Met a nice guy(this is a new one after the first one I met post my break-up 9 months back.Many of you were right about that one,I just wanst attracted to him and so it just fizzled off.So that chapter's closed).So,went out with this guy twice and had fun.Just chilled and spoke.He kept texting and calling while I decided to keep it very light(all my learning here has taught me to be very relaxed and cautious during the initial stages of the dating period,just get to know each other,have fun,check out compatibility etc etc).

So we spoke and interacted.And everytime we liked what we were finding out about each other.And wanted to know more.Two days back he called again and we were chatting when suddenly he had to go cos of another call from work.After that till today,I just received one text message.Just a casual hi.To which I didnt think of responding(I have started opearting on the 48 hr deadline action plan which means that if I feel something's just not right within 48 hrs of having a nice time with a guy,I will just pass him up and move on.No more spending time wondering why he didnt call/text,whats playing on his mind etc etc).

But then 3 hrs later when I felt "what the heck,its just a hi",I sent him back a text a while ago.

To which no answer till now.Should I stop dwelling on any possibility here?What if he tries to reach out again?

Whats with these short and sweet encounters that people have?I mean,I still dont get the logic behind sudden disappearances and withdrawals,without any reason,after a nice time together.Any ideas anybody?

emopunk7

I don't want to kill your happiness. I am very happy for you! I hope everything keeps getting better. First when he didn't call, you were here (which is better than bothering him), but it still shows you haven't totally stopped being dependant on something and that you don't feel all that happy without a certain something. Now he did call and text and you are the happiest ever. I'm just scared you can be let down fast and go through hard times again. I hope you see what I'm saying. Just don't depend on his calls or texts or him to make you happy. You are perfect alone.

Stringer

Agreed, no one can ever make you happy (period). Being happy is your responsibility alone. Your choice to be happy or not.

Others can make you happier than you are...yes. But actually being 'happy' is left to you alone. It IS an intrinsic emotion.

Stringer

Starry nights

I totally agree and thats why my posts.Its like I am monitoring myself on what progress I have made,on the "being happy by myself" front.Thats why when he wasnt calling and I started reacting,I decided I wasnt going to go through the whole emotional roller-coaster and "wonder what happned" games anymore.

SO I backed off and let go.Not even thinking twice about the whole affair.

Thats why when he started calling and showing interest,it was like a whole new revelation to me.I realised that without making a single move and acting on any impulse,he himself wanted to take the initiative in starting something.If you notice my posts,the only thing I am so upbeat about is the fact that if he's at all interested in me,its cos I didnt bother doing anything at all.Just kept living my life happily.So,the fact that he's interested goes to show that this interest is just based on what he's seen/heard of me and no extra effort on my part.

Thats a big first step guys,dont you think,the realisation that I can be and am happy with my life and am not desperate to go after someone(though I was doing that initially).Its an eye-opener for a girl who always used to look for validation of her qualities and personality in the eyes of a man.

I will not go back that road any more.Ever.For this guy,for any guy,for anybody.I think this is the beginning of a new journey for me,one where I really learn to enjoy my own life,just the way it is.

Stringer

Old expression:

"Run away until you 'let' him catch you."

Stringer

Starry nights

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stringer Old expression: "Run away until you 'let' him catch you." Stringer

And feel free while I do that--free to live my life,free to choose,free to let go,basically feel empowered and confident about myself

Feels lot more fun and less stressful dating a guy while being who I want to be and not who he wants me to be