I am a 20 year old male, gay, and I am hopelessly in love with my roommate of three years. He, unfortunately, has all the symptoms of straightness. Most importantly, he has a girlfriend who he loves to have sex with.. I think. Through the years, he has become my best friend. he knows I'm gay and I have accepted that I shouldn't look for a relationship in his direction. That was all nice and fine until school let out this summer and we decided to rent a house together. his girlfriend took and internship in another state and he sees her maybe once every two weeks. Since the beginning of May, he has started to act really flirty with me and unfortunately it is working and I'm starting to fall for him in a way I haven't in a few years.

He always sits next to me with some part of his body touching me. Sometimes he randomly grabs me from behind and tells me he loves me. Sometimes he'll just sit in my lap. He gives me a lot of attention and the first thing he does when he gets home is find me and ask me what I want to do with him that afternoon. A few days he opened up to me about a couple of things he never told me before including that he didn't want to go see his girlfriend this weekend. He said it was too much of a hassle and he'd just rather stay here.

Anyway, as the weeks wore on, I started to get more and more hopeful about the possibility of something forming between us. Then all of a sudden, two days ago, he withdrew. Then his girlfriend came over to surprise him and he spent the whole weekend with her making sex sounds in their room. I hadn't realized that I had gotten so attached to him. it actually hurt me hearing those sounds on the way to the bathroom.

What should I do? I don't think I have the will power required to avoid him. He'll sense it anyway and try to get me to go out with him or something which I'll do without thinking.

Synder

Basically, he is really pulling a 180 from the way he was acting the last few weeks so I started to feel really silly for having such strong feelings for him. I still really like him of course, but I realize now that it would be much easier on both of us if I just let him go. There are so many fish in the sea. Fish without girlfriends. Fish who are definately 100% gay. Smart, funny, cool fish with perfect bodies looking for fish like me. I mean tomorrow is the pride festival after all and its not like its been a long time since my last bf.

(No I'm actually sad about it but I'll keep positive)

talaniman

I have to commend you for your choice to pursue your own happiness, and not hold on to false hope, because I was starting to think he has his own agenda, and you where not going to be a recipient of a healthy relationship with him.

Synder

Just for closure though, he just walked in my room, sat next to me on my bed. I gave him some space. He told me I should have stayed next to him. Then he asked me if we were going to the pride festival. Ha, I'm glad ive given up on him. Such a confusing guy.

americangayboy

He seems like a confusing guy. If you can muster up some courage, tell him to knock it off next time he gets affectionate with you and explain why it needs to stop. I should tell you that I don't have the balls to do this to my straight crush, but as they say "Easier said than done!"

Synder

You know what was embarrassing? The two times he wanted to come into my room yesterday were the two times I happened not to be wearing anything (I decided to shave my underarms after I took a shower cause I've been putting that off for a while and I just didn't feel like putting on clothes when I got to my room). So I had to yell through the door which was greatfully locked "I'm not wearing any pants" to which I got the reply "Its okay." So I tell him to wait a sec anyway and I scramble for some pants ignoring underwear and a shirt and opened the door. Thats the point where he sits right next to me on my bed. So the two of us were not wearing shirts at all and I really felt uncomfortable because I was worried that he would see that I wasn't wearing underwear or figure I was jacking off or something or realize that I had just shaved or smell the aftershave I used (not that he didn't know I shaved or jacked off, but it was still uncomfortable). So I scoot away a bit, grab a shirt and then kind of relax and leaned on my desk chair from my bed with my legs on the base.

So what does he do? He gets up off the bed and sits on the chair I'm practically straddling! Thats the point where I back up and sit cross legged on my bed and he says "You could have left your legs there." I don't know if he expected me to lean back right on him something but I just shrug and say "Whatever. Doesn't matter."

So later I kind of bring up that Friday, Saturday and Sunday are the pride festival and he goes "So are we going?" Like it was obvious that we would be going together if I went. I tell him sure because, honestly, I was worrying about who I would be going with at all and was afraid to ask him. I mean he's supposed to be straight and wait a second, didn't he have a girlfriend he has sex with every weekend? Why would he want to go to a huge gay festival alone with a gay guy instead?

So it was decided that we would go today. Anyway so our friends come into my room wanting to go out for all you can eat pork night at Shonney's. So he tells them straight up that he would rather stay with me in my room and watch the tv with me. Then even more of our friends stand in the doorway and just repeat the question four or five time like some kind of mob and I say to Jason (not his real name) "you should probably go." So he turn to me and asks "yeah, I guess, so are we going?" This again implies that if we went it had to be together. I tell him that we should go and we do.

I'm just going to interject here that the last four days was all about him ignoring me and going off to places without me so this is just weird.

Anyway, so later that night was the second time he wanted to come in my room while naked. This time it was about midnight and I had already told him goodnight. What was worse this time is that I was actually considering jacking off this time and I had pulled up some porn to do it. So again I tell him "I'm not wearing any pants" and he says "Its okay, I'm not wearing a shirt," and again I tell him to wait anyway. To make it even worse was that this time I only managed to pick up a pair of shorts this time and this particular pair of shorts were kind of loose. So he just talks to me for a few minutes and leaves, all the while I'm holding the back of my shorts up behind me greatful that I hadn't managed to get hard yet!

That ends one of the most awkward confusing afternoons in a while. I found it all really funny. Sorry if I this post isn't very well written, but I was being very casual about it. I use the word 'so' and 'anyway' a lot when I'm telling stories out loud.

americangayboy

Ummm...maybe you should offer to give him head and see how he reacts.

Kattalover

Maybe you should have told him through the door that you were watching gay porn and to come back when you were done.

Synder

I hadn't actually started looking at anything. I had just opened the file. Plus he was all like "I want to talk with you" so I had to open the door.

See, about four weeks ago out of the blue he asked me "can I suck your a.s.s(wow there is a filter here)," and then patiently waited for an answer. After my initial shock wore off enough for me to speak I answered "What?!" Then I turned him down and he laughed it off. See so it wouldn't even surprise him if I asked something as tame as giving him head.

Anyway we are off to Pride Atlanta! I'm going to go get fabulous.

americangayboy

You should've gone for it!

Synder

Except, that was a month ago when he was just starting to get flirty. I could only hope/assume/believe that it was a joke and/or trap.