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If you can't be yourself in a relationship why bother being in that relationship?
The problem is with some people of either sex if they become to clingy, dependent, needy then the relationship is over in allot of cases. Some people are confused with this being a nice guy.
A nice guy is someone who has his own life away from his GF. Who is there for her when she needs him but doesn't let her life evolve around his. If it does this is unhealthy!
Be happy in yourself first. Work on your issues. If your so insecure, then sort it out!
I think I have fallen into the trap of being a 'nice guy' - and it hasn't done me any favours!
I tend not to realise until after a breakup that I have done it. It's not intentional, but I am a naturally caring person. This ultimately turns me into Mr Nice Guy, who texts all the time, and worries about her all the time. After the break up, I realise - but it's too late!
Location: United Kingdom - usually cold and wet here!
Posts: 1,276
Quote:
Originally Posted by cld1979
I think I have fallen into the trap of being a 'nice guy' - and it hasn't done me any favours!
I tend not to realise until after a breakup that I have done it. It's not intentional, but I am a naturally caring person. This ultimately turns me into Mr Nice Guy, who texts all the time, and worries about her all the time. After the break up, I realise - but it's too late!
One day I will learn my lesson! One fine day! LOL
I used to think I was trapped by my own 'nice guy' personality but came to realise that it was a good thing. I have also learned the difference between good and nice and the importance of balance. Being yourself is the best thing to be as long as it is good. Why change something that is good? If people can't accept what is good, then what does that make them? At best, someone who is a poor judge of character or trapped by making poor choices.
Being a nice guy does not mean being a doormat either, although I admit that I had fallen victim to this in the past. Learning more about yourself and other people helps you grow and learn that you just won't accept that. You deserve better and being a nice guy won't hold you back.
Why not consider yourself a rare prize that is waiting to go to the right winner?
The truth is, this probably is the case (if you really do hold the characteristics you think you do). That comes with a sense of arrogance which must be balanced by realising also that no one is perfect including oneself and with this in mind, it is also important not to pre-judge others and to accept faults in others and appreciate them for who they are too.
when I mentioned that more than half of what molds a man into what he is, is determined by what a woman wants people laughed at me. Because of the fact that women are so into the bad guy we have a increase number of "bad Guys". No knock on women, but if they simply refuse to accept these bad guys then the nice guys could possibly finish first, and women will no longer need to say, where are all the good men.