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About 3 months ago, my girlfriend of 1 year broke up with me because she said that her feelings for me weren't the same anymore because we were arguing a lot. The first half of the relationship everything was great, but after her trip to Mexico she was a different person, she would get mad about little things, she would check my phone and emails when i wasn't looking,she was cold and distant, and I was always the one who had to apologize for everything. Also I think that I became too available for her. Anyways Since the breakup we tried to stay friends but she still acted as if she was my girlfriend in may occasions. We talked on the phone everyday, went to the movies, even made out a couple of times, and we still had a couple of arguments that she started about stupid things. Last week she got mad at me because I forgot to do something she asked me. She called me and was very rude on the phone. I got mad and hangup because Im always doing her favors and I don't think I deserve her talking to me that way. She has not call me since last Thursday and I don't want to call her because my friends told me that if I disappear from her life she will miss me and come back ( I want her back) or that at least I will move on. The problem is that after a week Im feeling weak and I want to know whats up with her. I really care about this girl and I want to know if she is doing OK, but I don't know if a should call her. Also, her friends told me that she may still have some feelings for me.
I know that you still care about her. But by continuously talking to her, you are prolonging the healing process.
Leave each other alone until you've both recovered from the break up. Then when you're feeling more refreshed, you can consider a possible friendship. Otherwise, it will be very difficult for you to move forward with your life.
Not to be rude, but why do you want her back? She does nothing but treat you like crap and complain. What exactly is cool about that?
I think giving it some time away from her with NC will hopefully shine a clearer picture for you. You don't seem happy with the way she treats so I think it is reasonable to leave her be. You don't deserve to be talked to like a child and her taking advantage of the fact that you really care for her.
My advice: continue NC, go out, have fun and experience what it's like to not have to answer to a cold suck up beeyatch.
Relationships are about compromise, unity, sharing & being there for one another. It's not a real relationship if she's doing nothing and you are doing EVERYTHING. You need to keep up with the no-contact, and let your heart and soul heal. Learn to be your own person again. And when the time comes and the right person comes along, you will know. And you will be thanking your lucky stars that you survived your break up, and you have what you worked for.
Not to be rude, but why do you want her back? She does nothing but treat you like crap and complain. What exactly is cool about that?
I think giving it some time away from her with NC will hopefully shine a clearer picture for you. You don't seem happy with the way she treats so I think it is reasonable to leave her be. You don't deserve to be talked to like a child and her taking advantage of the fact that you really care for her.
My advice: continue NC, go out, have fun and experience what it's like to not have to answer to a cold suck up beeyatch.
I know that it sounds crazy that I want her back but I love her so much that I dont want her to get hurt by some other guy. Her last boyfriend treated her really bad and I dont want her to find another guy thats treats her like that.
I dont want her to get hurt by some other guy. Her last boyfriend treated her really bad and I dont want her to find another guy thats treats her like that.
That is a huge piece of the puzzle. She is doing the emotional equivalent of shooting herself in the foot. This something you really can't help her with. Mentally and emotionally, she still has a lot of healing to do. She has to take the time and space to find herself again.
The bad relationship is still with her. She is afraid and and running scared. Mainly from herself. Unfortunately you are a casualty in her inner war. She is sabotaging her current relationship because she doesn't want to get hurt again. She is hurting both of you because she is afraid of making the same mistake again.
Until she is ready to face the past and learn how to put it behind her, she will continue hurting herself and her relationships.
Keeping NC would probably be the best thing to do. Not for you but her.
That is a huge piece of the puzzle. She is doing the emotional equivalent of shooting herself in the foot. This something you really can't help her with. Mentally and emotionally, she still has a lot of healing to do. She has to take the time and space to find herself again.
The bad relationship is still with her. She is afraid and and running scared. Mainly from herself. Unfortunately you are a casualty in her inner war. She is sabotaging her current relationship because she doesn't want to get hurt again. She is hurting both of you because she is afraid of making the same mistake again.
Until she is ready to face the past and learn how to put it behind her, she will continue hurting herself and her relationships.
Keeping NC would probably be the best thing to do. Not for you but her.
WOw I never tough of it like that.....thanks
Yesterday I went out to a club and on my way there I stoped at a friends house to say hi and my ex was there. I did not say word to her but now, after seeing her I feel really bad, I wanted to hug her and talk to her but I didnt. Ive been thinking about her all day and I feel like calling her!!!!!!!!!!!
She didint look too happy and i wasnt eaither , but in front of her I acted as if I was having a good time, and her friend even complimented me on how I looked. Did I do the right thing by not speaking to her?
It's not about the "right" or "wrong" thing. You have to remember why you're ignoring her. It's so that both of you can heal from the break up.
Like you said, you just want to talk to her and hug her. By doing one of the two, it will only add to the confusion (because you risk over-analyzing all the little details) and prolong your recovering process.
You're doing great. Move forward with your life, don't look backwards. Keep up the progress!
Yes, you did. I know it wasn't (and won't be) easy to let her go especially when you see her hurting, but you can't be responsible for her healing. Only she can do that.
You did great, now enjoy yourself and let her deal with whatever her issues are. keeping NC helps her as well as you heal from each other, without those confusing mind games.
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