nasty txt msg from ex

confused-a-lot · #1 Oct 25, 2007, 06:35 AM

I received a txt msg from my ex (she broke up with me), completely random.
(This could turn into a long post, sorry.)

It said "Didnt f**king take you long. You are so full of sh*t."

I sat there for a while, thinking to myself what it is I had done, why i deserved the msg. And for the life of me could not think of anything, so I sent her a msg back "Was that msg meant for me?" (breaking NC, but curiosity got the better of me)

Her response to this was "yes it f**king was for you"

So I again sat there, contemplating what I had done. And the more I thought about it the more I got annoyed by her accusation as I couldn't think of anything. So... I called her (this is where you all roll your eyes about breaking NC again)

She answered with "Yeah!?" and I could tell she was automatically on the back foot. I asked her what was going on, that i don't know what the msg was meant to mean, if she explained it to me I'd set things straight or except responsibility for what it was, if i did it.
She said "Nothing, don't worry" and hung up.

I called her back, asked her again and she said "Are you with anyone?". I said "what does that matter?, but no, it's too soon and i'm not ready". She hung up.

I left it alone. 10 minutes later she called (I didn't answer the first 2 times). I asked why she wants to know if i'm with someone and why she's upset with me.

------PAUSE THE STORY------

I changed my myspace page relationship status from "Single" to "In a relationship" in an attempt to stop spam from random fake female "model" adding me. I was getting 2 or 3 a day.

------CONTINUE STORY------

She told me that her brother looked at my myspace page, and he had told her i was in a relationship. So I explained why my status was "In a relationship". She felt bad and told me how she had thought about me being with someone else quite a bit. That she got upset because I had apparently found someone new so soon. She told me it has been really hard, that she misses me and thinks of me a lot. That she hates that I don't want her in my life.
I kept things very brief. I said I agree things have been hard. I've thought of her and it's not that I'd never want her in my life, but right now I needed time to heal and look out for myself.
She was crying and kept saying how stupid she felt.
I ended the conversation there, and told her that I had to get back to work, that people were waiting for me. (not really, but i didn't know what to say or do)

I don't know what to make of it all. I don't know what to do.
Can someone please give me an opinion of it all. Some advice perhaps.

I feel like I've been progressing really well, and because of this I've been pushed back.

whiteribbon · Oct 25, 2007, 06:42 AM

Seems like you have been doing really well - dont beat urself up because you broke your no contact - seems like she got a little jealous cause she thought you were in a new relationship, maybe a little sorry for herself because she is lonely and doesnt have anyone new - if she broke up with you then what business is it of hers anyway - start the NC again and dont let her make you feel bad - carry on as you were and be the person you wanna be....good luck

smoothy · Oct 25, 2007, 07:36 AM

Best thing to do with an ex you don't have kids with is keep them an ex....an ex in everything including people you would communicate, basically take the moral high road and ignore them completely. Don't let her drag you down to her level of childishness. And thats exactly what she's trying to do.

confused-a-lot · Oct 25, 2007, 09:32 PM

I recieved another txt from her.

"I've been thinking about yesterday a lot, trying to figure out why i reacted the way i did. It just really hit me. I've been pushing it all down and i guess it all came up. It was very confronting. so yeah"

I haven't replied.
I don't know what to say to her. I don't know what to do about it.

retsoksirhc · Oct 25, 2007, 09:38 PM

If you still like her (not love her, but still want to have her around as a friend), then just tell her that you want to be friends, but that you need some space from her for a little while first. It will give you both time to adjust, and then you can go back to just being friends.

confused-a-lot · Oct 25, 2007, 10:00 PM

I still want more than friends.
I still love her.

statictable · Oct 25, 2007, 11:09 PM

The change to your profile status was at best ill timed; like a salty wound. With a bit of thought on your part this young woman will have a better chance to heal. Good luck.

smoothy · Oct 29, 2007, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by confused-a-lot

I still want more than friends.
I still love her.

Leave her alone...unless you are a glutton for punishment. And if you do go back you lose your right to complain.

Vulf · Oct 29, 2007, 05:22 AM

It seems she's feeling pretty sorry for herself right now, I know it's extremely tempting to talk to her, but you should refrain. Doing so will only add fuel to the fire and complicate your own feelings.
Take a step back and give yourself more room to breathe. I think it's more of a selfish reaction from your Ex, I wouldn't read into it. Take care.

Cher13 · Oct 29, 2007, 10:34 AM

why'd she break up with you ?



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