Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2

Lies..lies..lies..

Asked Aug 16, 2006, 01:12 PM — 14 Answers
I Have Been Married 5ys Now (together Scents 1995) We Are In The Early 30's And Have 3 Kids.(one Mine 2 Ours) There Are Many Problems In Our Relationship...mainly He Lies! I'm Talking Lies To Lie. No Matter He Just Lies. Often I Think he's Doing It To Bother Me, But At Other Times Its The First Thing That Pops Into His Head. Like..."is The Sky Blue?" Hell Say "do What Now?" Before He Answers Any Question.. And At This Point I've Quite Repeating The Question, Pause And Hell Reply "no" Ill Then Say "yes It Is!" Hell Then Say "well there's More White Clouds Than Any Thing." Things Like That.covering Up Trying To Make His Answer Not A Lie. Most Of The Time He Does It Knowing That I Know he's lying And He Still Does It. Sometimes Its Just A Total Lie, Like "no I didn't Eat Lunch Today At All" And I'm Holding A Reciept! Just Blatenly Lie. Bottom Line Is he's A Liar.(habitual Lier?) I've Brought This Up To Him Many Many Times To No Avail... On Several Occasions he's Come To Me And Said"i Know 95% Of Our Problem Is Me lying To You, I Do It Because I'm Afraid Of Your Response...I'm Sorry I won't Do It Again...blah..blah.." Yes I'm Not Saying That Sometimes My Response Is In Fact Not Anger, He Does Some Stupid Stuff. But This Is Silly Hugh? I'm Over It I've Told Him I'm Over It. Its Reciently Become Clear Between Us That When Our Youngest (8mo) Is Old Enough To Feed Himself And Is Potty Trained, Its Over. (now that's A Whole Nother Story,I wasn't Able To Get Pregnant Or So The Dr Said It Took 4yrs But I Did.) Point Is Id Already Be Gone Again But I can't Now He won't Get Up W/the Baby He doesn't Hear Him Cry,(ive Left Him W/the Baby Went To The Store Came Back And The Baby Had Been Crying For Sometime And He Was Sound To Sleep On The Bed) And Will Not Change A Diaper,hed Take Him To A Neighbor! No Way! Not To Mention When he's Been Left W/the 4yr Old he's Inside A Sleep On The Couch And The 4yr Old Is Out Side Playing..no Fence On A Busy Road!now All This Has Happened More That Once. So I can't Leave Now Period. I Do Have A 14yr Old But Its Not Her Job To Watch Them..I've separated Before, Before The Last Baby. We Were separated About 6mo,and My 14yr Old Hated Takeing Care Of The 3yr Old At The Time And The Neighbours Would Call Me Too! "hes Dirty,he's In The Street,he's Over Here Asking For Food Again" Help...help...help Ps don't Sugest Counceling. He Diesnt Have A Problem.

Search this Thread
Share |
14 Answers
s_cianci's Avatar
s_cianci Posts: 5,481, Reputation: 4046
Über Member
  
#11

Aug 16, 2006, 02:31 PM
He doesn't have a problem?! He's a chronic, pathological liar, he's also irresponsible and it's ruining your marriage! He definitely needs some serious therapy now or your marriage isn't going to make it. The only bright spot is that evidently he acknowledges his lying, which suggests that there could be some hope but not without professional intervention. Do it now. If that fails then you'll have to pack your bags and leave.
Helpful
J_9's Avatar
J_9 Posts: 36,984, Reputation: 25630
Expert
  
#12

Aug 16, 2006, 03:19 PM


Just a quick thought. Seems like a depression disorder to me.
Helpful
valinors_sorrow's Avatar
valinors_sorrow Posts: 3,034, Reputation: 3328
Ultra Member
  
#13

Aug 16, 2006, 03:22 PM
For a moment I thought you were talking about my brother.

