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A quick summary to this point....Its been three weeks since my girlfriend of almost 3 years asked me for space, citing that she 'wants to see what its like to be single, and doesn't feel for me the same as she used to'.
I'm glad to say that I think im starting to get better. I still have a hard time somedays, but I am able to go out and only think about her for a few minutes at a time. No longer do I spend all night not enjoying myself because i am depressed....
My issue is this...This week is my spring break. I go to school about two hours from home, so It was semi-long distance for the last year or so, but now that I am home, she claims she has "temptation" to see me. i have seen her twice this vacation already...
I went to see her as a friend...I intended to have a good time, make her laugh, and make her realize she can still have a good time with me, though I didnt mention us, nor try to do anything outside of friendship. We watched TV, went out to eat one night, etc...
My problem is, she seems to have trouble seeing me as a friend. She will hug me, sometimes at length, and tell me it "just feels right". i have no problem with this, my problem comes from the phone call we had later that night. She explained to me that she regrets doing this like this, becuase a big part of her wants to be back with me now, though she still has part of her which wants to be single...
I am really confused, and I dont have any expectations of getting back together with her, at least not anytime soon. I was hoping that we could just remain friends, as I seem to have a fear of her forgetting me, though she swears, and i know, she cannot just forget me.
I just dont understand why she tells me that she regrets hugging me, but she still had fun, and she is the one that says she misses me and really wants to see me. I have not been the one to ask to see her, I have just been asked to go over and visit?
Should I say no next time? Is she asking to see me because its easier, and she doesnt really want to see me? Is me going to see her because she asks wrong???
Every situation is different but this happened to me too, when i broke up with a girlfriend she kept asking me to come over and see her and we would hang out as friends and she would hug me, put her head in my lap etc and then say that it was wrong and she felt weird a few minutes later and it kept happening.
Eventually i just stopped talking to her completely since it made me feel weird when this would happen and eventually moved on.
Again every situation is different, she might be trying to decide if she wants to be back together or is just lonely so she asks you over and then regrets it once you arrive. My advice would be the same as last time, you need to move on, but others may disagree.
The 12th was my birthday, and I believe the original reason we saw each other. She said she would feel terrible not seeing me, so I agreed to let her take me out to dinner. After dinner we hung out for a little while, and I went home.
That may have had something to do with her wanting to see me again in 2 days
Ive been thinking a lot of about it today, and the more and more i think about it, when she asks me to hang out again (i know she will be home tommorrow), I have the gut feeling to say no.
In my head, I want to say no, so i dont get hurt anymore, sometimes I just dont use my head when the time comes :-\
I think you need to be strong. It's not your fault she can't make up her mind.
You sound like a person who knows what they want and when you have made up your mind commits 100%, which I think is fantastic!
I think you need to say "no" if she requests to see you again. This may be an extremely hard thing to do, but in the long run I think it will be a step in the right direction.
By saying this, it will give her space to think and the time to make a decision herself.
After all nobody deserves to be kept hanging in Limbo. It's just too painfull.
Sounds like she wants to just keep you where she wants you. She doesnt want to be with you because she wants to be single but if 'feels so right' when she holds you.
Your just being moved around like a pawn in a chess game so she can get what she wants or until she decide what she wants.
Do you want to be a pawn?
Steer clear of her and look after your own interests.
hey i'm kinda going thru the same... my girlfriend told me she wants to be single (her space) and doest have time for me... what did you do did you quit calling her, and texting her? im kinda in the same boat i hurt every day... going thru this.. but im the one who always ask her if we can hang out, and when we do hang out we kinda make out, etc.... what should i do? anyone have any ideas?
ahhh "the I want space!" Time to move on. Its hard but must be done.
1) No contact
2) Go out with your mates
3) Get a new direction in your life
4) Meet new people and try different new things
5) Start some new hobbies
6) Laugh and have fun fun!
You may find she comes back! But ask yourself, do you want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you? Who after shes played the field, o i made a mistake, its not that great, well tuff sh*t love, u wud have moved on to a healthier place in a better relationship
I broke up with my ex three times, the first two times she came back in 2 weeks. Now its been 6 weeks NC, inculding this time was my birthday. I got a message the day before saying hppy bday. But trust me abide by NC and youll recover alot quicker.
hey i'm kinda going thru the same... my girlfriend told me she wants to be single (her space) and doest have time for me... what did you do did you quit calling her, and texting her? im kinda in the same boat i hurt every day... going thru this.. but im the one who always ask her if we can hang out, and when we do hang out we kinda make out, etc.... what should i do? anyone have any ideas?
Stunning, you might have more luck with your own post, but I can offer you this...
When she told me that she wanted space, it took me totally by surprise, I had no idea it was coming. After a few days of being completely devestated, I came to terms with it. I told myself, "there is nothing I can do, she wants space, I have to give it to her". Since then, I do not call/text/or IM her hardly ever (maybe 5% of the time). The vast majority is her texting me and talking to me.
My recommendations are to listen to what the people here will tell you, as tough as it is to read. In my case, I have not yet gone NC, though many people recommend it. I remained open to her, if she needs to call me, but I steer clear of talking about us, or any emotional issues shes having. I will talk about how her day is, etc...but not about us.
I still hurt most days, but it gets better. Now I can go most of the day, and only spend a short amount of time being down about it. At this rate, I can tell it will just get less and less as it goes on.
As bad as it sounds...lately I start to get angry with her. I dont let her know that, but in my opinion, its her loss. If she wants to throw away what she had with me, then that is her fault. I refuse to be upset because of her stupid (IMO) decisions.
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