Lack of Trust

highroller4321 · #1 Oct 3, 2006, 05:49 AM

I have been dating this girl for about 1 year but we have known each other for quite awhile. We have recently had a baby girl on august 16 of this year.

A little history

My girl had dated this guy mike for about 3 years. He did nothing but hurt her and treat her like ****. All she ever did was complain about him and tell me what he did to hurt her. She got hurt over the whole thing and even was going to kill herself a view times but then decided against it. She broke up with him about 6 months before her and i started dateing. During the first view months she kept his pictures up and all her old love notes and things that she wrote to him. I got upset about this and she ended up throwing all her old love notes away. She told me she took the pictues down and threw those away too. Later i find out she has been keeping a picture of him underneath her pillow (i hit my head on it and found it). I wanted to know if she was looking at it every night so i took it out and put it on the side of her bed. The next morning it was undernearth her pillow again! She said she didnt look at it everynight. I was at work one day and came home to her on msn webcaming with him. She was all dressed up with a new low cut shirt on. She said she was just hot and that it ment nothing. I think went to sit by her and she got mad because she didnt want to make him mad by having me there. About 2 months before we had out baby she emailed him saying that she missed him and that she loved him. I dont think she ment it love u love u but i have no way to tell. She also has myspace and sent him a messaging pleading with him to call her.

She just has now recently promised that she wont talk to him. This was 2 weeks ago and i have yet to find something.

Also about 5 months ago she was on msn talking to one of her friends and she said that the only reason that she was still with my was so that the baby had a dad and that she didnt love me or want to marry me. I was totaly shocked by this and hurt. We took some time off but i eventually forgave her.

About 3 months ago her ex screw buddy died. Every time he came to town he txt her asking her if she wanted to screw. She always told him know and thought he was a loser. She did screw him for a lil while after she broke up with mike. Before he died i was at work and she came to visit me and told me that he was out in the parking lot. After she left i txt her and told her not to talk to him. She txt me back IM NOT GONNA GEESH!!!! Later that night when i got home she was sleeping and she got a text from him. They had purposly met outside were i worked. I dont know what else they did because she had deleted her txts because her inbox was full. He died in a motocyle crash being in idiot going 90mph. She was really upset and i went to the funeral with her to comfort her. Now all her msn names are you couldnt understand how much you are missed. And she keeps going onto a site about him reading all about his stuff and everything and she just cant get over that.

As you can see i have been through a lot with her. I love her to death but i just cant deal with this anymore. I work and pay for everything!! I am gone for 9hrs everyday working and she is home alone at night. I dont belive that she is screwing anyone but when she cant forget about all these guys it makes me worry. She got a new webcam and has been webcaming with people. This really bothers me because she told me before that she doesnt care who sees her breasts!!! I got really mad at her over that but she says she cares now. I am prettys sure she flashed my friend last night but i have no real way of telling.

Im to the end of my rope. Someone please tell me what to do. I feal like that i have all the trust problems and everything. I just dont know what to do nemore

Krs · Oct 3, 2006, 06:07 AM

This is what i think, here goes:-

She has the cake with you and she is completely eating it all.!

Wildcat21 · Oct 3, 2006, 10:11 AM

I think you need to move on from this freak show. Support the child. Your plan B. No one should be plan B - ever.

Relationships are built on respect and trust - SHE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU WITH ONCE OF HER BEING - YOU HAVE ZERO REASON TO TRUST HER AT ALL.

it might hurt for a while - BUT all she's doen is hurt you.

You MUST get a paternity test - are you even sure this is your kid??????

For the love of god - move on. Be in the childs life - not hers!!!!!!!!! Please!!!!

Do you really want to be in someones life who stayed in co0ntact with their ex-screw buddy???

Leave this tramp alone - find a real woman.

momincali · Oct 3, 2006, 11:54 AM

Definitely, for sure without hesitation, get a paternity test right now. Before it's too late. don't let your emotions stop you. do it. don't delay or procrastinate, don't come up with excuses.

If the results are positive, then continue to support the child and only the child. Be an active part of the babies life, behave in a manner that will make your kid proud, so she will never have anything negative to say to your little girl.

If it is negative and you are not the father, then walk away and don't look back. Stop being a doormat. Don't worry about the money you've already spent, it was an expensive lesson and worth your sanity.

She is extremely immature and has little to no character, that usually doesn't change. I wouldn't trust her any farther than I could throw her. Don't fight with her as this is not good for the baby, as young as she is. Just move on.

Wildcat21 · Oct 3, 2006, 12:16 PM

"Stop being a doormat." Ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!! That's what I was coming back t opost.

Grow a spine. This gal has walked all over you. Learn to say no! Learn to stand up to what you want - not her!

I hate to say it - but there is a good chance this is not your child. Get the test done today - regardless of what she says - she may throw a fit - but she may also grow and realize you have a spine.

Thank the almighty god you didn't marry this gal - or WORSE get some diseses.

Support the kid - if it's yours! - ditch her now!

s_cianci · Oct 3, 2006, 05:03 PM

Yes, definitely get the paternity test. Meanwhile, pack her bags for her and show her the door. If the kid turns out to be yours, then fight for joint custody and be prepared to pay child support. But don't put up with any more of her nonsense. This is not something you want or deserve. She'll actually respect you more if you stand up to her.

highroller4321 · Oct 4, 2006, 06:43 AM

Hey Guys..she Just Cheated On Me Last Night....we Are Done....gettting The Test Asap

Krs · Oct 4, 2006, 06:49 AM

Once a cheater always a cheater.

To be honest i was expecting something of the sort.
She is using you taking advantage of your kindness to her.

Screw the tart and let her get on with alone.

Wildcat21 · Oct 4, 2006, 07:21 AM

Actually - I highly doubts it's your kid.

Get this tramp out of your life for good.

You seem like a reall good guy - you deserve way better and there are great women out there - the problem is this gal is the lowest form of lows.

She is really taking great risks as well - dieases with scummy guys.

I feel bad for the baby that this is it's mother.



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