Well Guys,
Im back again....

A quick summary to this point....Its been three weeks since my girlfriend of almost 3 years asked me for space, citing that she 'wants to see what its like to be single, and doesn't feel for me the same as she used to'.

I'm glad to say that I think im starting to get better. I still have a hard time somedays, but I am able to go out and only think about her for a few minutes at a time. No longer do I spend all night not enjoying myself because i am depressed....

My issue is this...This week is my spring break. I go to school about two hours from home, so It was semi-long distance for the last year or so, but now that I am home, she claims she has "temptation" to see me. i have seen her twice this vacation already...

I went to see her as a friend...I intended to have a good time, make her laugh, and make her realize she can still have a good time with me, though I didnt mention us, nor try to do anything outside of friendship. We watched TV, went out to eat one night, etc...

My problem is, she seems to have trouble seeing me as a friend. She will hug me, sometimes at length, and tell me it "just feels right". i have no problem with this, my problem comes from the phone call we had later that night. She explained to me that she regrets doing this like this, becuase a big part of her wants to be back with me now, though she still has part of her which wants to be single...

I am really confused, and I dont have any expectations of getting back together with her, at least not anytime soon. I was hoping that we could just remain friends, as I seem to have a fear of her forgetting me, though she swears, and i know, she cannot just forget me.

I just dont understand why she tells me that she regrets hugging me, but she still had fun, and she is the one that says she misses me and really wants to see me. I have not been the one to ask to see her, I have just been asked to go over and visit?

Should I say no next time? Is she asking to see me because its easier, and she doesnt really want to see me? Is me going to see her because she asks wrong???

Wildcat21

This is the calssic where No contact for 3 months would have totally worked. BUT - he chose to stay in contact. That never works.

Learn from this people.

Give her the break - space etc.....and keep to it.

sypher373

Wildcat,

Its tough for me to start no contact when all I want to do is be there for her and help her so it isnt so tough on her. I admit now, that seems like it was the right thing to do, but I dont know if anyone can commit to that the first time they expierence this...

I plan on sticking to the no contact from this point outward, and we will see what happens from here out...

Wildcat....do you think it is too late for this to actually work? Do you think that I blew my chance? The way I see it, not much has changed other than me being hurt, i dont think that her feelings have gotten much different for me, so I think that by starting NC now, i will be able to make her miss what she had...

Do you think its too late?

:-/ I feel like an idiot becuase I didnt follow the advice when this first happened, but you cant blame me...Live and learn i suppose

sypher373

Ergggg,

Guys, I need advice...

We talked, and deicded to stop contact for a while, as you would know if you had read my latest update post.

She has send me a text message, and a few IMs earlier online. Up to now, I have ignored both, though I feel horrible because she is acting like nothing happened, and im not sure if she had the same idea...Maybe I should call her and explain it all as I wanted it? Maybe I should just text her back saying... "I thought we agreed not to talk?"

Im really confused....

talaniman

Wait and see what tomorrow brings, what could she possibly want on Friday night? To see if your home or partying? Naw, that couln't be it could it? Stickto your plan, man and stay unavailable.

Wildcat21

"Its tough for me to start no contact when all I want to do is be there for her and help her"

Be there for her? She asked space. She doesn't wantyou to be there for her. She's dating other guys I a quite sure.

If you want her back you need to learn about playing hard to get. Being there liek a lap dog will not bring her back.

No more Mr. 'Nice' guy - her gay friend can be there for her. You need to date other people as well.

Space 98% of the time means there is another guy involved.

talaniman

That is such a onesided view, and can't you see that it isn't in your best interest to keep contact, and actually push her further away. Yes it tough but for your own good leave her alone.