i met my ex about 5 months after splitting up with a long term partner. Everything was fine between us until my ex partner (long term) found out i was seeing someone else and started to try to win me back, letters texts etc.. this went on for few months and made me really think bout who and what i wanted. I decided to stay with my now ex gf. Around christmas time last year we were having lots of arguments (caused by my ex long term partner) after a drunken night out i ended up sleeping with my ex long term partner. This is the first time in my life i have ever done anything ike that and felt so guilty after. Anyway my ex long term partner went straight round and told my now ex girlfriend and we split up for about a month until i could convince my now ex gf that it was her i wanted to be with and i made a stupid mistake. I changed my mobile number and started afresh with my now ex. After a while my ex long term gf got back in touch and tried to apologize she was really upset and we started texting each other (just about random stuff) my now ex found out about this and said she would end things between us i i didnt change my mobile number again, but i promised her that if she ever got in touch again i would tell my now ex gf and change my number. Around 4 weeks ago now she did text me again saying that she was really ill and needed to go into hospital - me being stupid replied to her text and did not tell my now ex gf about it, she did not reply to my text asking how she was so i ended up going round to her house to make sure she was ok, we went for a coffee (nothing else happened) and had a chat, when i was going she got really upset and started crying. i text her when i had left her to make sure she was ok. she replied telling me to leave her alone and to stop texting her! later that week i stopped over at my now ex gf house, the next morning whilst in the shower she read my text messages and saw the text of the ex long term gf asking me to leave her alone. She went hysterical and said it was over, i tried to explain but she said that i had lied and cheated to her and it was over. She has changed her mobile number and blocked my emails, i have sent her letters, flowers, tried talking to her, been round to her house in a drunken state to try to tell her how much i love her and miss her. All she said is that i should have thought about this before i did what i did and that she no longer loves me and she hates me and for me to leave her alone. I have even tried talking to her mum who got upset about it all and said "is that really how she feels?" and "your feelings dont change overnight" and that my now ex thought i was the one she would be with forever. After trying with the flowers and letters and crying whilst telling her how much i love her i decided to try to leave her alone so i sent her a letter telling its not what i want but i understand i have hurt her and she no longer loves me or wants anything to do with me and i will leave her alone to get on with her life. Its been a couple of days now and i have not heard anything from her, im so scared that i will never see her again and have lost the best thing to ever happen to me, i really dont know what to do! i mis her so much i know what i did was wrong and dont blame her for hating me. Im trying to leave her alone but is so hard!

Wildcat21

You made your own bed. Now sleep in it.

This ones done - she will never compeltely be able to trust you. You DID not repsect the new gal at all. No trust. No repsect. No relationship.

"after a drunken night out i ended up sleeping with my ex long term partner." - horrible.

Y0u will not hear from her. SOrry to be blunt but....move on.

AND - Flowers, leters, e-mails, begging - NEVER work - only in the movies.

PLEASE respect her wishes. "All she said is that i should have thought about this before i did what i did and that she no longer loves me and she hates me and for me to leave her alone. " You must do this.

You're biggest MISTAKE was havin gany type of contact with your ex-ex. Dumb.

Learn from this.

There is no win back here. Not possible. Not healthy.

This is turning into stalking.

Be busy with other stuff - work, school, friends, hobbies, WORKOUT,

You really need time to yourself for a few onths to thin ths through - ono ytiem will make it better. Then date.

Geoffersonairplane

Agree with Wildcat.

You have made a huge mistake seeing your previous ex and then sleeping with her. You should have stayed well away..She was your ex for a reason.

You don't resolve arguments by sleeping with an ex.

I don't blame your now ex for not wanting anything to do with you. You have now become a cheater.

Leave her alone is the best advice I can give you like she asked of you. Don't disrespect her anymore by ignoring what she has asked you to do.

She won't be coming back - - 99.9% sure of that.

Your ex ex was Jealous and could not face the fact that you moved on and you took the bait and she won this game of chess, you are now single again... It's check mate I'm afraid!!

There is something you can do though, on a more positive note.

Learn from your mistake and move on!!

Wildcat21

Yep - you never get an ex back after lying, cheating, abuse - verbal and physical.

This is an unhealthy situation for her and she'd, sorry for you, be smart to stay away.

You need to learn from this.

next time cut off ALL contact from Ex #1 - she seems liek MASSIVE trouble - and you allowed her to stay in contact - how nice of you.

like Geof said - they are EXs for a reaons. Now both are.

jasyrowb

thanks wildcat, deep down i know your right its just hard to admit it to myself thats all.

Wildcat21

That's true - I HATE to be harsh....but some people just need to hear the truth and not what they want to hear.

And drinking is certainly no excuse. Sorry that happened to you - next time end all contact with ex's when entering into a new relationship.

How do you think that current gal felt when you were still in conatact?

You might consider calling her in 6 months - ONCE. But that would be it.