ok so Pete split up with me on Sunday, says he does not love me anymore. there was no warning signs and everything was fine until saturday evening.

I went away for the night on a hen do. I phoned him that night and he could not get me off the phone quick enough.

I did not hear from him all day Sunday, I text him in the end and after a huge delay he responded and asked me to pop round - thats when he told me.

I ws in total bits.

To make matters worse I found out on the Monday after that I am pregnant, I have told him; but he is all over the place and giving me mixed signals as to how he feels about me.- I don't know what to do?!
Please Help me.

31pumpkin

DJ 'H' -

I have to say I have daughters your age. If I were you I would sit it out a while with your BF.
Let him make up his own mind on his own. At your age, I would think you could rely on your family for assistance.
One thing I think of is that if you have an abortion with this man's baby, is that you might never want to get together with him in the future anyway after that.
Have a heart for yourself & the baby now & just start planning what YOU want for real.

Chery

Oh, Lordy,, DJ - you have so much on your plate right now. I wish I could tell you all will be OK, but that's not reality.

With the stress of the relationship with your Mom, and now with Pete, I sure hope that you have the support of friends and other family members to help you through this period.

As for advice, I don't know what to tell you except, that men will come and go, as well as their feelings. But, a baby is something else. Since you've also had a previous abortion, you might really want to do a full systems check with your wants, needs, and emotions.

Babies usually are not really planned, and those that are, usually have Moms that live on a schedule and they even manage to 'schedule' time and feelings for their children. I don't think this is the right way to raise a child - as part of a scheduled event in your life.

So, what I'm really trying to convey to you is, that I would keep that baby and tell the father he's either going to be part of it, or he's not - so what. In today's society, men will eventually come to realize that their offspring are more important than they are if mankind is to survive, and then they will want to have those 'roots'. It takes time for them to realize this, but they will.

Whatever your choice in this matter, I hope that all will be well for you. I really wish I could be there to give you so much moral support and affection to help you make your choice. I raised my daughter alone and my daughter will probably go through the same - but my child never missed out on love, and neither will my grandchild. We call 'it' Peanut right now and I think that name is so cute!. She does not want to know what its sex is yet - she wants to be surprised. No need to say that it's going to be hard, but I will do the best I can to help her. I certainly wish and hope that your mother will also help you as much as she can, once she realizes the turmoil you are in, her problems will become minor to her. Also hope that your step-dad will be there for you.

Bless you, dear and please keep us posted. Don't forget, we will be here for you, if it helps you - and I certainly hope it does.

Lots of love and hugs!!!

Chery

Gather all the strength, love, and support you can from loved ones... you deserve it!

Wish I could be there to comfort you.

valinors_sorrow

I wish I could stretch out my arms in a cyber hug and that you would find shelter from the storm, if only for a little while.

The best advice I have seen here is about slowing down, time to think, time to let emotions ease off a bit, time to let the clearer path reveal itself for you.

An amazing thing is when I experience times like "when rains it pours", those tend to turn out the best for me in the long run. I learn alot, make new and different decision then and my life changes almost always for the good.

You are most definately one who is up for learning. Just slow down a little, okay?

talaniman

I agree with Val ,you've had a lot on your plate lately and slowing down to let the dust settle sounds like a good idea! Let Pete catch his breath and get his thoughts around what is a life changing event in his life!

Krs

Hi DJ H, Im so so sorry to hear all of this, and im also shocked towards petes actions.

Before u take any drastic decissions about the pregnancy i think you need to sit with pete and talk this through properly. Even if he says he dont love u anymore he must surely still deeply care for u, and the baby ur carryin which is his.

You know how tough abortion is, do u really wanna go through it again?

I wish i could do more for u, but im here if u need me.

Take care hugs and kisses xxxx

s_cianci

Have you talked with him honestly and upfront as to why the sudden change of heart? Something's not adding up here ; the two of you seemed to be doing so great then he abruptly turns off the switch. Now there's a child involved which complicates things greatly. I think communication is the only key here. Don't blame or accuse but be honest and forthright.

Skell

hi,
sorry for my ignorance but i havent been on here long but love reading all the posts and trying my best to be part of the support network. it helps me so much.
but am i right in my understanding that you live next door to pete?? this must be really hard for you right now. knowing the man you love is so close yet so far. could it be beneficial for you to get away for a while?? go on a little break if possible. i feel for you. from reading your past posts everything seemed so good for you. it seems such a dramatic change. hopefully it works out for you.

CaptainForest

Sorry to hear about this Holly,

As you said, perhaps something is wrong.

I remember reading a while back that he got freaked out over a surprise birthday you and his mates threw for him.

Perhaps something has happened to him. Maybe you could try talking to him again?

Re: The baby. Hold off for a bit and see what happens with Pete. You can always get an abortion in a few months.

DJ 'H'

I don't contact him at all. He contacts me.

DJ 'H'

You are right, everything you have said is what I am trying to do and what I also think. Nothing adds up; however when I tried to talk to him, he just got defensive and angry! - so what can I do? I cannot force him to tell me?!