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i've been messing with a married guy for the last 3 yrs...and even tho i know he's married i love him and i believe he loves me...i put up wih his crap, but he doesn't want me to date/talk to another man even tho he's married and lives with his wife...i tried to leave him a few times, but he ends up buying me back....why is he so selfish? why can't i have someone on the side too? how do i leave him for good?
homegirl...he's on my voicemail...so i got him....my locks r changed now...and as far as money...he was my provider...i am not making any real money right now...i am PT getting 16hrs a week...he told me i didnt have to work because he would take care of us...so i went down to a few hrs a week...
talk to your company on monday about getting more hours. If he pays your rent and bills he is still controlling you. if they won't hire you full time then look for another job where you can be full time.
If your company can't give you more hours, look for a new job. From this point foward, he is not paying your bills. I guarentee you won't check another dime from him unless you drop everything. If you do that, you will give him even more power over you because it will show him that you are weak. YOU ARE NOT WEAK!!!! YOU ARE WOMAN!!!! HEAR YOU ROAR!!! (you are supposed to roar now) If you don't think your work will put you up to full time, start looking for a job this weekend. Do not waste any time.
thank you sooooo much homegirl!! I AM WOMAN!! and he WILL HEAR MY ROAR!! i am done with hm!! I DONT NEED HIM AT ALL!!! he's controlled my life for 3years...i am taking it back...
Well done!!!! And remember that he has tried the violence angle and that hasn't worked , he might try the nice angle now but remember , DON'T FALL FOR HIS LIES!
Now that we have it settled that you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT!!! You need to plan your work....and work you plan. Start with the finances. Make your budget this weekend. With the bills you currently have, find out what you NEED. Rent, food, transportation, utilities, insurance, savings, credit card pymts, etc. Once you figured out what you need, use that to determine how much you need to make to make it. If the numbers scare you, you need to downsize. Get a cheaper car or smaller apartment. Although it may be sad to get rid of those luxeries...it is only temporary. It is better to be happy and safe in a smaller apartment or cheaper car....then to be an endentured servant. Remember, how you handle this situation will show your daughter the kind of strength that women have....
I just want to jump in and say you can without a doubt do this.
When my dad left my mom he left he without anything. He refused to pay support and he never allowed my mother to work (he is/was very controlling). She didn't know what she was going to do. My mom pulled herself up by the bootstraps and worked 3 jobs to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. After a short time of doing that we moved closer to her family. We lived with my aunt for 6 months and my mom was able to drop one job from the regime and worked 2. My mom always says that she has no idea where the strength to do all of that came from. Because on top of all the hard work my mom was chasing my dad down trying to find him in order to get him to pay child support. You never know what you are capable of until you are faced with a challenge that seems too big.