Over the last two weeks i have caught my GF in lies ...

I have asked her about a coworker that appeared on her myspace ... she acted funny and then said she didnt recognize the name or know who i was talking about

The we talked about a big weekend she had a month ago in a different city. She got so drunk with friends the night before that she didnt wake up/couldnt get up until 2 the next day. (She has told me about her past: she has had blackout sex with strangers a few times, so I think its understandalbe that i get uneasy when she does this out of town.)

So then she slipped up and said a guy was staying with her and her friend that weekend and that her friend who stayed with her that weekend has now broken up with her boyfriend. EVERY conversation we have had about that weekend she never once mentioned a guy or that her friend was shacking up with an ex. To me, this means shes hiding something.

Also, a few months before all of this, she got drunk at a bar with me and my friends and gave her nuber to a guy who was flirting with her. The next day she had no memory of it .. black out drunk yet again .. it was a kick to the balls to say the least.

And now that i have confronted her about her behavior, she tells me that she didnt want to worry me about that weekend out of town, and the guy on her myspace is a coworker she knows and works with ....

my question is why lie?

she has an excuse for everything. weve been dating for two years and live together. also, she seems to care about our relationship, but she makes it very clear she cares just as much about past relationships. to me, an ex is an ex. if its a longterm BF, i can understand that, but she hold on to guys (calls/emails) that she knew/had sex with for a month or two. she says that she cares that it botherers me, but says she wont do anything about it. *frustrating*

And now the lies. And Im thinking if i stumbled upon these lies, what else should i be concerned about? Im hating myself right now. I feel like such a fool. I know she has feelings for me, but i think we are two different people at htis point.

I wish i could find someone who wants, and deserves, my love ...

avalee

It sounds like she's pretty immature, and at the very least has a drinking problem. The main issue here, is that you do not trust this girl. Plain and simple. And it sounds as if you have good reason not to. Also, it sounds like she is dismissing your concerns, which is a big problem. Does it boost her ego to hold on to guys numbers, and to hold in high regard a past relationship? Sounds a little whack to me....I def think she has some issues. And she got drunk and gave her number to some guy? That sounds very high-schoolish....it doesn't sound to me that she is ready for a committed relationship. I would try talking to her about her drinking. I have a friend who blacks out and gets so drink she doesn't remember anything and gets out of control...you need to have a serious convo with her about this. if she still doesn't see that there is a problem, maybe it's time for you to re-evaluate this realtionship. Sounds like you already are....hope this helps. this is just my opinion......good luck, you sound like a nice guy who deserves better.

TrueFaith

First of all you sound like a really nice guy that has put up with a lot of crap from this chick. and i will call her this because she is not acting like a women or someone you should be in a realtionship with. my view is she isnt taking you very seriously and is having fun whenever she can. i mean your talking to people here from the outside so thats how it comes across.
You know you can have better than this man.


End it man before you find her having black out sex with some random dude or mr co worker.


BLACKOUT sex?? i really dont care how drunk you are. you know whats going on. and i can totaly understand why that makes you feel upset.

You should really talk to her and let her know how you feel and she needs to do something to change. because im sure if she has a problem with you she will try and change you.

my advice is talk to her. but i really wouldnt recomend being with anyone that can say oh i have blackout sex when im drunk. i mean.... i dont know that really is just awful to have hanging over you in a realtionship.

Keep Xs in the BAG as well is just wrong. so if anything happens with you she will jump back onto mr x or mr new guy this women sounds young and is stroking her ego having all these guys around her.

If i was you man and i found out all this i would have a very seirous talk about this. say ok its either me or your xs bercause you dont play 2nd best

There are better people for you out there.

This girl has pisst me off and i dont even know her!

good luck

the1unv

I agree with everyone else. You dont deserve to be treated this way. My biggest concern would be her having "black out sex' and then bringing an STD home to you. If you cant trust her......get out. The world is full of loving and respectful women......WITH MORALS too.
Mike

Fr_Chuck

First this is not a relastionship, well not a healthy one by any means.
So you are ok with her getting so drunk she just sleeps with anyone,

jamesnewo

don,t be a fool. totally forget her. move on. even if she,s as foxy as can be. forget her.

Homegirl 50

She is doing what you have allowed her to do all of this time. She obviously has a drinking problem. The question is "If you know all of this about her, why have you stayed and why are you asking about her telling lies to you?"
Get a grip on your life. Cut her lose and move on.

InSearchOfAnswers

we hit it off great, and then once we got serious she told me she lost her virginity to rape

and then she refused to stop talking to old f-buddies. i dont think she meets up with them, but she continues covert emails, etc ...

i even went as far as to go to a rape therapist myself to encourage her to join me

no dice

and fwiw, she doesnt currently have a drinking problem per se, she rarely drinks now, but when she does she really ties one on.

and she has such as good heart, but some of her thought processes seem a little warped top me. she seems to be religious about keeping everyone on the same level - me, old exes, whoever. noone takes priorty over another.

how is that fair to me? she cant see it

to make matters more complicated, she lives with me and she makes close to zero money. i moved far away from fam and friends to be here with her, and my job is really going great, but if we arent here together, it seems like a bad move on my part. and i dont know how the whole living situation will pan out ...

InSearchOfAnswers

that was in her past (i hope .. j/k) after her rape when she felt like sht about herself

InSearchOfAnswers

i have talked my head off about this. already told her i couldnt justify taking our relationship to the next level if she didnt lose the Xs ... she didnt budge

her excuse was that she didnt want to put undo pressure on me since i was inbetweeen jobs at the time