my gf cheated on me and broke off with me but i want her back

flyinghigh09 · #1 Mar 23, 2008, 01:29 AM

my gf of 2and a half years broke off with me after she cheated on me.
let me share with how we started together first. i met her 2 and a half years back on my cousins birthday in India. Though we are both from the same town in another country. She was in her final year of university and i was working in a call centre.

When i met her, She had broked up with her ex bf n she hated him as he cheated on her several times. When i met her she was still missing her first bf and was confused. Some how we clicked and were very steady. She was in her final year of university and i was working in a call centre. After 5 months we started living together in a new rented place together with my elder brother and a friend of mine. We were happy and shared our dreams and future plans. we were very committed. She finished her college but could not complete her degree. and she always wanted to become an airhostess. That became my dream too. 6 months back she got a job in a gulf country and had to relocate there. I was fine with it because i always thought we would be together. we were in touch every now and then over phone or messenger. she wanted me to come there and work with her. But i was not sure then. but somehow i decieded to try if there were any interviews for the same post. i had some financial problems back then and she was helping me out with cash as she insisted.3 months back she had a flight to india and wanted me to visit her. as she was flyin to another city i was not sure if i would be able to make it bcoz of work and time. i told her no. then i had to goto another city for 2 months and the contact was less. but everytime she called me she said she loved me. i have my mistakes too as i was not able to give her a serious committment. i used to tell her i didnot know where i would be in the next 2 years time. last 3 months she sounded cold on the phone. 2 days before valentine's she called me and said i love you baby and on valentines day there was no call or message. she said she lost her mobile and got her new mobile no from her room mate. Later i called her up and asked her to come online. i had her email password and there i saw the message from a guy who had written a valentines message addressing her as baby.and the first line said i lit a candle in our name. i called her immediately and asked her if she slept with him. she said yes and i abused her and broke off with her. later after 2 days i messaged her n pleaded her to get back with me. She called me after a day and said she was sorry and would be committed to me. i had a train back to india the next day. That nite i was in touch with her but could not reach her phone after few hours. she cheated on me again. i forgave her and wanted to get her back. She said she needed time. and would like to think about it ..ever since i have been calling her everynow and then and asking her for a chance. i even met her recently as she had a flight to another city in india. She coldly said she needed time to think about it. i had already told her that i would be coming to her city and work there just to be with her. she said once i was there it maybe it would b fine. but now she says she is happy with the other guy and that she does not love me anymore. but she just cares for me. i was so frustrated with this. i lost my temper and abused her.She has a step father and her first father died because of the grief of loosing her mother. She had her own reasons for leavin him thouhg. i told her not to follow her mothers footsteps and not to kill me like her first father. Then she lost her temper too and abused me and my cousin. i wished her luck with her new love and she hung up the phone. That was a day ago. i dont plan to call her again. but my bday is in the next 5 days. i m hoping she would wish me cos. ive helped her a lot and she used to say that i am a very nice guy and that she cared for me even after all this.
i still love her and want her back. i will be goin to her city in about 35 days time.as the visa is taking time and i need to get a job too. The only advantage i have is that her own brother whom she loves me supports me and wants to see us together. And the new guy she is seeing is from a different country which surely means they dont ve a future together as she plans to settle down in her own hometown later on n there is no way he can settle there but he is doing much better in terms of his job n finance. She is 24 and im 23.

people help me ...what should i do? help me out. and what would my ex do if she knew i had come to her city for her. will she freak out or will she consider me back again.

COOKIE MONSTER · Mar 23, 2008, 06:28 AM

get over it hun shes with another guy you need to move on by starting with the no contact rule no texes no emails no meeting up no nothing,she cheated on you and you took her back well arnt you daft you basically gave her permission to doit again because she new you would take her back.she doesnt want to be with you she has told you she is happy with the new guy in her life i surgest you move on and focus on yourself your 23 and sound to me as you could have abit of aproblem , GOING INTO HER EMAIL ACCOUNT BECAUSE YOU NO THE PASSWORD WHATS THAT ABOUT,thats just wrong,you need to get yourself sorted out before you think about another relationship.

this girl cheated on you why are you running after her by moving countrys she will not consider taking you back

Stunning07 · Mar 23, 2008, 07:27 AM

Start NC it takes time.. Time will heal... its hard very hard very tough... but you need to understand and accept change... change is good.. stay busy.. and with family.. friends... listen to your brain not your heart... your heart always tends to reject the facts... when it comes to situations like this.. listen to everyone on this site.. delete her off everything... "out of mind, is out sight" good luck.. I'm going through my first heart ache also.. but its getting better..

flyinghigh09 · Mar 24, 2008, 12:25 AM

Thanks a lot guys!

flyinghigh09 · Apr 11, 2008, 08:33 AM

Need help again....guys...i had helped my ex a lot especially when she had an operation and a job interview...There was a lot of complications.....After she got the job ...she helped me too with money around ..2000 dollars....i want to pay her back and asked her for her account or address to send a portion of it by money transfer but she asked me not to be mean..i told her..to forget about what ever we had done for each other in past and that i wanted to pay her back cos its her money and i needed to do this to be happy but ..she flatly refused..she said she would feel guilty..as you know she is in a different country now..what should i do? oh...yeah a friend of mine who works with her is coming home so i was thinking of sending it through him..Any suggestions.... i really want to pay her back..what does she mean by saying feel guilty?



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