I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years and I love her, but after a hard days work I want to rest my head on my pillow and feel the warmth of my lover next to me and she isnt there because she goes to school too many miles away. Im in a commited relationship, but I was as lonely as i have ever been. So I hit on a girl a couple of months ago and i got her number. It was supposed to be a fling, but it became more...for the first time in a long time i wasnt lonely. But now my gf and i are moving in together and im scared because i have fallin in love with my mistress and dont know who to choose... old love or new love...they both have pluses and minuses, but i feel like a better me when im with my mistress. should i give my current gf a shot with day to day life or not even risk losing my new girl? it's one or the other i wont string them both along for much longer.....HELP ME!! please...
I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years and I love her
Once again, if it were true, well, you wouldn't have cheated.
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she isnt there because she goes to school too many miles away
Is that her fault? She's getting an education, making something of herself. If you can't keep your pants zipped because she's too far away, then what makes you think you can when she's right beside you?
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i feel like a better me when im with my mistress
No one but you can make you better.
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should i give my current gf a shot with day to day life or not even risk losing my new girl?
Give her a shot? She's giving you a shot. You're the one who cheated.
Okay, my advice, easy, tell your girlfriend you cheated, I'm willing to bet she'll make the choice for you.
Tell your orig'l gf the truth. Since you are not equipped or willing to put in the necessary effort to maintain a true committed relationship, it's unlikely you will be able to properly salvage that union & you'll likely end up with the one that you're cheating with at least for a while. That will solve your immediate problems as you see it since she may decide you're not worth the effort to stay with. In reality, you're unsuited for any relationship with your current outlook & attitudes.
Does the gf you've been using to keep you from being lonely know about your long distance gf or have you been lying to her too?
Your orig'l gf deserves much better & the sooner she realizes that, the better for all. The least you can do is let her know what you've been doing, if you truly care about her at all before she wastes any more of her life counting on someone to be there for her that can't handle honestly a commitment they voluntarily got into.
I am completely agreed with 'Altenweg'. Excellent answer. Bro! you need to choose one...this is your lust that is driving you crazy for both. You dont love either of them. Make your choice today and learn to love not lust...
May I get an adult's answer ...im tired of children speaking at the big boys table
Not a surprising response from you. Being childish instead of handling relationships in a responsible, LOVING, HONEST way is why you are in the position you are in.
Pouting at the responses you're getting pointing out the obvious that you are at this point a lying cheater, is only confiirming further why you're unsuitable as a partner for anyone for now. If you don't get some help in working out your issues, your chances for being a good partner to anyone worthwhile will stay nill.
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Long relationship drives me to cheat
As much as you would love to believe that is true, it's just the lie you are telling yourself to justify a crappy choice on your part. No one & nothing drove you to cheat, it's just the crappy selfish choice you made for yourself because you wanted to & could get away with it. Acknowledging that would be the first step you need to take. Telling your gf the whole unvarnished truth is the second.
May I get an adult's answer ...im tired of children speaking at the big boys table
Your not going to get people on here condoning what you are doing if thats what you thought. People on here will tell you what you should do and not what you want to hear to justify your actions.
You asked a question and have so far got HONEST answers.
Sometimes you can't help how you feel , BUT you can decide on the actions you take.
So apparently everyone on this thing is perfect and never made a decision that made things worse....im not asking for judgement im asking for advice...hence i want an adult answer.
yeah sure im a cheating douche bag that should go to hell, but that isnt my dilemma. so please someone with some experience in this situation please give me some good advice and dont judge my actions.
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