My muslim fiancŽ thinks Im a virgin.

Again,like you said 'there are some good advices here'. Some people are not going to like others answers,disagree or agree.

I stated an answer which was just forget about it,and go on.He prob won't notice any changes since he is a virgin,and wouldn't know much about it. I did read her post,and read all the others. I know mine isn't a good answer,but its a guess.

I know that you were trying to point it out,but I have no clue why you said 'Once again,you haven't took time to read through the posts'.. Did you say something before? I am a bit confused. However, I do not want to argue in someone's thread. People are going to give answers that people will not agree with.

Okay! I was trying to be nice with you. The reason I know that you haven't read everything, is because it has not been established at all that this man is a virgin! You don't know the facts, and you don't know about the religion, from what you've said. I have to say I don't either, but I respect it, and I read through everything so I could understand. Did you not read that the OP doesn't know herself whether or or he's a virgin? If I missed that, kindly point it out.

That is only one of the reasons I was trying to be kind with you, and was only trying to help you out with making sure you read through before responding. I said "once again," because I had read a prior post of yours, but that's neither here nor there. If you want to get defensive, I know there is a reason for that and I will not engage you in your "right fight." Now, can we just move on?

Perfect dolls: I sympathise with your situation so much. Being Muslim (male) myself I can totally understand where you are coming from.

Having lived in London for 19 years and being born in the USA, I have lived a pretty much 'western' life just like any other. My parents are pretty liberal and only ask that I marry a Muslim.

Back to your issue - I have a best friend (female, muslim, 20 years old) who is dreading the day she has to go through this and let me first off say how brave you are, because I can understand that what is going on with you is a serious matter and really does need a solution.

My friend, has felt guilty, felt as if she is living a lie, doesn't feel worthy etc that she has had sex - she feels like she has betrayed everyone she knows. She doesn't know whethe she will subject to an arranged marriage by her parents, but she does know that if her dad and grandparents found out, they would lose a lot of respect for her.

I want to just add - I have this feeling you family are more 'traditional' and strict and my advice to you would be to NOT tell your future husband that you aren't a virgin because it will ruin your relationship with him, the relationship with your parents will be damaged, you will further alienated by your mistake and you will not be looked on in the same light especially if your parents decide to arrange another marriage will be unlikely.

If you are happy marrying this man, and you are enjoying getting to know him and can see yourself with him then do not do anything. I am not an expert on this hymen business but take the advice of the women on here as to an excuse to use but you yourself must realise that you shouldn't feel guilty - you made a mistake but you have seen the error in your ways and its safe to say you haven't been acting the same - this right here is a testament to your character.

I really do wish you the best. Going through what you are going through is incredibly hard but you have handled it with immense respect and maturity - good on you, you should be really proud you haven't through in the towel so to speak and really care about making this marriage work

All the best.

Oh KC! Sorry, I had to spread the rep. You said what was running through my head! Thank you! Awesome retort! You rock! That was the craziest response I've heard in a long time! ::shakes head::

You could do something I heard about a while back, put a sponge inside your vagina that's soaked with red food colouring, it should leak a bit and give the appearance that there is some blood.

Are you people on drugs? Seriously? Why would you start off a marriage by doing something like this? Let us start our entire foundation on a lie...give me a break!

I don't agree with this. A relationship build on lies is never going to go anywhere.

I just want to clearify something about this.about culture you are right,there are some arabian countries or all the arabian countries,which allows the family or the husband to kill the girl if she is not virgin.about quran and islam,this is not allowed.nobody has the right to kill any girl who is not virgin,and who do so should be killed in turn.and if the husband has a problem with that ,he can divorce her and that is so easy in islam (just one word"you are divorced")but he doesn't have the right to tell anybody that she wasn'tt virgin.for this girl,I would advice her to go to a doctor and fix things .its easy nowadays they do it by lesar.wish for her all the best.if not I advice her not to marry this man or marry him and don't go to an arabian country ,stay in a country where she can be protected.thanks

It is against site rules to send PM's to give advice! Read the rules and regulations you agreed to when you joined this site! Thank you!

No, I don't agree with Iawanwadee, but again why would you have sex, when your religon says "not until marriage"....most people are really forgetting their roots...where they came from...just to be "westernized"..come on suck it up princess....now you need help with what you DID!...you need to tell him.....and your family....for the stupid choice you made...and I wouldn't goooo so overboard with your in danger......your family may not talk to you for a long time, and you may disgrace your family name...but come on ...you knew all this when you had sex...but yes with living in north america there are laws to protect you and me...from crazy people...maybe now you can think more clearly in your choice making, I'm sorry to say ....God bless

Ws Salaam.....