The Joys of Being Single.

Originally Posted by starbuck8

Since we are talking about bathroom issues as one of the annoying things in a relationship, here is a play by play of the way it works, from our perspective! Don't you guys tell me this isn't how it's done!

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
Lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
Vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real
Passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
Red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bathmat. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
A pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife/girfriend along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo'
Sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your A$$ .

Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area, probably
With your wife's/ girlfriend's loofah.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
Whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife/girfriend, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
Woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
There is something so very wrong with you.

Originally Posted by none12345

Are you danny's wifey? O_O the dead one or a new wife? Lol JOKES JOKES JOKES

Originally Posted by starbuck8

I could be the dead one! Muuwaahahaha! But of course I'm the NEW one!...but shhh... Don't tell Nikosmom! She's got these delusional thoughts that she is his new wife! She knows he only sings to meeee! LOL!

Originally Posted by none12345

lol how are you and danny doing starbucks? =P is he treating you right? Is he still singing songs to you? Love songs? Lol but anyways who says he can't have 2 wife? Lol you and and nikosmom can be both his wife LOL =P =P

Originally Posted by kctiger

I have to disagree Starby....I cannot say I have seen a dirtier shower than those that woman use...you guys shed like freaking dogs! I mean, there is hair everywhere! I remember when I stayed at my ex's dorm room, and used her bathroom, it was almost as if Big Foot had shaved...just nasty (now, granted, four girls shared the bathroom).

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Or maybe your ex secretly had an affair with Big Foot, I'm just saying