hi everyone i'm new here and i want immediately some answers...i was in a relationship with this girl back home for 1,5 years.we loved each other but sometimes cause i was jealous i made her cry and she didnt know what to do..she loved a lot and i loved her too.
this year i came to uk for studies..at first we didnt speak very good to each other ans suddenly she told me she wanted a break to our relationship to leave her some space to think..but cause i loved her i didnt want to leave her alone thats the problem and she was speakink awaful to me..one week ago she told me she met a guy and that they talk very friendly..and because i was jealous i was saying but things to her and as a result she told me not to call her again..she tells me that she loves me but its difficult for her the distance and that i am jealous and she said that she wont do anything with the other guy and want me to leave her alone...its been one week i dont eat,i cry a lot and dont know what to do..she called me today to see how am i but she said to me she doesnt want to be together she likes her life now that shes alone
my questions are why shes saying that she loves me and doesnt want to be with me...
what if i give her some space and then falls in love with the other guy..i dont know what to think anymore
please help me tell me what to do..i love her

Whats_Love_Gottodo_withit

I know how you feel, cause I`m a very jealous person in a relationship too.... But you have to learn to LET GO a bit. If you love her, then why are you strangeling her? She probably does love you, but your jealousy destroyed it. And by being jealous, you indirectly tell her that she can`t be trusted, and that`s not nice of her to hear from you... You have to let go, and tell her that you respect her decision and you just want her to be happy... Tell her that you can understand why she can`t be with you, because you have a jealousy problem, but you just love her too much so it`s difficult for you to control yourself sometimes..

And if it`s meant to be, u`ll be together again.

Do you know that if you`re too jealous and controlling, you can actually drive your lover to cheat on you? That`s a fact, so take control of your emotions before both of you gets really hurt, if it`s not too late already...

Wish you the best of luck, try to eat something, and I promise you that you`ll be all right.
Take care. xxx.

wackymb

Hi, I wanted to tell you that you should give her space. She is probally hurting just as much as you are and just doesn't want to show it. You need to learn to control your jealousy. I'm the same way over my husband and he calls me paranoid. It will drive them away. We almost split up cause of it. You can't force anyone to be with you or do what you want. You know that saying, If you really love someone sometimes you just have to let go. I know it hurts but, if it's meant to be, it will happen. Give her space and time. Don't show her that you are hurt. If you act like it doesn't, it will probally get her thinking that she didn't do the right thing. And if it doesn't happen, you will find someone else. It may not seem likely now but, it will happen. Hope everything turns out for you. But, don't starve yourself over this.

lmnotok

hey i have a question: if you guys carry on, then will you be together (i mean side by side not LDR)? ANd if so, when can i happen?

Since if you guys dont have a clear plan about when to come together then things just simply fade away...

statesgirl

showing her how jealous you are, makes her feel like you do not trust her at all. When my LD boyfriend did this to me, it really hurt and i felt i cant do anything or have any opinions, i'm just trapped under his rules. We actually broke up for a bit. We are together now again though. I know when she says oh i met a guy (just friend) About 2 million bad thought go through your head. But you cant freak out at her. If you keep a Good relationship, she wont want to cheat or anything she will be so excited to see you again, that she wont wanna cheat. Have a good talk with her and say i know i have been acting really jealous lately and i'm sorry i am just finding this LDR really hard. I will try to work harder at keeping those emotions in because im sure you feel them to ,you just dont tell me. Something like that hehee, showing her you are taking responsability will make a differance.

Homegirl 50

She is saying that she loves you but is not happy with you. You're jealous sometimes not very nice and you're not there. She does not want to be in a relationship like that.
The best thing for you to do is o respect her wishes and leave her alone.

Baby-_-Girl-_-19

It sounds funny but i think your fear of losing her is what has been driving her her away. You're not alone...I've done the same thing. The first thing is dont worry about this other guy, because if you do you're going to make yourself sick over something you cant control. The second is to take a step back give her some space. If you just simply cannot leave her completly alone settle for a simple Email...assuming its ok with her. While you're taking a step back try to see things from her persepective.

And as for her saying that she loves you she just doesnt want to be with you...i can think of a couple of things first of all being the hard truth that she does love you shes just not in love with you OR theres that She like doesnt want to have to worry about everything she does that she loves you she just cant handle the jealousy thing then again it could simply be that being away from each other and fighting so much is just wearing her down....

Just give it some time...either way....things will work out how they're suppose to

Good Luck!

adwnis

thanx for your answer but i will ask u something.she says that she loves me ok what if i give her this space that she wants and then starts to like the other guy what will happen then?i will lose her

when we spoke to the phone 2-3 days ago i told her i respect her dicision but i wont be there expecting her to come back and she told me she loves me.how can i understand if she has sth with the other guy but she doesnt want to lose me also??

Homegirl 50

You may very well lose her. This does not sound like a healthy relationship and moving on may be the best thing for both of you.

Matteus

Really? Since when Jealousy is love?

Listen guy, or whatever you are. I was in your shoes a couple of months ago. 6 exactly. from the way i will talk, you will see the difference and my improvements. call me crazy if you want, arrogant, whatever. And if im talking harsh to you, that means i have learned something, and im talking like to myself. I was the most freaking person in the world, crazy, fu.cking stupid, i did everything what someone completely idiot and a controller can do with the life of someone else. The end? I lost my ex. Reason? Jealosy. Controlling. Manipulative. Insecurity. Co-dependency. I was the hell in her life. Yes, i hate myself!!! But i hate you too. Why? cause you remember myself. I didnt understood i was controlling her. The break was a way to put some light on my behaviour. Look at me now. A lot of therapy. Consults. Everything. Why? Because of me. Im not going to win her back again. I dont want her. I want myself back. Do you get my point? No? Look at my quote below.