At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
I have been apart from my man since 14th November. Here is what happened:
When we met on 14th May, 2005 things took off. We were both so much in love with each other even after I had to go through a painful divorce and losing my unborn baby. I met him and instantly we were in love. He fell in love with me harder than I did for him. During last september, I brought the conversation into marriage since I am 35 years old and would like to settle down with kids and all, he said he needed some time to think about it. When he came back after 5 days and no connections until then, he told me that he would definately consider marrying me eventhough he does not believe in marriages. His father, his best friend, his cousin are all cheaters and do not have a happy married life. Things were fine after he said that but towards the end he started acting cold, hence I did. When I wrote him a letter asking what was wrong and hope that all would be fine since I loved him a lot and cared so much for him. His answer was clear:
I am stressed out about this marriage stuff. I do not want responsiblity so I am taking off. I had nothing to say but goodbye even though I died inside. He said if there is unhappiness, one should not mix reality to feelings. He instantly sent my stuff that was at his home back to me. Last week I found out he had been seeing his girl since 3 or 4 weeks. They say he is not into her all that much and all. I am thinking maybe he liked this other girl and left me for her, or he awent straight into a relationship maybe to forget me?? I do not know. There is 1 thing I know. I miss him a lot. We are on line all the time but not say anything to each other. I love him still. I am also seeing a psyciatrisit almost 3 times a week. nights and weekend are hard. Cant sleep cant eat but I am working on it.
I thought I would keep you updated... I have come back from Newyork now and it was fantastic. I really had a great time with my old friends, laughed a lot and when I was there something funny happened... What do you think this is...
An old girlfriend of mine phoned me up and asked me the reason for breaking up with my boyfriend. I was shocked because she did not know any details about him. Anyway she told me that a firned of hers is asking for nother friend who is involved witg him right now. Apparently she really wanted to know the reson for us breaking up and she asked a lot of questions about me. I mean if this girl is asking about me a lot that means things are not so great bewteen them. Am I right? Could this be? Also his bestfriends wife called me on the same day from her husbands phone where I know they were together away for the weeeknd and that my ex's girlfriend was not there with him. I think things are a bit rocky but I can not ask anyone. I just have to wait and see I guess.
But dont you think his girlfriend asking about me (and apparently a lot of questions) means that things can be rocky for them? or is this my wishful thinking?
<<But dont you think his girlfriend asking about me (and apparently a lot of questions) means that things can be rocky for them? or is this my wishful thinking?
>>
Hi there Singly, glad you had a great time in New York.
yeah it could mean that(sounds about right, rebound relationships last about 3 months)
but its better not to assume anything..
keep as you have been doing and keep on your healing path.
Here is what happened.. Last night when I was at work working, he appeared on line and we ended talking online for 2 hours exactly. The minute he said where have you been to be, I told him NewYork and said to him this : Funny thing happened while I was there; an old friend of mine called me on the phone and told me that your girlfriend was asking her a lot of questions about me, you and why we broke up"... the minute I sent this he said, what I am not involved with anyone seriously, this is madness that your girlfriend contacted you... and I said well no worries I just wanted to tell you that I told her what we had was private and I was not gonna share it with them just for your info I said... And he said "the women are unbearable".. and I said well anyway so how are you and your granny and from then onwards we chatted about stuff and shared songs, picters and at one point he told me he was searching me on the net and that he had found a poem written by me to my ex husband before we broke up. The poem is about me not going to be able to love anyone else and that it was sad we broke up etc... It really is terrifying for him since it seems like I could not anyone but my exhusband --uups... It is not the case but I mentioned nothing and asked him why he needed to search me on the net he said I just thought about it... and I said nothing and passed on to another subject.. we talked about Newyork and my pictures on myspace - he told me that he never told his granny that we broke up and that everyone was soo upset we broke up... He also told me he learnt many ways to make coffee. And I said you should make me some... he said sure.. and he said : lets have dinner sometime... and I said sure why not. at the end of the conversation he said it felt really good to talk to me and that I should not forget to have dinner with him. And today he sent me some photos from his saililng event we chatted for 2 minutes and he asked a meaning of an english word. and that was it...
There is some progress there, but I wanted your opinions...
What do you guys think I should do? What does all this mean, I am aware that he misses me...oh and not to forget I ttold him that I should visit his granny since he did not tell her we broke up and that she is really old and loves me a lot...
Overall I seemd relaxed and fun and put him in a funny place with the mentioning of the girlfriend - there was a lot I could have said but did not just so he would not run away
Keep on your path as there is no reason to change and rush back into what was broken or have you forgotten. All things are beter after a lot of thought and going slow. Take care of your issues first.
<<Overall I seemd relaxed and fun and put him in a funny place with the mentioning of the girlfriend - there was a lot I could have said but did not just so he would not run away >>
good attitude,
Keep the converation shorter the next time, 2 hours is too much.
Plus keep remembering the following, he is the one who left you, he should be the one fighting to win you back, not the other way around. Sit back now and wait for him to contact. Act aloof and slightly disinterested the next time.
this guy seems like a total waste of your time!! forget about him and find someone else. you can't trust this guy to come back to you and not do something wrong. don't even try geting him back. he's not worth it!!
Here is what happened: he contacts me on the msn since tuesday (today is friday) and since tuesday we decided to have dinner... we are dinig on Saturday night. and the rest of the time he speaks to me on the msn as if we are buddies askin me about music, ipods etc...
I am having a breakdown of somesort about how I should be? Obviously I am wishin to have him back but all that pain I had I cant forget... I m not angry but have so many questiıns on my mind. Dont wanna ask him straight coz I havent seen him in 3 months..
I believe I should be all relaxed and happy and sexy!!!??? and maybe wait for him to take on the conversation... I dont know ...
Any suggestions for tomorrow's date? Need them urgently..
yes be relaxed and happy and mysterious , dont be too sexy or flirty,
act like he is a friend and that you are fine with that. You need to be UNCERTAIN about him, Do not ask him any question about the past. Nothing. He should be the one to bring that up.
Could you pretend it is the first time you have ever met him and act like that, act like you did on your first date.Dont let him know too much about you.
Linear Mode
