Wow, where do I begin. We have known each other for 5 years and have been extremely great friends. Not only is he married but I am close with his kids, know his wife and I work for him. Funny thing is, I never found him sexually attractive and therefore allowed myself to get close to him and this is how we grew to be very close friends. We socialized regularly but I never thought we would ever cross the line. He made a few attempts but I always passed them off as a joke. Anyways one night several months ago I gave in to his advances and we crossed the line. Fortunately I did not sleep with him. However after that night I started to realize that I had serious feelings for him and that I could not get passed that night. He was sceptical about getting involved, however we got involved. He would never take it all the way and maybe in some ways I should be grateful. What bothers me is that he said that he wanted to try and just have fun with it and was afraid of getting emotionally involved and yet he took it to the next level by introducing the "L" word. After the night we said it, he would never repeat it. He said he did not want me to know how he really felt. To make a long story short he is now telling me that things have happened at home that have made the wife suspicious of him cheating and we need to end it in fear that not only will she find out but that she will find out it is me. He says he wants to go back to being friends. The way we were before we got involved. How the heck do I do that? He has had me on an emotional rollercoaster for several months. He told me that he has not even so much as kissed another woman besides his wife in the last 29 years of married. When I asked him why me, his answer was because of how close we got and circumstance. All he would ever say is that he wanted to be with me but because of his situation he could not, said he could not be completely physical because it would bring us emotionally closer. But I never could get it. What we did do actually brought us more emotionally closer than sex would have ever done. Needless to say, it is over now and I am not happy with the way that he chose to deal with things in the past and the way that he chooses to deal with things in the present. However, I do not know how to move past this. My desk is steps away from his office and although I do not have to deal with him directly on a daily basis, I do see and hear him on almost a daily basis. The office environment is an incredibly social one and unless I leave the company, avoiding him is near impossible. However, leaving the company is really not an answer. The problem is, I don't know how to not let any of it bother me any longer. It is near impossible to get up in the morning, let alone look forward to going to work. When I get there it takes everything in me to get even slightly motivated. Mind you when he is not there I am able to concentrate and am incredibly productive, however when he is in the office I have no hope in hell. To top it all off, because most of the office leaves by 4.30 and he generally works a little later, I end up going into his office at the end of the day in hopes to sort things out and end up leaving even more miserable than when I started. Somehow I need to put an end to this and have worn out most of my sources. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading

twinkiedooter

If you can't leave that job (which I would highly suggest you do) then the next best thing to do would be go to a hypnotist and have the hypnotist suggest that you "forget him emotionally". If you plan on working at that company, you have to somehow get into the "ignore" mode regarding him as that relationship is going nowhere too fast. I tried hypnosis to forget and get over a boyfriend many years ago and I can tell you it worked. It's like a smoking habit - it's something you have to get over. Circumstances like working in the same physical vacinity are certainly not condusive to your emotional and mental health at this point. It's hard to get another job right now, but I would start looking if I were you.

Fr_Chuck

sorry, first he is your boss, which makes things bad, but married makes it impossible. So I would say looking for another job is what is needed.

talaniman

Go get some help, so you can learn how to cope with your feelings, as this is a dead end street, that will cause you a lot of grief.

Homegirl 50

You two have played with fire and got burned. Get another job or get some help to cope with what you're feeling. In the meantime, stay away from him. No conversations, no moments alone.

Fashionista55

He'll just string you along. A man in that position will never leave his wife and family for his secretary. You should move on and get a new job, there are plenty opportunities out there.

joeoconnell2008

well if you follow on with it you are gonna tear his family apart.
so id suggest you leave the company and get over him.

Debbie41

get another job.

TrueFaith

Wrong on so many levles!

This guy is a moron and your a prat! for giving into him. you recking the kids lives and everyones. he will cheat on his wife no matter what.. be it with you. or with a dog whatever. seems like he is bored but well not much we can do abou that.


i would leave the job and i dont think you should be the girl that brakes a family up do you?

Regards

jamesnewo

God forbid that he leaves his wife and gets with you. Later he,ll do you the same thing. advice ==Drop the job and him like a "hot ptoato. Visit the doctor for a good STD test. then find a new boy friend and all will be well.