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    amanda42590's Avatar
    amanda42590 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 25, 2010, 01:03 AM
    I know he loves me but he keeps lying...
    My fiancé of only 5 months keeps telling me little and big lies,but for no reason,at least I can't figure it out.Ive tried making him feel scared of losing me/feeling guilty for what he done and he still lied.I also tried the opposite and supported his problem and made him feel like he has no reason to lie that being honest with me will rescue him from consequence but neither does that work.I believe this is been a problem for him for a long time.I love him with all my heart and don't want us to be apart I've been with numerous of people and he is the one who I'm in true love with,all the other guys would have been gone along time ago.I can't leave him for nothing I don't know how I got myself in this predeciment.He keeps telling me its because he doesn't want to hurt me with the truth but him lying is hurting me worst then what he lied about.He does not think he's good enough but I tell him I will except him for who he is.To top it off we separated for TWO days because of a pretty big argument about his lies so I left and didn't talk to him and he got online and created a dating profile and gave a girl his number and then he deleted the profile and didn't call her.I know he loves me but what can we do to fix these problems.While the separation I had a miscarrage because of the bs I was dealing with,he even got mad before Ieft not on drugs or anything and out his hands on me but I still forgave him,he has a lot of hidden issues.We are in a trial/limted separation right now because I want to know the truth of what will happen if we aren't around each other,will he easily find another or will he forget me easily,these are the things I want to know.The out come so far and its been about a week,Yeah I know not that long but he has been going insane and draging me with him.Im just confused and possibly pregnant again.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #2

    Sep 25, 2010, 05:52 AM

    You said it yourself - He does nothing but lie, so why believe him if he tells you he loves you? That could be another one of the lies he’s telling you so he can get what he wants. Don't believe a word he says.

    Compulsive liars are really good at making people feel sorry for them. At this point in time you know he can’t be trusted. Compulsive lying is an addiction just like sex, drugs, or smoking. Your boyfriend needs to admit he has a problem and see a counselor to get to the bottom of it.

    If he’s not willing to get the help he needs, then you need to hit the road or you'll end up with nothing but heartache.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Sep 25, 2010, 07:13 AM

    When you have had enough you will leave, or at least stop having sex with him, because he will not change without a lot of help, so its you that have to make sure you don't drown in his BS!

    Hurts I know, but will hurt a lot more if you stay with him.
    ghadaahlawya's Avatar
    ghadaahlawya Posts: 6, Reputation: 3
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    #4

    Oct 8, 2010, 08:09 PM
    Leave him liers are always cheaters
    churchh's Avatar
    churchh Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Dec 29, 2010, 02:52 AM
    OMG Amanda, I don't have any answers for you, but I wanted to see how things were going with you and your fiancé. I'm in such a similar situation to you, although I threw the engagement ring back, also I'm 6 1/2 months pregnant. My ex cannot seem to stop lying, I discovered a few ways to check to see if he is telling the truth or not and he is not. Even little things he lies about, such as buying a new tshirt, why would I care if he bought a new tshirt? But he lies about it and makes up big stories to go along with it. Then bigger lies like booking holiday overseas for 5 days with his teenage son while I'm pregnant, not telling me and lying and covering it up (like I wouldn't find out)which I think is also to catch up with some of his mates that are also overseas at the same time, and he gets his son to lie about it to me too. Or the lies about not having drugs anymore, how does he think I wouldn't know? I don't think he has cheated on me, but who would know? My son and I had to move out of the house about 6 months ago because he was too aggressive and he would be on my son's back so much, I think he was jealous or something, which seems strange to say out loud, but his behavior was strange. A couple of nights I had to put my son in a taxi and send him to my cousins late at night because my ex was in one of his angry moods and yelling and carrying on. We had to move out. He has done a lot of changing in that he has control now over his temper and he is no longer verbally abusive, he has come a long way. My personality also started changing, I was becoming an angry person which was so unlike me, and I was always on edge, I snooped a lot, which he knows I was very open about it and it was a running joke that I would constantly go through everything but I hated it, I hated that I trusted him so little that I had to check on him so much (still do a bit), and the worst is I always found what I was looking for, he was always lying.
    But he is relentless in his pursuit of me and declares his love loudly, he arrives and my house in tears, he can't sleep or eat and I feel awful just awful, no one wants to hurt someone they love. But he lies so much, it just never stops. I want the dream that we had, and we could have it all really all of it, if he could just stop lying and be a decent honest man.. what's wrong with us that we love these men and struggle to leave, or are we supposed to stay and continue trying different things until we find the thing that works? My ex says that all the old couples that have made it through to have a long successful marriage stuck it out and worked things through, is this right? And if so, why are we (the women) the ones that seem to be 'sticking it out, and sacrificing?'.. so if you have found the answer you were looking for, please let me know, or does anyone else have the answer? And now I'm facing being a single parent at the age of 36 which I never ever wanted to do.

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