Okay, me and my boyfriend were perfect. Neither of us were the jealous type, we could go out to the bars and have fun and laugh. Not only were we lovers we were best friends. We had fun doing just about anything and nothing. Everyone envied our relationship. Then about 2 months ago, i started having crazy mood swings and i got really tired and lazy, we started to fight. I lost my job. We ended up breaking up about 2 weeks ago. he said that i changed and i was lazy and was crazy with my mood swings, i didnt know what he was talking about... until now. Its turns out that i was pregnant. I was on the pill and had no signs of being pregnant, it wasnt until i missed my first period at 3 months that i found out, he was there for me, but i ended up having a miscarriage, probably because i took the pill for 3 months and was out drinking not knowing. Recently my car broke down, so now i am living at his house with him and he drives me to school caz im in college still and everything is back to normal. Except were not together, i feel like im being nieve in a way, The phrase you cant have your cake and eat it too, comes to mind. I love him with all my heart i do, but i dont want to be that stupid girl. Its to the point where his boys are like bro what are u doin, are u back with her or not and hell say no and theyll be like then why you with her everyday. Ive mentioned this to him and he says he just doesnt want a relationship relationship just yet, he wants to be able to go out and hit on girls again, but he really doesnt he is with me like 24/7. I just dont understand, he says that i scorned him, while i was pregnant i just went pyscho and though he knows now it was the hormones and stuff, its still scares him. He hates pyscho jealous girls, ive always known this and i was the exact opposite and the last 3 months i become completly pyscho, now that the pregnancy is over and done with im back to normal. So i dont understand why we cant be officially, because it is a relationship except he wont admit it. He says he just needs time to know that im not crazy or whatever anymore. Slowly but surely things are falling back into place, he is starting to say i love you more and more and call me baby again, but its not good enough for me. See i use to be the girl that never settled down. I kept my heart hidden for 21 years i did n when i met him i knew instantly he was the one and the same for him, or so i hear from his mom and family. the day he met me i guess he came home and said i honestly think i met the girl i am going to marry. He is everything that i never knew i wanted and more. My best friend, my lover my other half. I guess im just scared it really is over, but i dont feel like it is, everything is so right again but its not at the same time caz he wont admit were together when its obvious we are to everyone else, then he got mad at me caz i told he sister we were still broken up, i just feel like he is "getting his cake and eating it too" but at the same time i dont wanna pressure him and give him an ultimatum. Can somebody please help me, i really dont know what to do. Im just completly blank and confused about everything. I would really like to hear from a guy and a girl,

fredg

Hi,
Your question is much, much too long to most to have time available to read it.
Look around for new friends. If you are having this many problems, you need new friends. Try forgetting about this person.

Best of luck,
fredg

lnh814

In my opinion, i think you should ask him to be your boyfriend. If you ask him and he says no or not right now, i would start to stay farther away from him emotionally. He can abandon you at any time. What if he doesn't come around? What will you do then?

Also (i believe), men realize what they want when it's not so easy to have it (Most of the time). If you distance yourself, if he wants you, he will pursue you. If he doesn't atleast you can cut your loses and move on without wasting anymore time.

Tell him that the ball is in his court, he knows how you feel and it's up to him and if he wants you in his life, he'll have to start making it official and start making you feel secure.

You know what makes you comfortable and if any of this advice is not you, don't use it. In your mind you already know what you have to do, its different for everyone.

riae

I think you need to have a serious talk with him again. You can't be living every day not knowing where you stand with this man.It's either he's in or out. It would be hard but if he still sounds uncertain, dress yourself up and try going out and freeing up a bit. You'll he surprise to see the change in his reaction.