I just split up with my boyfriend and I have been in touch with a lad from school who I always had a soft spot for but we were good friends. He always used to ask me about sex and stuff at school and he said its because he wanted me. That wa 4 years ago.



We have just been talking and he was someone who didn't no my ex so it was nice to talk. I'm not ready for a relationship and won't for a long time and he isn't but we have started talking about meeting up for no strings sex just between the 2 of us. Do you think it is wrong?

You speak of your "soft spot" for him, and he has remembered you and enjoys talking with you. I see complications.

Even "no strings sex" is a relationship, especially if it's done more than once.

I think there will be emotional investment, whether you intend that to happen or not. Humans are not created to be able to have sex and walk away. Studies have confirmed that.* The sex act itself is one of physical intimacy, with all five senses involved in the enjoyment of the most private parts of another's body.

I do not believe there is such a thing as "no strings sex." There will be a string.

*P.S. Women especially aren't built for "no strings sex". The minute he unbuttons your blouse and touches your bare breast, your emotions will begin to hum.

W/E Rocks your boat :)

If emotions start flying about, then the sh*t hits the fan. So careful!

If you are good friends and have had a "soft spot for him", then you may become attached emotionally. I noticed you said you aren't ready for a relationship yet. Be careful about sex when you are on the rebound. You still need to sort out your feelings about your ex, and if your emotions are a little strong right now, you are likely to get attached. As to whether casual sex is wrong, I guess that depends on your religious and/or moral beliefs. If it were me, I wouldn't have sex with him. You may think it is what you want right now, but after a little time goes by you may really regret it. Also, does he know you just broke up with someone? I'm not saying he is a bad guy, I don't know him, but maybe he thinks you are an easy target for sex because you are going through a hard time right now. You said you really enjoy your conversations with him. Do you meet with him for conversation/friendship or because of his hot body? :) I mean, if it's just an instinctive attraction thing, that's different from you really looking forward to talking to him as a friend. Was casual sex his idea or yours? If he was making sexual comments to you back in school, it sounds like he has one thing on his mind when it comes to you. Ask yourself this, if you slept with him today, and you saw him kissing another girl tomorrow, how would you feel? Happy, sad, or would you really not care? If you think you might feel just the smallest bit jealous, sad, or hurt, then casual sex with him isn't the right thing for you. Take some time to think it over. It is 100% normal to miss the intimacy you had with your boyfriend. Sex wouldn't be the same with this guy. It would be just a physical thing, not about love. As time goes by, your emotions will heal from the breakup and you will be ready for a new relationship. No one can judge your decision about this, but as someone who has been there, done that, (and my heart was broken-I totally fell for him and he didn't care) I would advise you to wait a month or so. See how you feel then. Hope this helps!

Like Jiser said, if you and he can both handle it, sweet. Sex is sex. But usually friends with benefits leads to one of the parties getting hurt. Usually friends with benefits is just a disguise.

But hey, if you can handle it and not get overwhelmed by any bad repurcussions, go for it. But be very careful.

--Cali