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I've been told that urges could be controlled by some Role Playing, so I though I would create this post for all of us. The holidays are upon us and thats going to prove to be a difficult time for most of us here. A lot of us will be tempted to break NC and take us back to square one. In the interests of maitaining NC, Just type here what you feel about your ex in any form you like (letter, text message, IM, anything you want) it's a good way to get things off your chest and be able to stay on the road to healing. I hope it's something that will be of help
I'm going to start the ball rolling with an e-mail that i have saved in my draft folder to my ex bf. instead of sending it to him i'm just going to post it here. That way i can say what i need to say without causing any more pain to myself.
Hi Stonewilder, yes, in a way it did help me to get it out. I was so tempted to send that e-mail to my ex, but it helped to just be able to post it somewhere.
I've been having such a bad day today. this time last year my ex decided he wanted to try to work things out with me (we had been broken up a couple of months at that time) We left the night before Thanksgiving to spend the weekend at the beach, which he does every year at this time (He's a Jehovahs Witness so he dosen't celebrate Thanksgiving). We had such a wonderful and romantic time together, and he told me that he wanted to spend his life with me. I know that he will be wanting to take his new girl with him there tonight, and that hurts me so much because he'll be romancing her the way he did me, and i'll be spending my time alone wishing that it was me that he's with.
Hi Stonewilder, yes, in a way it did help me to get it out. I was so tempted to send that e-mail to my ex, but it helped to just be able to post it somewhere.
I've been having such a bad day today. this time last year my ex decided he wanted to try to work things out with me (we had been broken up a couple of months at that time) We left the night before Thanksgiving to spend the weekend at the beach, which he does every year at this time (He's a Jehovahs Witness so he dosen't celebrate Thanksgiving). We had such a wonderful and romantic time together, and he told me that he wanted to spend his life with me. I know that he will be wanting to take his new girl with him there tonight, and that hurts me so much because he'll be romancing her the way he did me, and i'll be spending my time alone wishing that it was me that he's with.
I'm so sorry you have to feel such pain. I know it's hard especially during the holidays. I wish there were something inspirational I could say to ease your pain (and everyone else here) but I guess heartache is just a part of life sometimes. I'm glad you had the idea to post letters to our ex's. It did feel good to tell my ex how I feel even if he never sees it. Somehow we will all get past our heartaches and find love again.
All of the pain that we are feeling is just apart of love. Love and pain go hand in hand. The level of hurt that we are facing shows how compassionate each of us are. It's a great idea to post letters such as this on here. Thanks for creating it. Stay strong.
I was a little sad because I did not hear from you for the past holiday I was pretty upset. On the other hand you opened my eyes to see that you really are not in love with. I see how cold you are. I see you are looking for something else, something other then me. I see how cold you can be and that's not a attack on you it's just the way you are.
It's been a year, and i'm proud to say that i'm totally over you. I'm happy, and currently filled with inspiration, i'm looking forward to my future, and i'm just really happy.
I just wanted to say that I really don't give a damn any more. I'd hoped you'd look at things and work out why people treat you the way they do.
Unfortunately you haven't learned a damn thing and you are still convinced the fault lies with others.
Wrong.
I for one cannot live with someone who thinks lying and stealing are acceptable behaviour.
Your new Fella is truly welcome to you. I wish him well and bear him no malice. but just bear in mind, if your poor Father knew the truth about you, it would break his heart just as surely as it broke mine.
Good Luck for the future.
For weeks I knew I would take you back. It was a no brainer. I didn't even have to stress about it because I knew I would. It didn't matter what you had done. I only knew that no matter what you had put me through it couldn't be worse then living the rest of my life without you. I knew it wasn't possible that your love for me was gone, the bond was just to strong. Lately i've started to resent you. I resent that you took seven years of my life. I resent that you spent all of those years convincing me that this was forever. I resent that with absolutely no warning you walked away leaving me shattered and broken. I resent that when people cut you down and called you a piece of $hit I defended you. I said but you don't understand, he has to have a good reason or he's just confused and doesn't know what he's doing right now, I made excuses for you over and over. I knew you so well and I knew that this wasn't something you would do to me, it wasn't possible. I spent weeks trying to deal with my broken heart and at the same time trying to cope with the constant presents of you in my thoughts. It was torture, it was like my entire mental state was in jepordy. It was acually terrifying not being able to rely on any kind of rational thought. Eventually reality began to settle in a little each day. I began to come to terms with some of the things you have actually done. I know that you left me to start a life with someone that is so f'd up, even her friends laugh at what a fool she's making out of you. Now the latest news is you are not very happy in your new found life and I guess that should make me happy. All it really does is make me sick, it makes me sick that you threw away seven happy years for something only four months into it is shakey at best. I do hope you've learn at least a couple things. What goes around, comes back around and that the grass is usually NEVER greener on the other side of the fence.
I was half way through typing out my letter and then i just broke down. I found it so hard to keep it all together, i must still be trying to heal.
Feel quite ashamed with myself now tho, thought it would of done me good.
I'll have to give it another go one day soon
Don't feel ashamed because you ARE still trying to heal just like me and so many others of us here. It's just going to take more time, but i promise that you will get there....we all will. And until we do, we're all here to help each other through it. Peace to you my friend.