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Okay so here's what's happening now. If you read my post last time, or if you didn't, I was talking about how me & my boyfriend have been dating for some while, but that I recently found out that he was in a 2-year relationship before me, and they were sexual active & everything & that I was worried. Some of you told me that she was an EX for a reason, but others feel that he might still have feelings for her, and that he's just with me to get over the previous girl. All this is coming down on me. I don't know whether or not to trust him. He told me that she was a mistake, & that if he could, he would take EVERYTHING back & save it for me, because I'm pure and haven't done anything with a guy really except kiss. So I took this into my own hands. I asked him if he loved her, & he said NO. He said that everything that happened between them was out of stupidity. :-/ But then whenever I asked some of his friends, they told me that he was whipped. Head of HEELS in love with her. She's a really pretty girl too for that matter. I'm not saying that I'm "unattractive" no, but I'm not going to sound too conceited. But I'm just afraid that he's going to want SOMETHING out of me to get over her. Even reading comments that he used to leave her on MYSPACE kills me. I mean how rediculous is that? & I was even at his house the other day, and I was sort of "snoopping" (I guess you could say) through one of his drawers. I mean guys, he's still got pictures AMONG pictures of them two together. And notes & everything! My thinking is, if someone hurt me, like really HURT ME, I would make a point to throw away anything that reminded me of them. I mean c'mon now.
ok now that i know a little more information here is my opioion...
NEVER judge someone by there past... it has nothing to do with you!!! It should not effect your relationship with him.
But let me tell you why i say that to you, Remember how i told you i had to go through the same thing you are going through with my Finance...?... well i had bad issues as well i was pure and i hated the fact that he wasn't but i loved everything about him... i went snooping about a year and a half into hour relationship and found a picture of his ex hanging inside his safe.. 1 1/2 later... i was mortified!!! that is along time to have his pictures of his ex... so i confronted him about it... he told me straight out ... she was his first love and he couldn't bring himself to throw it away yet... well i was pissed because 2 months into our relationship he found all my pictures of my ex and he ripped them up and threw them away in front of me... so i was mad and i told him i didn't like the fact that he still had that picture especially hanging up... i mean at least your boyfriends pictures are in a drawer.. well to make this very long story short he burned it in front of me to let me know he was over her.... (by the way him and his girlfriend never broke up... her dad hated him and so her dad sent her away with out even saying goodbye or anything... so that is a really HURTful situation)
so he may have loved her ( she was his first)
so he may still have a little bit of feelings for her.. that is ok.. the whole big point here is that he is with YOU no one else just you!!! you can ask him why he still has pictures of them together and you can tell him you don't like it.. but let him get rid of them in his own time...
Just keep telling yourself HE IS WITH YOU NOW NOT HER..
Get past it. pictures are a funny thing, they bring back memories of the way you used to feel about a person at that time. he may be fond of the way he felt when he was with her, so what, that's in his past, akuna matata!
Live in the now, be with him, mind and soul now, don't let an ex blow it for you. don't worry about the sleeping with him part, even if he does come to expect it, you do what is right for you, which seems to be remaining pure until you're old enough and in a committed relationship. Remember, giving yourself like that is a once in a lifetime and it comes with risks, risks of being hurt, getting pregnant and regret. Don't do anything you're not ready for.
So I took this into my own hands. I asked him if he loved her, & he said NO. He said that everything that happened between them was out of stupidity. :-/ But then whenever I asked some of his friends, they told me that he was whipped. Head of HEELS in love with her. She's a really pretty girl too for that matter. I'm not saying that I'm "unattractive" no, but I'm not going to sound too conceited. But I'm just afraid that he's going to want SOMETHING out of me to get over her. Even reading comments that he used to leave her on MYSPACE kills me. I mean how rediculous is that? & I was even at his house the other day, and I was sort of "snoopping" (I guess you could say) through one of his drawers. I mean guys, he's still got pictures AMONG pictures of them two together. And notes & everything! My thinking is, if someone hurt me, like really HURT ME, I would make a point to throw away anything that reminded me of them. I mean c'mon now.
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