At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
Im new to this site so please bear with me!! A couple of years ago i dumped my ex g/f because she was thinking of moving away, in my haste i ended the relationship and it took me nearly six months to make things right again.
We had a good two years but this year has been very tough for me, the death of my grandfather and the final stages of my studies had taken their toll on my mental wellbeing and i became depressed, then the problems with my now ex started. I distanced myself from her and and our sex life ground to a standstill.
Two months ago she told me it was all over due to my lack of affection and a loss of my get up and go, so she left and at first she emailled me telling me i was the best boyfriend she had ever had and so on...but then she stopped texting and emailling so i got in touch only to be told to move on
A few weeks ago she text me saying a letter (junk mail) had arrived for me at her place and asked if we could be friends to which i said no, the letter was posted and then no word for 7-10 days when she told me she still had some ''stuff'' of mine. having recently began an new job close to hers (not through choice) she offered to bring the stuff to my work. when she gave me the bag it had clothes in i would have put in the dumpster!! she complimented me on how well i looked and asked if i had been going out much, then at the end of it all she said it was lovely seeing me and hugged me so tight i was surprised!! then nothing that was a week ago and i dont know what if anything i should do, i really love this girl, we have been together six years in total and would like to try again but im not sure where i stand......any thoughts?
I think if you wanna try again she seems willing my man. The old clothes and the "wanna be friends" angle may suggest a reason to contact you. I think your in a good position fortrying again, provided thats what you want.
Friends? Who wants to be friends with an ex, no good ever came of that
Yeah i do want to try again, but i feel like im getting mixed messages and i dont want to seem needy or like she can walk all over me after she dumped me.
THATS basically the problem with ex's. I'm in the exact same boat as you as we speak, your fears are my fears. HOWEVER, I waited and waited for signs and now i have wayyyyy to many to make any proper decision as to what is going on with her, its insane. If you wait too long and look for messages it will make things all the harder, being walked over is just our pride talking and a fear of rejection, again, WELCOME ABOARD!
From the info you provided I see an in for you, 4get the mixed signal and get to work, better now than 6 months of this stuff. Besides, try to think that we already got this, they already liked us, so if it is no its not b/c she's too good, its just circumstances.
I really dont know what to do, when we split i fought tooth and nail to get her back and she hasnt even told me shes sorry for this situation... i really dont know
Could her recent contacts be stirring the flames you are feeling? Having invested a lot of time and emotion is not a good reason to renew a failed relationship. I really think you should go very slow and examine your own motives before you jump back into this. Of course their are unresolved issues here and you want answers you may not get, but one thing for sure if you are still confused or hesitant, deal with that first before making a commitment to retry a relationship. Go very slow with yourself.
Yeah, every time i get myself somewhere near to a good balance again, the phone goes or she turns up to places she knows i'll be. i have started dealing with some of my issues i am no longer mourning my grandfather, i am exercising a lot more and i have found a job which has lifted me and im starting to feel good about myself again.
The thing is i cant tell wether she is wanting to try again, i dont want to ask her in case it isnt what she wants. does she want to try again or is it a case that she doesnt want me but wants no one else to have me either?
No one can explain the female mind. Don't even try to guess her motives, nor should you care for now, as you have to much on your plate to be worried about what she wants. When you are healthier and stronger, you can ask, so asume nothing unless she brings it directly.
I got in touch with my ex today and she was really being nice and asking lots of questions, so i took the plunge and asked her out for a drink, to which she replied ''you cant do the friends thing'' i replied saying i couldnt and wondered if we could be more, she politely turned me down.
So in turn i text her saying ''look im sorry ive misread the situation,because you got in touch with me for trivial reasons i wont bother you again so please dont bother me'' i was trying to be mature and civil
To which i was told to f**k off, your being f**king shildish and you need to grow up!!
That to me has shown her true colours to me so im happy im out, thanks for the input
I know it sounds bad but I am kinda happy for you. You took a shot, acted like a gentleman and now you know I'm at the point where knowing seems alot better than wondering, regardless of the answer, maybe you feel that too.
Going forward, this will bethe last we here of this girl and you'll be back here posting problems about a brand new hotter girl soon enough, WE ALL WILL fingers crossed
Linear Mode
