 | | | My fianc? Told me she wants to go on break
Asked Aug 5, 2009, 07:04 PM
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288 Answers I have been with my fiance/ex fianc? For 10 months and just last week she told me she wants to "go on break." I am 35 and she is 22. She lives an hour & a half from me. Since we met we have spent almost every weekend together due to our work schedules. I drive to see her on Friday afternoon & come home Sunday night. I also drive to see her one day during the week. She lives with her parents and is close with them so I always go there. Anyway she is adopted and a few months ago found online her biological mom,dad and sis. So we planned to fly and see them last week. For a few weeks before our trip we've been bickering about minor stuff. She said it was her being stressed out and I added to that stress. She said there was something missing and it has nothing to do with me...she's says I've been "perfect". One night I overheard her tell someone that she "loves me....but "isnt sure if he's the right one- how do you ever know" and that I'm "always up her ." I confronted her about it and she said she doesn't know why she said it. I give her plenty of space. When were not together she either goes to a friends house or meets a friend at a bar and drinks. Just recently she said she would like more girls nights out on the weekends since she's only had a few in 10 months. I have no problem with that but she said she was scared to ask me. She says every time she goes out we get into an argument. Sometimes this is true but all I ever asked of her was to "every once in a while text me"...she feels she shouldn't feel obligated to do so. So the night before we left to see her family that she's never met I confronted her as to why she's been so cold and distant...she had no response and no reaction so I left her house to see how she would react. A 1/2 hour later she texted me saying how I'm the nicest guy she's ever met and I deserve better than her. I came back to her house and she said she wanted to take a break and that she won't wear the ring on our trip to see her family and she won't introduce me as her fianc? But she wanted me to come with her and meet her biological family. Half the time on our trip she was cold and distant and half the time she was ok. I told her I didn't want to lose her and she told me "dont worry..you wont" I also asked her when she's going to wear the ring again and she said "eventually". The 3 days Since we got back from our trip she's texted me but only once in a while and she called once. I don't call her and only respond to her texts but never text 1st. I don't want to lose her....she has everything I've wanted. I know she's serious about me because several times we looked at houses together and she has wanted to have a baby. She's very trustworthy and always texts me and tells me what she's doing even though I never asked her to.What should I do? Please help Thread Summary |
288 Answers
 | Uber Member | |
Dec 10, 2009, 01:51 PM
| | | Van is right-you're doing this to you. You can decide to let it go. Or not. I vote you do. | | |  | Full Member | |
Dec 10, 2009, 01:55 PM
| | | How do I just let it all go? Is time the only thing that will do it for me? I've tried staying busy, gym, going out with friends but still find myself thinking about her....I think because nothing at all has come close to working out with other girls. | | |  | Ultra Member | |
Dec 10, 2009, 01:58 PM
| | | Just stay on it & try not to dwell. Keep your mind busy.
And yes, its time and hard work, but it will pass.
Know that you don't NEED someone else to make your fun. | | |  | Junior Member | |
Dec 10, 2009, 02:05 PM
| | | Let me tell you something, I still think about my ex, but it doesn't phase me at all.....the sadness is gone and I just laugh her situation and knowing that my situation is 1000 times better...
I stay busy and keep it moving....I keep thinking of the next big things that are going to happen in my life now that she isn't holding me back...that helps a lot!
I have yet to work on trying to find another girl, I want to work on me and not be an idiot like my ex and jump onto the next person I see....
I want to work on myself so I won't fail again.... | | |  | Uber Member | |
Dec 10, 2009, 02:07 PM
| | | Do things you really enjoy.with people you really like. Maybe take a vacation,go somewhere you've not been before.
Change your mindset,that takes concentration and some work,but it can most definitely be done. | | |  | Full Member | |
Dec 10, 2009, 02:14 PM
| | | I really appreciate all your help guys- This forum has helped me just get my emotions out. I think its much better posting things on here than wanting to contact my ex. One thing I could say is I'm surprised how strong I was in never contacting her since she dumped me (although I did respond to some of her texts) I forced myself to let her go and never begged for her back because I never wanted to look pathetic/desperate.
Hey Jaffey- I've been following your thread but how long has it been since your girl ended it? | | |  | Junior Member | |
Dec 10, 2009, 02:21 PM
| | | Quote:
Originally Posted by bjohnrupp I really appreciate all your help guys- This forum has helped me just get my emotions out. I think its much better posting things on here than wanting to contact my ex. One thing I could say is I'm surprised how strong I was in never contacting her since she dumped me (although I did respond to some of her texts) I forced myself to let her go and never begged for her back because I never wanted to look pathetic/desperate.
Hey Jaffey- I've been following your thread but how long has it been since your girl ended it? | Good job man, I express a lot of anger on this forum, its helps a lot....
Its been since Saturday, Nov. 28th....so almost 2 weeks? | | |  | Uber Member | |
Dec 10, 2009, 02:24 PM
| | | You are strong,and you're getting there-no doubt about it. Good night from old England.:-) | | |  | Full Member | |
Dec 10, 2009, 02:30 PM
| | | Good night Amicon-thanks. Hey Jaff- sounds like in such a short time you're doing good already. Have you heard from her lately? | | |  | Junior Member | |
Dec 10, 2009, 09:15 PM
| | | Quote:
Originally Posted by bjohnrupp good night Amicon-thanks. Hey Jaff- sounds like in such a short time you're doing good already. Have you heard from her lately? | Im doing good already because of my strong support system of friends who tell me how much I have on the table now that she is out of the picture....
It also helps that I hear my ex keeps saying little things bad about me....like subliminal messages....it proves she can't get over me whether she has a new guy or not....I'm enjoying her anger and changing it into positive energy......
And I haven't heard from her since the day I talked about her kids.....I don't expect to hear from her until maybe 5 to 8 months.....I just have that feeling....but I'm not living just for that moment to happen.... | | | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | Add your answer here.
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