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I am new to this site, but needed some advice so I was redirected and here I am!
I have been single for a good 2 years, prior to that I was in a 4 1/2 relationship. I ended that January 2005. Ever since then I've dated here and there, but nothing serious. Now, I started talking to this amazing guy and we hit it off great! He is now my boyfriend and everything is perfect. My problem is that I keep comparing him alot to my ex of 4 1/2 years. Is that normal? Also, I think I am soo out of the loop in being in a relationship that I sometimes get too control-ish or I think he isn't into me anymore. Like for example, yesterday I'm guessing that he was having a bad day and wasn't responding to me like always and I started overanlyzing why he's acting different. Help, please!?
What happened to end the last relationship? did you learn why it failed, and how you contributed to it's demise? if it ended because you were controlling, then perhaps you didn't try hard enough to mend your ways to make your current relationship better.
and you should just be yourself, maybe yesterday was just a bad day, every relationship has bad days.
You have to remember that the new guy that you're with is a different person and that he may not react the same way as your ex used to when there is something wrong.
You may not be as over the ex as you think, and may still have personal issues to deal with. How long have you known each other, and how old is this relationship?? On the surface, you may have jumped in with someone you haven't taken the time to know, as well as you should, thats why the questions.
My ex and I broke up because he was jealous of everything I did and I couldn't deal with it any longer. I am completely over him. I mean I will always care for him because he was a part of my life for such a long time but I have no feelings and maybe I made myself sounds wrong. I don't have controlling issues, I just left like maybe he thought that, thats why he was a lil hesitate yesterday about speaking with me.
And yes, I know my new bf is new and we both have to learn from eachother.
In the simplest terms, focus on yourself and enjoy him. Dating requires you to maintain independence, and for your happiness from day to day not to depend on what he's doing, or how he feels about you. Spend time with him when you are both free, and enjoy the time. Have a positive mindset. If you aren't confident he's committed, don't have sex with him - just common sense stuff. Don't move in with him unless you are married or at least engaged. Keep your friends around you, talk about something other than your relationship. Men are interested in interesting women, and if your entire focus is them, you ruin what they liked about you to start with.
Even in a marriage, you have to view that other person as a separate and independent entity and it takes a long time to figure out the ways you conect.
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