I've been with my b/f for over 6 years. About 2 years ago I moved to another state with him to try to make things work better for us, financially & personal. He lost a very lucrative job about a year ago (the co. closed down) which paid for a house we both are on mtg & he also paid for another house we both live in but he is the only one on that mtg. I left my job about 3 years ago to work with him but it hasn't worked out. We've tried different things but we just can't seem to work together. For the past year he's tried different companies but has yet to make get a paycheck. We have maxed our cc's & practically have no savings. I want to move back to my home town because I feel the job market is a little better than where we're living. My dilemma is; he started with a new co. a few weeks ago, but I still feel even if it works out he'll never (at least not any time soon) make the same amount he made before, thus we'll continue to struggle to make ends meet. At this point, we're about to lose both houses. My cc was very good (in the 700's) but now is horrible. I've never been in this predicament before, & it's driving me crazy. I had a job, savings, good credit & now I feel I have nothing; we don't have much of a relationship anymore either. I feel we talk basically only about business. We've gone through our ups & downs before but it has always been just personal & we were able to make it through but now is our finances on top of our personal problems. Should I start fresh & hope that when he sees this job doesn't work out he'll follow me... then again, what if it does work out? I've been trying to be supportive all this time but at this point I don't know if it's worth sticking around any longer... I don't want to lose him but I don't want to lose my sanity either...

You can either make an agreement with him to be a co owner on one of the houses since he is going to lose them anyway. That you live in one and make the payments like rent to own with an agreement that states that. You would have to check with a lawyer to make sure you do something like that the right legal way.

Or you cut your losses and chalk it up to you would have been paying rent and utilities somewhere else without him.

You seem more upset about the money right now than the fact about your relationship going sour. What would you have done had you married him? Would you have ditched him or stuck by him? Having bought a house together and not being married was a very iffy thing to do. Never a good idea to buy a home or invest your money like that if you are not married as chances are if the home was forced to be sold you would not recoup your original investment on the home.

I just want to get a job & feel in my home town I could get a better paying job as well as my b/f. Unfortunately, at this point neither of us is able to afford the mtg pymts, they're about 5k. I've been trying to be supportive but after a year of not making a paycheck I guess I'm losing confidence. I feel we should just start from scratch in my home town. Yes, the finances have put a major burden on us & maybe because I've never been in this predicament, it's hard for me to cope with it. Don't know how to handle it.

You need some sound financial advice, together. At least then you can make a decision based on facts.

For sure if you have any regard for the relationship, you should work together, but if your as determined to leave, as he is to stay, you still must talk to an expert in finances, to see how the assets will be split, and who is responsible for what.

Sad though that your ready to give up, and not regroup. With the change in finances, and the economy as it is, something has to change, and dealing with debt is about where you start.

Good Luck!

Thank you for your advice. We did speak about seeing a financial advisor. I don't want to give up on 'our' relationship... but rather give up on the state we live in. I feel we'll have a better chance of finding a better job in my home town. At this point I'm not concerned about any assets but rather finding a 'paying' job & just start over again. I must admit, we 'clashed' again today & we were ready to split up. We both said some ugly words & I don't know if I can deal with this situation any longer... I'm just so drained. I'm still here though but confused about what I should do besides seeing a financial advisor...