I am a 20 year old male, gay, and I am hopelessly in love with my roommate of three years. He, unfortunately, has all the symptoms of straightness. Most importantly, he has a girlfriend who he loves to have sex with.. I think. Through the years, he has become my best friend. he knows I'm gay and I have accepted that I shouldn't look for a relationship in his direction. That was all nice and fine until school let out this summer and we decided to rent a house together. his girlfriend took and internship in another state and he sees her maybe once every two weeks. Since the beginning of May, he has started to act really flirty with me and unfortunately it is working and I'm starting to fall for him in a way I haven't in a few years.

He always sits next to me with some part of his body touching me. Sometimes he randomly grabs me from behind and tells me he loves me. Sometimes he'll just sit in my lap. He gives me a lot of attention and the first thing he does when he gets home is find me and ask me what I want to do with him that afternoon. A few days he opened up to me about a couple of things he never told me before including that he didn't want to go see his girlfriend this weekend. He said it was too much of a hassle and he'd just rather stay here.

Anyway, as the weeks wore on, I started to get more and more hopeful about the possibility of something forming between us. Then all of a sudden, two days ago, he withdrew. Then his girlfriend came over to surprise him and he spent the whole weekend with her making sex sounds in their room. I hadn't realized that I had gotten so attached to him. it actually hurt me hearing those sounds on the way to the bathroom.

What should I do? I don't think I have the will power required to avoid him. He'll sense it anyway and try to get me to go out with him or something which I'll do without thinking.

rankrank55

Not really besides my gut feeling...

Synder

Okay, none of those things makes a person straight or gay as I guess you found out. I like football I know gay guys who play football , lots of gay guys drink beer, and sometimes the nuts itch. I think most of the problem is that for every stereotypically gay guy, there are five guys who blend in seamlessly.

americangayboy

Ummm...that's my point exactly. He was nothing that you imagine a gay (or in his case bi) man would be, but he still had sex with men. My point is the only people we can be sure about are those of us who have come out as gay (well, i guess that's not 100% true but people are more likely to lie and say they're straight than the opposite).

Synder

Well it all depends on how far you want to go to find out. Go ahead and ask him or take him up on one of his innuendos. Make sure whatever you do, you have his feelings in mind and you don't corner him or put unnecessary stress on you or your relationship with him.

rankrank55

I completely understand! I won't ask him, it doesn't matter to me. If he ever wants to tell me then i'm sure he will...until then, we will still be the best of buds!

rankrank55

Thanks for both of your input BTW! Good luck in both of your situation also!

Synder

Here is another one, there is a guy in my class (college). With him, I just have a feeling. No evidence, no years of friendship. I actually only met him a few weeks ago. He just seems kind of... well gay.

So I become his lab partner basically because he was cute and that...feeling. The only thing I noticed was that he didn't mind brushing up against me (randomly on accident) or reaching over and around me while we did experiments. He seems like the quiet type. I'll catch him outside of class reading some novel. In class, even though he has been there for almost two months now, he doesn't seem to talk to the girl he sits near to or anyone really. So I found out his name and I looked him up on facebook. He's one of those people who doesn't list what gender he's interested in. He also didn't have more than 35 friends at my school which is really low for a third year. He has a ton of pictures though. The ones he has posted himself aren't of him or his friends, but one particular guy.

Some of them include a girl, but most are of the guy. Him sleeping, him at a park, him posing in front of a statue. The comments he makes are stuff like "aw soooo cute" or "omg hawt." The thing is, that guy he has pictures of is pretty cute actually and in all the 170+ pictures people have posted of him, none of them include a girl and him together going back three years so I figure he's probably gay and that my gaydar is working at least a little.