COOKIE MONSTER

theirs no way he'll put up with that,you will lose him,as if he's going to give you permission to go have sex with other people. you are going to hurt him not matter what or how you say it to him theirs noway of escaping it.i know your young and i understand were your coming from,but you cant do this without hurting him and i don't think he's going to sit about waiting for you either.

if you want to see other people break up with him and tell him you don't want the commitment and responsibility be honest with him

Alcmene

What you want is understandable, even though it's sad, but you can't have both him and freedom. Your choice. If you've already made it, then take your responsibilities and assume the fact that you're going to make him suffer.
I'm 18, my gf broke with me last week, after two years. She was my first, and we discovered everything about love together. I can tell you it hurts. Badly. And I can also tell you that I completely understood the fact that staying with her was sacrificing my student years, but I had made my choice.

I don't say that you should stay with him, it's up to you, and I can understand your opinion. But don't ask him to agree and let you go without pain, and face the fact that your decision is going to hurt him. Just be honest, and take your responsibilities. And don't ask him to be best friends. He'll want you more than anything as a gf, but he won't want you as an ex before some time has passed.

Good luck to both of you.

boredINmind

Best thing would be to explain it to him and hope he understands! That is all you really can do. Tell him you love him and don't want to hurt him, but you're going to fast too soon. You're young and have several years before you want to settle down. Try to be understanding if he's mad and hurt, but don't lead him along. If you want to break up, then do it, not any of that lets be friends and maybe we will get back together crap! That leads to SO may more problems then a CLEAN break would!

Alcmene

I, as her bf, wouldn't like to hear "I love you and I don't want to hurt you.". When you're getting dumped, you can't understand this. The only thing you hear is "I love you", and you keep on repeating that in your head, and you don't get what's happening. You can tell you care about him, but don't say you love him (IMHO…).

So true ! Don't try to make a plan for him not to suffer by taking distance slowly or whatever… That'll worsen everything, I can tell you, and if you really want him to suffer the less possible, be straight and honest about your decision. This he can understand, even if it hurts.

talaniman

Quote:

I don't wanna sacrafice the next 5 years just to be happy later in life....

Be as honest with him, as you have been with yourself, and let him know ASAP

gillhas

you might have to pick one or the other. you cant expect him to wait around for you to have fun and still be there. If you dont think its worth it right now then tell him. make shure it is the truth. he would deserve that much

Jiser

Sounds a bit like experiances I know of. Best if you break up, don't give him any false hope, tell him why and don't speak to each other again or for a long time. As far as iam concerned once Ive been dumped thats it, I don't speak to them again, so I would expect that if I was you.

You might care about him but I don't think you feel that strongly or you wouldnt be wanting to spread your wings and check if the grass is greener. You have been honest as you said above, so stop wasting each others time!

plonak

I really suggest you think about what you truly want before you do anything rash. look inside yourself.. obviously like everyone else has said.. you can't have both your freedom and your guy, it just doesn't work like that.

I say that you should think about it because you really could regret your decision and it might haunt you for a while, and your chance will be gone, and he will proly have moved on making another lucky girl happy... just like the hart song "listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.." seriously i know it's cheasy but... it's the truth.. good luck!

strawberrybee

I think you know your answer..you posted it yourself. You are not happy with him anymore! It's understandable and not selfish, if anything, you are saving yourself and him many more months of being in a relationship that you are not satisfied with. Listen to your thoughts. Proceed carefully.