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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   i lost him and we love each other, how do i get him back?

 
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Old Apr 20, 2008, 11:12 AM
dunnowhat
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i lost him and we love each other, how do i get him back?

ok well let me start by saying that i recently got dumped by my boyfriend of 7 months. we both love each other very very very much....we broke up cz i had done a mistake that wasnt a big deal,but it was the cherry on top of many many many mistakes.....hes my first serious relationship and i loved him from the bottom of my heart.... hes everything to me and he represents happiness....after we broke up ..i tried to get back with him and promised him that i will change and i really wanted to!! but 1 week ago there was this concert for david guetta taht i wanted to go to. i know he doesnt like me to go to concerts and stuff like that without him or alone cz there are too many guys alcohool drugs.... but stupid me,i went...so he sent me an sms saying that everythng was over cz i shldnt of been there...so at that night i was soo sad and i cldnt leave cz my bff wanted to stay there with her bff.so one of her friends , a guy, came and started dancing with me to make me feel better , but he started getting closer and closer and i was pushing him but he wldnt understand and i was soo weak cz i was soo sad so i danced with him but i was holding my tears so i started telling my bff to get him off me and finally she did so afetr that night i appologised to my ex and started begging for another chance, we were making a progress untill one day his friend shows him a video of me dancing with that guy so he got soo furious and now he doesnt want to talk to me , he blocked me on msn, removed me from facebook, doesnt answer my msgs or my phonecalss,and hes says tht he wldnt be with me even if i was the last girl on earth...and he started goin out with a girl, just once, but i know him and shes nt his type he trying to mke me jealous and he did...so help me to get him back!!

ps:he is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stubbornnnnnnnn!!

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Old Apr 23, 2008, 01:42 PM   #31  
dunnowhat
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Please trust me when I say this. He will take your lack of self confidence and use it to his advantage, and sooner than later, you will have alot less than you started out with! You MUST NOT feel guilty, or like you made a mistake because you went to a concert with friends, or had an innocent dance with another boy, or anything that you want to do!


you are absolutly right ..i have noticed that i have a big lack of confidence and my friends have been having bad influence on me... i was turning into a copy of themm..thats one of his reasons for braking up with me.... and i did in fact stop talking to them allthough they were the only people next to me when i was going through that drama..... so now i wanna focus on my frnds and have a nice life and most importantly get back my confidence
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Old Apr 23, 2008, 01:52 PM   #32  
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I wish you the very best young lady. Stay strong.
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Old Apr 23, 2008, 02:00 PM   #33  
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thank you a lot for helping me ...ur like the mom i never had:$ on internet:P
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Old Apr 23, 2008, 03:13 PM   #34  
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You're welcome dear one.
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Old Apr 23, 2008, 08:58 PM   #35  
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It is evident that you are very young. No adult should have to ask for permission to do things, as if you were a child. You should however be accountable for your actions. If you really loved this guy, you would not have danced with another, but respected and protected your relationship. Learn from this and move forward.
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Old Apr 23, 2008, 11:34 PM   #36  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FeelingBlue
It is evident that you are very young. No adult should have to ask for permission to do things, as if you were a child. You should however be accountable for your actions. If you really loved this guy, you would not have danced with another, but respected and protected your relationship. Learn from this and move forward.

May I please just say to you, that she is her own person. Her boyfriend was completely disrespecting her to begin with. If she wants to go out with her friends, she should go out with her friends. If her boyfriend had respect for her, he would trust her, unless there were previous reason for him not to.

From what I read, she "danced" with another boy, and didn't feel comfortable when the boy made advances that she didn't feel comfortable with, and called her friends in for back up.

She doesn't "belong" to her 'boyfriend'! She didn't cross any boundaries as far as "respecting or protecting" their relationship. However, her boyfriend has, by her feeling like she has to ask for "permission" and being made to feel guilty for just going out for an evening. It really didn't sound to me like she was trying to "pick up" this other boy.

Trust and respect is a two way street is what I'm saying.

