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To live together or not?

Asked Apr 2, 2012, 07:15 PM — 4 Answers
Hey.. Okay so I've been dating this guy long distance for about 6 months. Since we started dating, I've been down to visit him 3 times, and he's been up to see me once. I'm planning on moving down to be with him after graduation in may. We have plans to get an apartment together, because it will save both of us money....and it just seems like the smart thing to do since I don't really have anywhere else to live. I love him and he loves me...we have a happy relationship. But I'm worried that it may be a bad idea. How do you know if you're ready to live with someone?

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Alty's Avatar
Alty Posts: 22,619, Reputation: 26655
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#2

Apr 2, 2012, 07:19 PM
Quote:
We have plans to get an apartment together, because it will save both of us money....and it just seems like the smart thing to do since I don't really have anywhere else to live.
This part of your post, and the fact that you asked this question to begin with, says it all.

You may be in love, and I'm not questioning that, but there's more to living with someone than saving money, and the fact that you have nowhere else to go.
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Fr_Chuck's Avatar
Fr_Chuck Posts: 72,607, Reputation: 37026
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#3

Apr 2, 2012, 07:27 PM


The issue is, you have not been with him much, You know him from his best behavior on short visits, not every day life. It will take a lot of work and I would suggest that you understand the problems that will happen after you are together, every day, every night all week, after week.
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jaffeyjoeblaze's Avatar
jaffeyjoeblaze Posts: 157, Reputation: 79
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#4

Apr 2, 2012, 10:37 PM
You 2 have hardly seen each other long distance, so what makes you think it will work if you move in together.....a word of advice....it took me 3 years of a ld relationship and i decided i wasnt ready to move in together....so you need to figure out if this is right for both of you...it has to be for more than saving money....I would suggest moving into separate places and building a foundation for the relationship.
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J_9's Avatar
J_9 Posts: 37,059, Reputation: 25665
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#5

Apr 2, 2012, 11:15 PM


Too early in the relationship to think that living together will work out. Yes, you have known him for 6 months long distance, but you've only visited 4 times in total. Moving in together is a disaster waiting to happen.

As much as you may think you do, you both barely know each other. Does he sleep on the right side of the bed or the left? How about you? Does he put the toilet seat down, put the cap on the toothpaste? Do you?

These may sound like totally insignificant things, but sometimes they actually make or break a relationship. You need to take time to get to know him on a personal, real life, level before moving in together.
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