Alright, my girlfriend was looking at her facebook on my computer, she saw that she had a new message... and i asked her who it ws from, she replied with "oh, i dont look at those messages" and quickly closed the window. I got on my computer right after and went on her facebook while she was sitting in my room and saw these messages below...

Guy: wusup baby haha...im surprised u rememberd me...how u been?

Girlfriend: yes i remember you! Actually i was looking at Robby's pictures n i saw you so i added you... lol sorry if thats kinda akward... but im good how about you?

Guy: im real good...wasnt dat ya boys house, when we met?

Girlfriend: yep that was my boyfriends house where we met.

Guy: u still wit him?

Girlfriend: yeah... but that shouldnt matter to you right? i mean i see
your in a relationship yourself?

Guy: yeah...so we on da same level...do u remember wut could have happened dat nite wit me and u?

Girlfriend: of course i remember.. that was a good night something would have def happened if the situation had been any different! who knows... maybe something will happen in the future.

Guy: haha when am i gonna c u again babe?


Now... right after i completely flipped out on her and kicked her out of my room, after i punched a hole in my wall. She was crying, hyperventalating, and throwing up... at which time i broke down and let her back in my room and let her sleep on my futon. When i woke up the next morning i let her give the explination that i would not listen to the night before. She said that it was nothing, she was just being polite at first and responding to his messages, but then she got curious as to what he would say and that she absolutely had no intentions of cheating on me. I found this sooo hard to believe, but at the same time... i trusted her ver much because our relationship has been through so much, and never once did i have any suspisions of her. She also says that if i break up with her she would kill herself, she cant live w/o me, im the only one she has in the world, etc. Well i told her i did not want to see her right now and to go home. I told her this repedly and she kept begging me to stay. Eventually i grew tired of this, so i told her everything was fine, i forgive her and we will have to talk about it some more... but i trust her. Well, i told her we would go watch the steeler game at her house so we drove over (half hour away) she went in the bathroom, and i left without saying anything. On my way home she called me balling saying the usual things, how much she loved me, the messages where nothing and she is coming down. I told her not to, and a few hours later she showed up and i ended up forgiving her and spending the night with her like i knew i would if she showed up. My question is, what should i do about this? I love her, and i know she loves me.. but i find my self being just disgusted by this behavior, and not trusting her like i used to... i really need help in deciding if i should break it off or not... i do not want to regret staying in this relationship, but at the same time i do love her... what should i DO?

talaniman

She is unstable and Iwould worry about anyone who threatens suicide to get what they want. This is not healthy, and as long as you go along with it I don't think it will get better. The love you have is a questionable under these circumstances and you need to decide stay or go. You are disgusted and have trust issues so why besides love are you staying?

Firefox555

I do love her and want the best for her... and i may have said commit suicide in the wrong way, she said she couldnt live without me and she would want to die... that being said yes she dose have issues and i guess thats why i feel responsible for her, because i have helped her surpass much of them, i.e low self esteem, family problems, death of her aunt (probably closest person in the world to her) for which i was even a pallbearer at the funeral. After which she said she had no one, and i replied with "you will always have me..." The only reason for me to stay now i guess is for love. I guess my question now is, given the information provided do you think she had any intentions with this guy... or just seeking attention and would have left it at that?? I have made it perfectly clear to her that i do not tolerate any form of cheating, and if she had intentions to further it, i consider this cheeting. I just caught her before the act could occur.

blondieinCAN

I totally feel like she's like me. Sounds totally and completly honest. you can tell at first she's just being honest, and she was pushing him to see if he liked her in the end. makes sense because shes insecure about herself and wants love. thats all it is. with love from you, and forgivness this girl will never look at another guy. It seems!! One thing i wonder though is it sounds like she added him.... why did she even continue contact at all? It could have been just to see what he'd do. Ask her if she's willing to commit to being loyal during your guys' relationship. Of course shell say yes, but then you can always call her on it. But id suggest you ask her to stop contacting him now that shes had "closure" if it was a new friend, no need to be friends anymore... if shes willing to show you her trust.

Skell

I disagree. I think she is lying and she doesnt deserve his trust.

i stand by my advice in your other thread with the same post!

Skell

which is here.

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...her-41146.html

there is no need to for two threads Firefox. you will get lots of replies over the course of a day or two which i am sure will offer some sound advice!

Gazzy

I would have to say do not split up with her man... Talk to her in a calm conversation... Ask her what she meant by the conversation.

If you love her, you don't want to split up with her, you want to find out whats on her mind, don't put too much pressure on her though. Don't interupt her, let her talk, don't accuse her of things that you have no proof over aswell.

Eddie007

My friend, you are walking on a thin line here. I understand you love her, but you GOTTA make sure she knows how serious you are about this whole thing. Ask her not to explain anything to you anymore about this incident because either way she will just be defensive. Give her time to prove to you she loves you. Dont show any love now, don't be deeply romantic with her untill she really proves she is trying to be with you and only you. You also tell her your plan how you will be behaving and you have no controle over it untill you feel confortable once again of trusting her. Once she knows this, she will either work so hard to bring you back or will give up quick. Either way you will get your answer for sure, rather than live your life with her not knowing if she's into you 100% or not.

Good luck.

talaniman

There is something about your reaction to going thru her computer that sends red flags out. Also here begging and pleading and you relenting sets uneasy with me. I suspect you have a few issues to deal with and when you demand others to toe the line you should make the same demands on yourself. This relationship shows no communication or balance as I see it and indicates a lot of work to be done by both of you. If you cannot work together and are clinging on each other just to have someone then I would really think about this love the two of you think you have. If you are to salvage this relationship then please give thought to honestly talking and putting more balance into your lives.

kp2171

you cant trust her (the possible other guy) and she cant trust you (you going through HER stuff).

this will end. probably badly.