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my boyfriend got busted trying to hang out with a girl. i asked why, he said it was because she was "different." I kept asking "how different?" tooth and nail, it finally came out "because she was bigger than me. ok, my dude's into thick girls. fine.
but then, i ran into her. she is a lot smaller than me and curvy. i was more athletic with big boobs. i confronted him. he said he liked her because she is thinner than me?!?!?
first i'm too skinny, then i'm too fat?!?! he begs me to stay with him and now i'm totally paranoid and insecure. it's been about a year and before i was average- now i am fat! i think it's because i'm depressed. now, he doesn't want to have sex with me because i really am fat. he swares he loves me and will not let me break up with him, he won't look for another place, i beg him that our relationship is toxic adn if he really loved me he would move on so i could take care of myself and find someone who loved me for me.
he says i am the perfect girl and he loves me and wants to be with me forever- but we haven't had sex for a year and he has hinted at having sex with me if i lose weight. how sick is that?!?!
i keep gaining weight and i know it has to do with this relationship.
if i lose weight and get back to my normal self- i know i wouldn't want to have sex with him just to spite him.
i'm right,right? he's messed up adn i'm screwy for even being around him?
there are other qualities that are sooo right about him- but these actions are fundamental on his character right?
if he doesnt want to be with you cause your a little bigger than before than hes a ...if he really loves you than what you look like would not matter.."you dont love someone cause their beautiful...their beautiful cause you love them" if hes not physically attracted to you than find someone who is cause you might be wasting your time with him when there is someone out there who would love everything about you
Omg he is a jerk!
I think that, you need to stop letting him talk you into staying with him and be done with him. You don't seem happy at all. Don't lose weight, I bet you look gorgeous just the way you are. And sex can wait. I think you should end it before it gets out of hand. You could be going through some serious depression or even anorexia if he keeps talking to you like this. I hope I helped.
Hi there! I think if you reread your post, you will know what to do.
"he swares he loves me and will not let me break up with him"
He does not have a monopoly on decision making. You can choose to break up with him.
"he won't look for another place"
Does he pay half the rent, utilities, food, etc.? Has he signed a lease with you? Is this your place? If so, pack his bags, set them outside on the front steps, phone him, let him know they are waiting to be picked up. (Just being a decent person, make arrangements so you will know his things are safe but tell him they have to be picked up by a certain time). If they have not been picked up by that time, don't worry if they are stolen.
"but we haven't had sex for a year and he has hinted at having sex with me if i lose weight"
I am a proponent for sex within the confines of marriage.
Bottom line..........I don't see that you have a relationship with this guy nor should you. I agree with you that he is toxic to you. If you continue, your self-respect, self-image, ambition, and health in general will deteriorate until you will find it difficult to get through the day. You deserve better.
Every End Is A New Beginning! Begin again, eat healthy, be all you can be, regain your self-respect, take control of your own destiny.....make decisions that will help you accomplish your goals, and in the process, your inner beauty will surface and in so doing, your outer beauty will be enhanced even more than you ever knew. A person who is self-confident, has a self-love and self-respect, can walk into any room and command that room. Beauty is who you are as a person. You need to reintroduce yourself to that person!!! I think you will find you have missed her much more than you will miss this guy! You will look back and wonder why you stayed in this situation so long.
You are not alone in your struggles. People try to control people all the time. Sometimes, it comes so slowly you don't even realize it until you just cannot function on your own. You are the only one that can make a decision to break away and move forward. For your happiness and health, I pray that you will. Best to you!
...he said that she was "fatter" because he didn't want to get in trouble.
then he got in trouble.
then the truth came out.
he's not LETTING you break up with him? d-bag's lucky you're not throwing his crap all over the street. dump him. ignore calls. he suggested you'd have more sex if you were skinnier...that's...not good.
May I make one more suggestion?! Please change your name from "Pathetic", to--- "Purposeful", "Pretty", "Pleasure",...anything but "Pathetic"!! You are NOT pathetic, so don't identify yourself in that way! That is what HE is doing to you! DON'T LET HIM DO THAT! I think you gave yourself that name on here because that is how he makes you feel all of the time. You don't want to feel that way for the rest of your life do you? Show the guy the curb and don't worry if there's too much traffic!!
Why are you letting him do this to you?? Don't blame him for being an a$$, blame yourself for putting up with the bad behavior, and do something about it. Love yourself enough to know, you deserve better. Fat, skinny, or cockeyed, cheating is a no-no.
my boyfriend got busted trying to hang out with a girl. i asked why, he said it was because she was "different." I kept asking "how different?" tooth and nail, it finally came out "because she was bigger than me. ok, my dude's into thick girls. fine.
but then, i ran into her. she is a lot smaller than me and curvy. i was more athletic with big boobs. i confronted him. he said he liked her because she is thinner than me?!?!?
first i'm too skinny, then i'm too fat?!?! he begs me to stay with him and now i'm totally paranoid and insecure. it's been about a year and before i was average- now i am fat! i think it's because i'm depressed. now, he doesn't want to have sex with me because i really am fat. he swares he loves me and will not let me break up with him, he won't look for another place, i beg him that our relationship is toxic adn if he really loved me he would move on so i could take care of myself and find someone who loved me for me.
he says i am the perfect girl and he loves me and wants to be with me forever- but we haven't had sex for a year and he has hinted at having sex with me if i lose weight. how sick is that?!?!
i keep gaining weight and i know it has to do with this relationship.
if i lose weight and get back to my normal self- i know i wouldn't want to have sex with him just to spite him.
i'm right,right? he's messed up adn i'm screwy for even being around him?
there are other qualities that are sooo right about him- but these actions are fundamental on his character right?
help!
The answer is right in front of you. Lose the weight and you will both be happy!
The answer is right in front of you. Lose the weight and you will both be happy!
I disagree!! If she wants to lose weight for herself that is fine if that is what she wants! But to lose weight in order for HIM to be happy?? She owes him nothing! The sooner she gets rid of him and feels better about herself, the sooner she will find someone worthy of her love!
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