Hello All,

For the past 2 years I have been in a long distance relationship with a lovely lady whom I adored. At times our relationship was really tough despite all the wonderful moments that we had had togther. (It was tough because obviously we didn't get to see each other as much as we would have liked and picking up where you left off takes time every time you meet).

Anyway, just before xmas when I was visiting her I received the "I need time and space" and "i'm confused" lines which to be honest I felt were coming because she had become somewhat distant. Like a gent I duly obliged and backed off even though she would not give me a reason for her request. Frequency of contact subsided but once in a while I received the odd "missing you" or "thinking of you" text which I acknowledged in the positve.

After xmas she called and said that she wanted to resume the relationship but in a more relaxed fashion taking things slowly. Again I duly obliged. There followed a period of renewed contact culminating in an agreement to meet. ( I do think that during this time I propably pushed things slightly too hard but not badly) A few days before we were due to meet she cancelled saying that she wasn't ready to meet me. Although disappointed I agreed once again.

Contact died over the next few weeks and then out of the blue (yes you guessed it) I receive a call from her and this time she was purring down the phone saying that she misses my voice and me etc. It was during this conversation that she asked me if I minded her calling. I told her that I did find it tough because it felt like she was using me whenever she got insecure. It also seemed that every time I showed a little interest in her she would back off again.

Eventually after a week of "I miss you but i hope you have a great life" messages from her I eventually sent an email asking her not to contact me again as it was really effecting me emotionally. I said that I was either in the relationship or out, there can be no in-between now. Several days later after no dialogue she sent a reply saying that she accepted my request. That was a week ago now.

Anyway, since then I have been reading up on relationship advice to help me better understand what went wrong. Firstly I lost my job and i'm still out of work, secondly her ex found a new girlfriend and lastly I unitentionally became a wuss. Yes I miss her very much and yes I want her back but I'm not a begging sort of bloke. I'd rather she came back to me because she genuinely wanted to give things a go. I also know now that if she comes back I need to be much more of a challenge to her. I appreciate it is difficult to judge the situation based on a few words but can someone assure me that my "don't call me anymore" email was the right thing to do. And if so why? Many thx.

_Ash_

WILDCAT !!! dude u rock ! ... where in the world did u get so much of text ? it was really good

Wildcat21

Unfortunately - it's the rules dude. It's what woman want.

I know from experience and study. I've been through a lot to tag some beautiful, great woman. I have some great guru's.

Woman live in the bizzaro world, seriously. They may tell you something else. They may tell you they want a nice guy, romance tick, a guy who does and pays for everything - But, it's BS.

Woman want drama - lots of drama - they wont tell you this...but they do. They will argue they don't.

They want a CONFIDENT, KIND (NOT nice guy), Mysterious, FUNNY, well groomed guy - with some jerk-like tendencies. Be allof, DON'T share your emotions, be some what unavailable (hang with friends, workout, work etc.)


OH YES !!!!!! MAKE SURE TO LISTEN!!!! WOMAN need to talk 70% or more of the time - THEY DO NOT want to hear about your whole life story immediately - DO NOT share EVERYTHING!!!!! They want a mysterious man.

NEVER always tease them and bust their chops occasionally - they love and need this to feel.

REMEMBER - woman communicate differently. YOU HAVE to ask questions.

Wildcat21

ALSO - I forgot the worst thing - looking for her approval....NEVER do this - worry about your self. Don't doing things for ALL the time.

And WATCH the compliments.....compliments are great in SMALL doses.

watch the I love you's.....do not tell her how you feel for a long time. She says - "I love you too soon - like a couple months - say "I know"

Squonk

Mate I think you should right a book, you could make some serious coin! My damn head is spinning so much from your good advice I won't be able to speak! Thx again Wildcat for some great input, my head is getting straight.

Wildcat21

I knowthere is a lot more to tell you. Guys aren't born with this stuff. I went for ever not knowing this stuff.

We think we should always be 'nice' to woman - they HATE that!

My current gal loves Tulips - I would go and buy her a field of Tulips - but she would HATE that - she would think I was trying to BUY her affection - you have to give woman favors/kindness in small doses - especially in the beginning.

See - nice guys are approval seakers - WOMAN HATE THAT! You have to do your own thing - treat her 80% of the tiem like woman of your friends/younger step sister. Watch the freaking compliments.

Don't always aim to please.

_Ash_

its true man .. i hv learnt all tht in past too these freakin girls ... they donno wht they want !

dude i didnt get wht exactly did u mean by " ALSO - I forgot the worst thing - looking for her approval....NEVER do this - worry about your self. Don't doing things for ALL the time. "

Wildcat21

Ash - what I ment there, and I have seen this in 90% of all men, being an -kisser - always being agreeable, not putting her in her place when she criticizes you. Being all smilely all the time - worrying that you might upset her about something and always trying to please her. Woman want to be upset sometimes - they feel - they have emotions. They also want to be treated like you treat your friends - no pedestal. Most guys think that if a woman actually likes them they need to treat them like gods - most woman run after a while, they enjoy it initially.

_Ash_

loooolz .. yeah they think they r being real good ... but u stupid guys ... learn to offend them !


Someone'z LAW : Opposites Attract Each Other !


sorry i dnno who the hell wrote tht law ... it sounds stupid but its true !

_Ash_

hey wild .. r u swingcat or hv u read his book ?

Wildcat21

I've read them all. I like Doc Love a lot - no nonse. David DeAngelo is my Quam - DD got me to totally change several years ago and I have had phenominal success. I've spoken with him - he is great guy and just wants to help guys. All woman do is study this stuff and talk about it - guys don't.

I know a guy who on purpose trys to get a woman he first meets and he likes to disagree with him. It builds up this tension in woman and they go bizerk - they love it! Woman want to feel and this creates it.