My brother is a pathological liar, been married seven times, admits he lies, has left untold wreckage in his wake, been to numerous counselors (brags how he can eat them for lunch) and still finds women to line up for him. He could be a whole Oprah show all himself. When I asked him about the pain he caused the seven (he bankrupted each one too) he said they asked for it (in a nasty tone) and then five seconds later carried on about how he saved them all from low self esteem (in heroic tones). If that isn't crazy, I don't know what is!

The trouble with him is he tells the truth part of the time so everyone gets sucked up into the game I call "Sorting" -- where they try to sort fact from fiction. I gave my brother up to God and no longer pursue a relationship with him as there is simply no point. He only knows how to use people and unless you like some whacked out form "live theater", it can't work as a relationship. I have talked to dozens and dozens of professionals and all I ever hear is how seldomly his kind seek help successfully. Should a major miracle occur with him, he knows where to find me. Meanwhile, I am not open to anything else but that, which means I may miss seeing him grow old and die as sick as he ever was. Such is life.

Lying is that bad and its been my observation it makes everyone in close contact with the liar sick and crazy too.
Helpful  (1)
K_3's Avatar
K_3 Posts: 306, Reputation: 373
Full Member
  
#14

Aug 16, 2006, 06:21 PM
I agree, I do not know what to do with liars. I have someone in my family that will lie when the truth would sound better. It is so frustrating. You can not even believe them when they tell the truth, because you just don't know what is truth or a lie. I feel for you.
Helpful
wtpsu's Avatar
wtpsu Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
New Member
  
#15

Dec 12, 2007, 08:29 AM
I have gone through the same and worse with my wife for 17 years; I stayed for our 2 boys. Now, they're older and I'm done, tired and a bit resentful that I have wasted so much time, but I think I'd do it again. They say you don't stay for the kids, but I don't know that I agree with that statement in every case. What stinks is that people can get so screwed up.
Helpful
Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions
 
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.

Remove Text Formatting
 

Undo
Redo
  
Decrease Size
Increase Size
Bold
Italic
Underline
Align Left
Align Center
Align Right
Ordered List
Unordered List
Decrease Indent
Increase Indent
Insert Email Link
Wrap [QUOTE] tags around selected text
Wrap [CODE] tags around selected text
Wrap [HTML] tags around selected text
Wrap [PHP] tags around selected text
Wrap [YOUTUBE] tags around selected text
Notification Type:



Check out some similar questions!

I am ruining my relationship with lies that I don't even have to lie about [ 7 Answers ]

My girlfreind and I have been together for a year now and I am continusly lying to her and the stuff I lie about is so little , but then she calls me out on it and I just lie again to get out of it , what kind of problem is this I need help I don't want to lose this girl and she doesn't deserve to...

12 yr. Old who lies and sets things on fire help please [ 7 Answers ]

I have a 12 year old daughter who just plains refuses to tell the truth about anything. We have been having problems with a neighbor and I have stood beside and behind my daughter through it all. I thought she was telling me the truth about not starting problems with this adult neighbor however, I...

Are all of those shampoo ads lies? [ 7 Answers ]

Well, my hair is naturally dark, long and straight, and I've always liked to kept it "smooth and sleek" always super straight. But I did a BIG damage to my hair, I was brushing my hair with one of those roll on brushes and I was in such a hurry that morining that it got all caught and tangled in my...

Helping stop the lies [ 5 Answers ]

I want to stop lying but I need help. I have all these things I made up and I don't want to tell my friends because they will hate me. I know the thing is I should stop lying but I don't want to. Its like I'm addicted to lying. Could it be possible to be addicted to lying. So hears the question:...

What to do if two co workers are spreading lies about you? [ 6 Answers ]

I have never used this web site before and I'm at my witts end. I work as a hairdresser in a small shop and two out of five co-workers are telling my boss that I'm doing things I'm just not doing. One of them is telling my boss that she is physically scared of me and that I threatend the other one...

View more Relationships questions Search