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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   Lies and The End?

 
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Old Dec 28, 2006, 06:24 PM
BlazingCold
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Lies and The End?

Hello. Happy Holidays to all.

I found out that my ex is in another relationship. She said that she didn't want a relationship with anyone when she left me, but I didn't believe her. I guess I was right. She probably said this because she "didn't want to hurt me". Fission Mailed. I'm not as upset or sick as I thought I would be, but that'll change.

I don't know what else to say....

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Old Dec 30, 2006, 02:54 AM   #31  
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[quote=BlazingCold}jrussole
Why do I feel so old at 20? It feels like my life has passed me by. I know she's out there, and she'll make herself known to me when the time is right.[/QUOTE]

Blaze, you are more advanced than most! Maturity doesn't always find itself until your old. Consider yourself lucky that you have a head on your shoulders! Now you just have to find another that has the same qualities you possess. And you'll be fine. And yes, 2007 will be a much better year for you! Just get out that weed whacker, toss the ones that don't make the cut, so that you can find the flowers! They are there. They may not be in bloom, yet.
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Old Dec 30, 2006, 06:30 AM   #32  
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Thanks for the support. I've been told by many that I am more mature that usual for my age. But I still feel an attraction to "immature" women. Maybe because I didn't date in high school. I sure hope she's out there and flowers soon, I need to focus on someone else for a while.
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Old Dec 30, 2006, 12:15 PM   #33  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlazingCold
I sure hope she's out there and flowers soon, I need to focus on someone else for a while.

Firstly, Yes I believe you are very mature for your age and that is a good thing.

Secondly, Focus on you rather than someone new. She will come but it will all come in time. I see a lot of similarities between me and you blaze and I sense we have both been drawn to the wrong types of women. The right one will show up..In time..

And remember that even though you are a mature lad, you can still have fun too. Just as long as fun does not hurt others in any way, then having fun is healthy!!
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Old Dec 30, 2006, 05:46 PM   #34  
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I've done a good bit of focusing on myself. I've analysed my life and found what I'm uphapy with and am trying to change said things.

I think what's most bothering me is the feeling that my ex hates me for reasons unknown. I know I treated her as well as I possibly could. I brought up breaking NC to answer this question.

Being at home is nice, but without school to distract me, my thoughts drift to what we had. None of my friends live close by. The fact that I know she's living it up doesn't make it any better.

But I'll feel better in time. And I will NOT break NC. I will come here to vent should the urge to crack comes on again. Thank you.
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Old Dec 30, 2006, 06:06 PM   #35  
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I'm in a similar situation, but the big mistake i made, and it sounds like you're making, is that you're operating under the assumption that her life is going swimmingly without you. If your relationship was substantial, and meant anything to both parties, believe me, the dude she's seeing now is the dude she's crying about you to. My ex was seeing somebody else within 2 weeks of us breaking up, but i doubt she left me for him.

I know the satisfaction you'll get from her misery is minimal, but you also can't let go of something so important in such a short period of time, particularly when you don't see a good reason to. The best revenge is living well.

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Geoffersonairplane agrees: Excellent answer, I really liked this bit of advice + I think blaze you are assuming too much that she is happier without you. Do not assume, that is where I went wrong.
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Old Dec 30, 2006, 07:49 PM   #36  
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Why would her life not be pretty good. She's out of a relationship that caused her a lot of pain apparently (ours, pain that I never knew existed), has an apparently great group of friends, is into a lot of clubs and now has a bf (2 months after leaving me).

What reason would she have to cry about me? She's the one who left. She knows what she was doing. I do operate under the satisfaction that her life is better off without me, because it is. Why would you leave someone who you told loved with all your heart unless you were sure that life without them is better than life with them.

Besides, thinking like this becomes motivation for me to have the last laugh by making the changes to myself I've always wanted. I will have my revenge, by living a great life full of opportunity and prosperity.
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Old Dec 30, 2006, 07:57 PM   #37  
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My story is posted, if you'd like to read and tell the similarities/differences. I find that my ex is going through a sort of identity crisis. Dating me for 2 years and being in pain are almost mutually exclusive. The pain mine was in more or less equates to her realizing she's not food enough for me. The parties and great friends are just validation. She came out feeling like a piece of , and needs to associate herself with people who make her feel better about herself, despite doing the wrong thing, which could be either dating me, or breaking up with me.

That's my opinion, and i suppose there's always the possibility she never felt that way towards me and faked it for 2 years, but i doubt it. Friends, parties and replacements are all distractions, some people learn to face themselves, some don't. Have faith that yours will, but don't run your life on it.
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Old Dec 30, 2006, 08:00 PM   #38  
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I might also add, in my case, her life isn't better off without me, it's just easier.
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Old Dec 31, 2006, 03:18 AM   #39  
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Boys! Life is too short to worry about the wouldve's and/or couldve's in this world. What's fun is the anticipation of the party! Happy New Years!
Get thrashed, you'll feel better! !

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talaniman agrees: You got that right, Happy New Year Every one, Party time up in here!!!
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Old Dec 31, 2006, 12:44 PM   #40  
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Talaniman! You have really cracked me up. But it is time to go. I have had enough.
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