This is quite a long story, so please bear with me I really need advice.
Ok, I was on a nite out with friends and as the nite was ending I turned to my right and made eye contact with this beautiful looking girl. I never usually approach girls but this time I did as she smiled at me and made me feel at ease. The conversation we had was great and we really clicked, we never kissed that night but she asked for my number and she did indeed txt me.
I was so happy she did and texting between us continued. I then bumped into her the next week in the same place and we kissed. Got on great again, she said she never usually goes with any random guy and usually knows them for a while 1st. I then text her drunk and told her how much I liked her, everything just seemd great and she made out she felt the same.
As time went on she told me on many occasions how much she liked me but I hardly ever seen her due to her work, as she worked evenings and I worked days.
She basically had mon,tue and sat off but said she only really had sat to have a nite out with friends. She is turning 21 and me 27 so I was wary of the age gap but thought it wouldnt be an issue.
The relationship she was in before she never saw her frinds as her ex wouldnt let her so she felt trapped. I found myself never getting to see her, if I did it would be once every 1-2 weeks. This was getting to me and I moaned a little about how I never saw her. She then said She wanted things more casual and not put a time scale on when we would nxt see each other, but still wanted to see me. So i agreed but was getting confused with her txting saying she missed me or phoning me all the time but hardly ever arranging to see me.
One time I was on the phone to her and her 2nd ex txt her and she went all weir don the phone and said she has to go. All i got was a message saying "im so sorry", I then spoke to her and she made it clear she was over her ex. She was honest and told me that when she met her recent ex she cheated on him with her 1st long term boyfriend as she still loved him and basically missed him when with some1 else. This worried me but I thought its nothing to do with me I just need to show her im better.
Over time i was getting tired of not getting to see her and called it off, she wanted to sort things and we did. it continued as usual i called it off aagain but i bumped into her on a nite out and we kissed. She would speak to me saying she felt there was no chemistry between us but gets on great with me and feels so relaxed. She would always say she had no time cause of work but to me she had three days where I could have seen her at som point. When we kissed after me calling it off she txt me saying things like "i dont usually kiss my pals" and "ur getting me to like u again, not good". I just took this as her playing hard to get and we continued to meet up whenever she liked.
A few weeks ago I went round to her house and we go quite close and everything seemed great, i was so happy. she then anted to go out with me that week and we did. The nite was going great then she disappeared to the toilet in a nightclub for overy 20mins. she then came out and 10 mins later wanted to go home, she left the taxi and all she could say was "im so sorry" im obviously confused again. she said she was just drunk and felt ill, so i let it be.
The final straw came when we were on the phone i shouted and acted silly about her not making any effort to see me and accusing her of daft thing, i was just really hurt and said things out of character. within that week she called me and said it was finished and she just wanted to be with her friends and seen a side to me that reminds her of her possesive ex, and also there was no connection between us.
She wanted to stay friends and i agreed but i was just hoping things would change. she then txt me drunk one nite making out she still liked me bu the next day aplogised and hoped we hadnt ruine our friendship. I decided I couldnt be friends as its too hurtful for me. My problem is I am totally confused as to whether i was liked and should i have stayed freinds in the hope that we would meet up again get together again.
Im really hurting and have taken this personally, she asked me if i was still coming to her birthday party and said I couldnt and i havent heard from her since, i cant stop thinking about her, cant sleep right and im gutted. My freinds tell me she just didnt want a relationship and when she seen it getting serious she called it a day.
Should i be friends with her and accept she just wasnt ready???
How do i get over this feeling of rejection and not feeling good enough???
I feel i blame myself for shouting cause of the way things were and not creating that chemistry she was wanting.
Sorry for the long story but any advice would be greatly appreciated
In all honesty this is a mixed up affair. Its time to get yourself out of it. Be thankful you didn't have a fully fledged relationship or it would have been allot harder. Seems like she has allot of issues she needs to work out herself, this may or may not have to do with her ex's.
Leave her alone, do not be her friend and work on yourself. Do not contact her, block her mobile no, email etc so she does not have any way of contacting you. Join the gym if you haven't, go out with your friends and have a great time. Give it a bit of time and you'll be fine
Thanks for the advice, I dunno whats up with me but I just feel myself getting jealous at the fact that she is out with her friends and not even bothering about me and getting all the attention from guys, you know!!!
My self esteem aint great and this I guess makes me struggle to move on. I have joined the gym so thats a start. I used to get plenty of attention from women, but my self esteem has hit the rocks, im suffering from hair loss and it really does affect my confidence on the way i look.
I just dont know why I wish she would contact me again if she is like this.
You wanted more than she was willing to give so now you have to regroup and work on your own issues so next time you can slow down and enjoy getting to know someone. You moved to fast and became to into this female who was not ready.
You wanted more than she was willing to give so now you have to regroup and work on your own issues so next time you can slow down and enjoy getting to know someone. You moved to fast and became to into this female who was not ready.
I agree, I did move too fast, thats why im kicking myself for this. I wish i had just went slower. Thats why I was thinking maybe stay friends and maybe one day it would pick up.
I feel as if she has made sense and i am to blame, if i wasnt so full on she would still want to see me????
In all honesty this is a mixed up affair. Its time to get yourself out of it. Be thankful you didn't have a fully fledged relationship or it would have been allot harder. Seems like she has allot of issues she needs to work out herself, this may or may not have to do with her ex's.
Leave her alone, do not be her friend and work on yourself. Do not contact her, block her mobile no, email etc so she does not have any way of contacting you. Join the gym if you haven't, go out with your friends and have a great time. Give it a bit of time and you'll be fine
Hi Jiser,
Thanks for the advice, I dunno whats up with me but I just feel myself getting jealous at the fact that she is out with her friends and not even bothering about me and getting all the attention from guys, you know!!!
My self esteem aint great and this I guess makes me struggle to move on. I have joined the gym so thats a start. I used to get plenty of attention from women, but my self esteem has hit the rocks, im suffering from hair loss and it really does affect my confidence on the way i look.
I just dont know why I wish she would contact me again if she is like this.
Sorry didnt quote u, as u can see im new to this lol
Your self-esteem will always take abit of a beating in situations like yours. However you can choose how it effects you. Chuck that ego out the door and forget what people think of you. Who cares?
Go down the gym, pump the weights hard! Get some protein in you, get a decent workout going. You'll look great for the summer. Go out more and meet people.
Your self-esteem will always take abit of a beating in situations like yours. However you can choose how it effects you. Chuck that ego out the door and forget what people think of you. Who cares?
Go down the gym, pump the weights hard! Get some protein in you, get a decent workout going. You'll look great for the summer. Go out more and meet people.
Du honestly think that being friends with this girl is the wrong idea, I feel as though im to blame for acting too full on or serious by wanting to see her more?
From what you wrote, she seems confused about what she wants. So leave her alone, do not be friends with her. Do not try to over analyze things. Get some sort of self belief back and do not contact her.
Not saying you can't give things a try again, such as being friends or even more, but in the mean time you have to work on your self. After several months, maybe more you will be able to look more clearly upon your situation.
From what you wrote, she seems confused about what she wants. So leave her alone, do not be friends with her. Do not try to over analyze things. Get some sort of self belief back and do not contact her.
Not saying you can't give things a try again, such as being friends or even more, but in the mean time you have to work on your self. After several months, maybe more you will be able to look more clearly upon your situation.
You are correct in what your saying, its just really hard letting go of something you wanted, but I will not contact her cause it will only be to make her happy and I will continually hope there is more.
The hardest thing to swallow will be seeing her with some1 else
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