Thanks to those who responded to my earlier thread. Refer to it if you need to know the details.

I love this girl, not only from a gf perspective but best friend aswell. 4 years, seeing each other nearly everyday, or speaking- supporting and everything it is very tough to not speak to them.

Long story short, with this girl for 4 years, went os for a sporting committment- ended up being terrible. she wanted to stay together which was good. I was away not tempted, and realised she is the one. still talking on the phone most days keeping in contact. she has found new frineds through work and I was glad she wasnt sitting on her arse at home mopping (even though i know she did for the first 2 weeks). just before chrissy she booked flights we were to travel in march for a month then move in together in may.

she relied on me heavily- and suddenly after newyears around 20th jan, she wants to do her own thing, 'were to young' etc. shes never spoken like this which was weird. naturally i flippped a little, thought it was a nightmare and came home (i was alone os, very depressing situation). she says ive done nothing wrong, i dont deserve a guy like you- but i dont feel the same- i love you like a best friend. i cant swallow it because she says she could marry me- and anyway, we ended it with her saying 'i just need time'.

No contact since Tuesday, doing ok. I leave back os on the 5th march, that will be 2 weeks without contact. problem here is she is remembering the moppy, sooky bloke that has been there for the last two months.

I am getting better, and understand that we're young- should i meet with her, i know i will be happy and natural around her by then, should we do something fun? should i just say to her i understand and support her (if you love them youll let them go). im getting to the stage where Im just glad I have had those 4 years- some people never find it in life... shes a gem but, i would make her happy and vice versa.

Or just go away without contact - she is still going over as planned for 5 weeks by herself, she will definatley get more clarity about me by then.

the big thing i ve realised- i have put someone else first for 4 years, thought about how they would react and everything. time for me to kick arse!

looking forward to thoughts on this- greatly appreciated!

ps- no other guy is involved- i assure you. she hasnt been single since school...does she want an identity away from me? or is she wanting something fresh (i think i know what people might say)

ihatewestseneca

Keep NC! She knows where you are, she knows your number, she knows when you'll be back... let her come to you.

ISneezeFunny

keep going nc. you'll be fine in a few. just look for "she needs space" or "she needs time" on the relationship forum...and you'll find a million and a half people just like you.

disclaimer: you assure us that "no other guy is involved"...I wouldn't bank on that too hard. It's not that I don't believe you. It's very possible that she just needs time/space...but I once also said, "there's no way she has a new guy"...mainly because, i was her first everything.

2 weeks later...man was I wrong.

talaniman

I make it unanimous, keep NC, and go on with your life.

confused25

I hate to say it but you gotta go NC. She is slowly seeing you more and more as a friend and for your own sanity you need to take some time for yourself.