The Background:

I'm 21 she is 19... and we go to school for the same major. We had a loving relationship for 8 months and then broke up because for the last few weeks that we were together we were arguing a lot about random stupid stuff that didn't need to be argued about. She broke it off with me and we went our separate ways. I went out and partied and had a good time and she went out and did what she does. She found a new boyfriend 2 weeks ago which I found out about it and I wasn't too happy about it. This past Saturday I get a call from her saying how much she really does miss me and how she wishs things were different and wants to try to slowly work things back to what they were. So she broke up with her boyfriend the next day and we have been talking. I told her she has a lot to prove to me so I don't get hurt again.

The Question:

Maybe some of you have been in this situation before or have had to deal with it at some point in their life. What I want to know is how should I go about this to not screw anything up? Right now we are just going to take things slow and sort of start over. Any input would be great.

I am delighted for you. (I would currently be happy to get this outcome).

It appears that you have already managed to avoid blind emotion and thought logically about this.

You won't just go in without thinking carefully because you don't want to be messed about, so you don't want to appear over eager.

Clearly her attraction for you is still there. You showed her you could deal with it by going out partying and she has become curious and realised that as you had such good times maybe you are the right person.


Go for it mate. Don't appear too keen and keep a balanced approach in your response. Show her you want her, make her wait a tiny bit, then hopefully nature will take it course.

Job's a good'en.

Fantastic.

How long ago was all this?

If I were to ever go back to my ex, which I wouldn't. I would have my own life completely!! I would go very slow, keep it spontaneous and interesting etc etc. As I would with any new relationship.

Good luck.

I agree wholeheartedly with Jiser and I would do the same. One of the major obstacles in relationships is maintaining ones own identity. It ensures you always have something to add to the relationship and not just merely co-exist. Considering your age it's a necessity, relationships at your age are quite difficult to keep. Especially when the girl is still finding herself. Good luck and cheers.

Ditto to above. I remember before I had a serious relationship it annoyed me immensley that some of my friends had relationships. In that they were allways unavailable! 24/7 girlfriend no time for friends.

I still have mates like this and sometimes they don't listen to the things I have learnt, sad...

Its about maintaining a balance in your life. This is something I will take throughout my life. All thanks to the one and only first love!

Yeah heh, I had an older friend who has been married for years and when I told him I was working out and had some new hobbies and friends that I sought after breaking up with my ex he was like "Why didn't you just do these things when you were with her?" The simplicity of the question rocked me, considering I was completely unable to answer it and felt like a 12 year old again.

Well I'm still going to go out and have fun with friends and what not like I have been recently. And keep hanging out with people when I'm free. Any more responses to this question is greatly appritiated!