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talaniman agrees: Thank you! How can anyone condone that kind of controlling behavior?
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Old Apr 25, 2008, 03:00 PM   #37  
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yeah there are some previous reasons preventing him from trusting me cz i had lied to him many times...but abt small issues .....
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Old Apr 25, 2008, 04:03 PM   #38  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dunnowhat


dumped by my boyfriend

we both love each other very very very much....

we broke up cz i had done a mistake that wasnt a big deal

hes my first serious relationship

i loved him from the bottom of my heart.... hes everything to me and he represents happiness....

after we broke up ..i tried to get back with him and promised him that i will change and i really wanted to!!

i know he doesnt like me to go to concerts and stuff like that without him or alone cz there are too many guys alcohool drugs.... but stupid me,

i was soo weak cz i was soo sad

started telling my bff to get him off me and finally she did

i appologised to my ex and started begging for another chance

he got soo furious and now he doesnt want to talk to me , he blocked me on msn, removed me from facebook, doesnt answer my msgs or my phonecalss,and hes says tht he wldnt be with me even if i was the last girl on earth

he trying to mke me jealous and he did...so help me to get him back!!

ps:he is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stubbornnnnnnnn!!

Honey, I picked out some quotes from what you originally wrote. I didn't do it to be judgemental or harsh. You really need to sit down and consider the advice given by everyone that are truly trying to help you. Some of these people aren't just telling you these things because they pulled it out of their A$$,...if you know what I mean . We know from experience and are trying to prevent you from being hurt.

He dumped you!! You should NEVER beg anyone to take you back!! I understand that you said that you lied to him. I don't know what the lie was, or how bad it was, but I get the feeling it wasn't anything life altering.

If you learn how to communicate and how to appologize for lapses in judgement, then someone that actually LOVES YOU, will sit down and listen to what you have to say...at the very least.

Love isn't controlling!! Love isn't having to beg someone to be with you! That just ISN'T what love is.

I know you're young and you think right now that you "love love love" him...but "real love" isn't just a "feeling". That 'feeling' is called "infatuation". "Real love", and "real relationships" require alot of hard work.

Don't sweat the small stuff girl. You will have many other "loves" before you find the real one. Just think about it for awhile. Hold your head up high, and don't let anyone make decisions for you, or make you feel any less than you are.

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friend4u178 agrees: Very good advice...........nice work starby!!
talaniman agrees: Nice heart felt appeal to good sense.
Homegirl 50 agrees: Good advice
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Old Apr 25, 2008, 06:50 PM   #39  
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Starby, I had to spread the rep. Wow, that's all I can say, your answer was great.

It's hard being young, it's hard having all these feelings and all these confusions and not knowing what to do with them. We've all been there, that's why we're giving you the advice we're giving.

Honey trust me, trust Starby, trust all of us older people, life really hasn't changed that much since we were young, we've all been there and we survived, we're just trying to make it easier on you. Learning from your mistakes is a good thing, but not all mistakes have to be made in order to learn. In this case, learn from our experiences and our mistakes, we aren't giving you this advice because we're "adults" but because we've been there and done that and been hurt, you don't need to go there too, learn from our mistakes.

I wish you all the best. Trust us, leave this guy where he is, out of the picture. You will meet someone that is worthy of you, you really will, then you will know, without a doubt, what true love really is. Really, I'm not lying to you my dear, it will happen, just wait and you will see.
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Old Apr 25, 2008, 09:56 PM   #40  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dunnowhat
yeah there are some previous reasons preventing him from trusting me cz i had lied to him many times...but abt small issues .....
As I said earlier, anytime you're in a relationship and you find yourself apologizing or lying about small things constantly, that is a sure sign there is something wrong in the relationship and it does not necessarily mean it is all you. This guy was manipulating you, making you think you were always doing something you should be apologizing for. Lyig to please him or stay on his good side. How old is he?
I'll bet he was no where near as accommodating to you as he expected you to be to him.
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