obtain.

If you can not afford a professional, there are some self help books that you may want to purchase and read about self-esteem.

You first have to admit to yourself, that you need to work on some of the things that are causing you to feel so badly about yourself.

I can just tell that you are a very good person, you have to start beleiving in that as well.

I am hoping for the very best for you.