23 year old virgin

zoe31984 · #1 Feb 9, 2007, 06:01 PM

my boyfriend will not have sex with me. He is very attracted to me, he's not gay, he is not intimidated nor does he have any anxiety about it. He just does not have sex with me. He says that he wants to and when and where is not the problem. My question is, what should i do? and what could be his reason for not having sex? He said he wasn't sexually abused and it's not a religious thing; although he does feel that it should wait till marriage, but he also stated that he is curious and would like to have sex regardless of marriage. So, i am thinking maybe there's some kind of unconscious dred of upsetting his mother. She is very religious and he's a mommy's boy...so i am at the end of my string because i enjoy sex a lot and feel that it is an important aspect in a healthy relationship. If anyone has any ideas or answers please let me know.

KAJICUACA · Feb 9, 2007, 11:13 PM

Oh Dear 23 old virgin! dont just thinks about SEX,how about u relations,religious n family ah.

Geoffersonairplane · Feb 10, 2007, 04:15 AM

Could there be some insecurity, is it that he is afraid how he will be perceived by you physically? Or is it more that he has been raised in an environment that values sex after marriage? It may be that he just does not feel ready. Does he show physical attention to you in other ways? These are all questions you need to ask yourself. No pressure should be placed on anyone to have sex and if you are in the early stages of a relationship, I think it is the decent thing to wait around 3 - 4 months and get to know each other. Sex should be a fun, exciting and loving experience with no pressure involved. Personally, I don't see any harm in sex before marriage as it is a physical union between two people who care for each other albeit not always. Talk to him some more but don't put any undue pressure on him. If this really does last longer than 6 months then there may be something wrong.

KaishaJayne · Feb 10, 2007, 04:18 AM

Try talking to him and say exactly how you feel, especially about the mother bit. Even though that can be quite a difficult subject to approach, BUT, if you enjoy sex and do all the other aspects of a reltionship and not JUST sex, then I don't quite get why its such a problem for sex not to top. I hope things get sorted, sorry not much help

Mr_am · Feb 22, 2008, 05:13 PM

I think he has good values .. and should be respected.



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