So after I told my ex I didn't want to have any more contact with him, he decides to send me an email with the lyrics to a song about missing your girlfriend. I tried so hard to ignore it, but part of me wants him back so much. He said he'd always accept a phone call from me, so I decided to call him to find out what he meant by that message. He answered and basically said it didn't really mean anything, he was just feeling that way towards me that day. He then said he had to go and *maybe* would call me some other time.

I was starting to feel better until he wrote me that little note and sparked my hope again. I feel like I've taken a giant step backwards...of course it's my fault for calling him. I wrote a huge email telling him how I felt about the way he treated me. It included that I don't want any more messages about how he feels. I made sure to include how happy I was with my new life, and that I hope he is happy with his. It wasn't a mean email, but it firmly said that I'm still healing and don't want him contacting me.

I just woke up feeling very angry today about the whole thing. I'm angry at him for leading me on again, and I'm angry at myself for giving into it and taking a step backward. I'm not even sure why he would lead me on like that.

So I'm going on my 6th week of being single, and it really is getting better. For everyone out there who is fresh out of a breakup, please know that it will get better. I remember thinking there was no way I could go on in life without him...but now I can start to see the light and know that things are going to be okay eventually. I still think about him everyday, and sometimes I still cry...but it really is getting better.

Pagan_soul

Hey. That last paragraph was really encouraging. I came to this thread thinking I may be able to help you, and insted you helped me.
I know what it's like to need to vent... I've been venting a lot too. I'm sure my mates are sick of it by now.

I think it was unfair of him to lead you on and send those messages, especialy if he wasn't sure he meant it. I can't really give any advice, but I hope he leaves you alone now.
It's great that your recovering so fast.

Jesushelper76

It is very good that you share your hope, light at the end of the tunnel to all those who are experiancing similar situations. Just venting is good. This is the best place for it.

Enjoy being single.

(;

Joe

Geoffersonairplane

It nearly always gets better in time and in the early days, most people slip up with the no contact.

No contact is important for healing and making positive progress and should be used for this purpose.

I am glad you are finding that time is healing the wounds. Trust me that I and many others here know what you are going through and send you my best wishes.

talaniman

Venting is great and you always feel a little better, so feel free anytime , use CAPS if it helps.

Skell

It might be helpful to bock emaisl from him as well.

I know you told him not to but who knows, if he gets that feeling again he may be tempted to do a similar thing again and then you you take another step backwards.

Other than that is great to hear that you are making progress.

Just remember that there are going to be so many ups and downs. It really is a roller coaster and this wont be the last set back. there will be many more to come, but you sounds like you are going about things in a healthy way so im sure you will be back to your 'best' sooner than you think!

chuff

This is a great place for venting. Vent away every day if you have too. It beats getting back on the rollar coaster.


Although in the future I wouldn't suggest sending the letter back to him writing down you thoughts is a great way to get things off your chest. It helps get out the pain and also organize it. It helps you see that some of what your going through isn't as bad as your brain tends to imagine. It puts logic back into an emotional problem.

So you just had a momentary lapse. Not a big deal. In fact if you look at it as a learning experience you actually gained some strength and knowledge. You now know what contacting him will really mean. More pain and games. Don't see this as a setback but as a reminder that you are making progress and a reminder of why you left that situation.

momincali

Don't allow for more set back from him again. Change you email and any number he has.

Pagan_soul

Do you really think thats neccesary? If she's getting on fine now, then changing her phone numbers and email is a bit over the top.
She'd have to inform all her contacts of her new details, and that could take a lot of effort and put on a lot of stress, especially if she had friends who knew her number, but she didn't know theres.
Thats just my opinion though...

momincali

I actually do think it's necessary, if you read her post from yesterday, you'll see that she received an email from him with the lyrics to a song about missing your girlfriend which got her hopeful, she had a bit of an impulse to call him because of the note and BAM, she falls on her face again and gives him a chance to say some hurtful things. He baited her just cause he was feeling down and that's wrong.

When you've suffered a break up like Daisy has, sometimes you have to take some drastic measures to secure yourself and your success in getting over someone. He was feeling low and without regard for her feelings sent her this email, which any broken up person would take as a sign and when she called him, he'd changed his tune and slammed her heart on the pavement. Sure it may be a bit inconvenient, but I guarantee, it will give her such a feeling of power and control because she's taking serious steps to assure this guy doesn't get the chance to do that to her again. She's showing him that "hey, I really don't have the time or desire to deal with your games or your sillyness and I'm moving on..."