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I am a 20 year old male, gay, and I am hopelessly in love with my roommate of three years. He, unfortunately, has all the symptoms of straightness. Most importantly, he has a girlfriend who he loves to have sex with.. I think. Through the years, he has become my best friend. he knows I'm gay and I have accepted that I shouldn't look for a relationship in his direction. That was all nice and fine until school let out this summer and we decided to rent a house together. his girlfriend took and internship in another state and he sees her maybe once every two weeks. Since the beginning of May, he has started to act really flirty with me and unfortunately it is working and I'm starting to fall for him in a way I haven't in a few years.
He always sits next to me with some part of his body touching me. Sometimes he randomly grabs me from behind and tells me he loves me. Sometimes he'll just sit in my lap. He gives me a lot of attention and the first thing he does when he gets home is find me and ask me what I want to do with him that afternoon. A few days he opened up to me about a couple of things he never told me before including that he didn't want to go see his girlfriend this weekend. He said it was too much of a hassle and he'd just rather stay here.
Anyway, as the weeks wore on, I started to get more and more hopeful about the possibility of something forming between us. Then all of a sudden, two days ago, he withdrew. Then his girlfriend came over to surprise him and he spent the whole weekend with her making sex sounds in their room. I hadn't realized that I had gotten so attached to him. it actually hurt me hearing those sounds on the way to the bathroom.
What should I do? I don't think I have the will power required to avoid him. He'll sense it anyway and try to get me to go out with him or something which I'll do without thinking.
Oh by the way, he wont let me give him head. He says he doesn't like it. The conversation was more like.
"Jason, can I give you head?"
"No."
"Right now."
"No."
"Are you sure? You can blame it on the beer."
"I don't like head honestly."
The conversation before that was:
"Jason, are you bi?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Its okay dude."
"I will never f.u.c.k a man." (oddly specific there. A stright guy would say 'I only like girls')
"So would you let him f.u.c.k you?"
He thinks for about a minute then says "yes." Then he proceeds to mount my friend next to me and he scares him for a bit then he says "I'll just blame this on the beer."
The conversation a little before that was one of my female friends talking to me.
"I don't know any gay guys with mostly guy friends."
"You mean like me?"
"Yeah, you're the only one."
Then Jason raises his hand and I say, "What about Jason, he and I have the same friends and he's gay." Jason just laughs and says he needs to change out his contacts. While he's gone, we dicide that he's gay or bi and we decide to just ask him when he returns.
Sounds like he's bi ( at the very least bi-curious), but he's afraid to admit it to himself or others. I have a friend who acts like he may be bi, but gets all pi**ed off if you ask him if he might, could be, may be possibly be bi-sexual. You have two options...Ride out the storm, or wait until your lease is up and, to quote another user, get the hell out of there. It isn't fair to you to string you along. I know you have feelings for him, but try to push them aside until he figures out what he wants. Oh, by the way, don't sit around waiting on him...make him chase after you.
Just a word to amricangayboy: That really wasn't so hard. But of course, when I asked him, there were three other friends in the room and they all agreed that he was gay or at least the most bisexual person in existence. Now I'm curious what the deal is with your straight friend.
Well, here goes: I thought he was gay when I first met him...turned out that he isn't (or at least in the closet). We have a very bizarre friendship; very sexual in nature. When we're out at the bar, he feels me up and makes jokes about how he's really gonna give it to me later that night. Also, he always joked about how we were such a great couple when we worked together (and a lot of our coworkers agreed; I recently spoke to one who lives out of state now and she casually asked if we were STILL together...we were never a couple, but people assumed we were).
When his friends from college would come around, he got all uncomfortable about being around me, he wouldn't say anything sexual to me (which was weird) and would talk about girls (very disrespectfully, I might add). Anyway, he started dating this girl, and was with her for several months. I went from seeing him every day to once in a while. The strange thing is, he never let me meet this girl, didn't talk about her when I was around, and continued to be dirty when we were hanging out.
They broke up about 2 weeks ago, and he started sending me naughty messages the night that he broke up with her. Since then, he's called me every day, sometimes several times a day just to chat. We ended up hanging out last week. He kept talking about how much he needed a bj and a massage. I said "I've been known to give both" to which he laughed and was like "if I don't find a girl in the next 20min, you're my guy!"
Over the weekend, I got a smidge drunk (it was Pride) and I sent him and some other friends a message that was like "too bad you didn't come out with me tonight, i would've given you head" He called me the next day and was like "Do you even know what you sent me? Were you serious?" He was really uncomfortable with the message (which I thought was relatively bland) and now he's avoiding me. I'm just completely confused, I never know if he's joking or serious, I don't get why he has become uncomfortable with my sexual jokes, especially since he makes them toward me, and I don't know why he changes his behavior so dramatically when certain friends are around (well, I have an idea, but I can't say for sure).
First question. Do you mean Atlanta Pride? Second, your guy seems even more blatant than mine and its funny that he reacted about the same way my guy did. What did you say when he asked you if you were serious?
No, I live in the midwest. I passive agressively said "what do you think?" and now I'm kicking myself. The problem is that I'm never sure if he's joking or not...he's very hard to read.
Hmm, joking like that is usually a way to do what you want to do something you couldn't do otherwise without a consequence. I hope you guys good luck and remember that if he doesn't come around, there are plenty of gayer fish in the sea.
Yeah, he just asked me out for drinks tonight and he always makes the joke "with a few drinks in me, you might get lucky" (not that that's ever worked out before, but he has felt me up!)
I know there are other fish in the sea, I've seen MANY of them. But this guy is just so everything that i want (except out of the closet). He's cute, funny, really smart, has good taste in music, he's not pretentious, has a good job, he's very masculine (for a gay man, a little femme for a straight) Oh well, one of these days someone will knock my socks off!
Sounds like a person totally confused, who has some curiosity but isn't ready for it full on. Perhaps hes merely testing the waters with flirting etc. Don't let yourself get to involved! Or you may set yourself up for a big fall!!
In fact I thought I fell in love with a best friend of mine for a year or two, I was obsessed! It was so unhealthy, I even went through a stage of experimenting with guys. However I know now I am not gay but maybe a little curious. Maybe he is going through a stage.
Anyway I am all for women, apart from the shopping part and obsessive cleaning habits - I assume this comes into play when married or living together?
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