LONG READ BUT RELI NEED THE HELP SO ID APPRICAITE THOSE WHO HAVE THE TIME! -

Hey everyone, I joined today because I reli don't know what to do anymore. Ive been with my boyfriend for 3years and he reli and trully is the love of my life. He's my first love, the first guy I had sex with, and I hope the only. He tells me he loves me every single day, after any conversation we have, and has moved mountains for me. We talk about a possible future every now and again which brings us closer 2getha.


After the first 4 months I found out he had smoked behind my back, he lied to my face over and over and when I first found out I was reli hurt, becoz he knew I had a messed up past and he was the first person I trusted in a long time, so it reli hurt but I forgave him. Then he done it again and I left him, he wouldn't let go and cried in front of me, he banged his fist against a wall and broke his knuckles and I took him to hospital. Like an idiot I forgave him because I loved him and I looked after him all night. After that we got better, but I started to get insecure. He still talked to his ex and said he missed her and I had to talk to her and get her out the picture. Yh I was good to him in the beginning and he was an idiot but then it all turned around.


He got better for my sake because he reli loves me, and I started to put him through hell- literally hell. Banned him from talking 2 mates, going out, made him tx me evry little thing he was doing. I started to close him in a box. I was jealous, insecure and over-controlling. He left me in tears 1yr 7months later and told me he couldn't take what I was doing. I was inconsoloble, I even rung his sister whose a married woman and cried to her. I woke up evry mornin with that emptyness in my stomach and that pounding heartbeat feeling you get. I was heartbroken. He still got in touch wiv me evry couple of days, and 2months later we thought about what 2 do and decided 2 give it another go.
Things got better, I was able to let him go clubbin without me being there, I mean it was difficult but I was grateful we had this 2nd chance and I didn't want to screw it up. We went from txtn evry minute to speaking evry few days. He's able to walk past a girl while holding my hand and joke 2 me- damn she was fit, and we laugh about it. Our jealousy is healthy now, little wind ups. We tried making love for 2yrs and finally done it and it was incredible, we are each others firsts and that's what makes it even special. We have such a great healthy relationship. But I still got insecure. I'm needy, I need him around, when he wanted 2 go to the shop down the round I insisted on going with him. I loved being wherever he was but he was getting sick of me. We were always fighting and our friends always heard. Arguments got so bad and it was every other day we wood have a rowing match about the smallest things- but he's hot headed and I hold grudges. We kept threatin 2 leave each other and playing these stupid games, and arguments got so bad I used to throw things and he wood hit the walls.

Our relationship is so on and off. I bent over backwards to be better for him and it nearly worked. He ended it with me a couple of days ago and said he just wants to be on his own and that he's better off that way. He's built up so much hate for me and its obvious by the way he talks to me. I managed to persuade him to put us on trial for a month so I can prove I can be better. He just needs me to be hapi n 24-7 I complain and the changes he wants from me arnt bad- b happy, secure, confident, understanding, give him space, don't complain if he doesn't want to spend the night with me.

I just don't know how to tread carefuli in this month to make sure I don't lose him. If I change, we could be the happiest couple in the world and that's what were both holding on to. I reli don't know what 2 do. I don't even know if I'm doing the right thing by holding on

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/no-chat-speak-no-text-talk-303157.html

Can you edit your post, or translate for us???? some spell check would be nice if you want to be taken seriously.

My eyes hurt!!

I'd say you guys don't have too much of a problem... It seems like you're falling into believing that it's all your fault. It doesn't sound that way to me. It sounds like the problem is mutual. He needs to be able to gain your trust back for one. If he's talking to exes and admitting that he misses them then what the heck are you there for. That's why they're exes and your is girl... or was... but anyway... You have reason to not have 100% trust in him but if you show him that he's gaining your trust back and let him know what he can do in order to make that happen definitely then you guys might actually have a future. But one sure thing that you most definitely don't need us beg him back. And when he comes crawling back to you don't be so vulnerable and just say yes. Give it some serious thought. I'm not telling you to say no but I'm not telling you to say yes. I'm telling you to think for yourself. Tell him you need time and he should take the time for you to figure out if a relationship is what you want and NEED most of all.

Professional counseling, first OK smoking but to the point of bagering him. Next he getting so mad he hit the wall , sorry if this was not so serious it would be funny. You are going to drive him away ( if it is already not to late) trying to change and control him, He must know you had a smoke issue, and was hiding it, for him, he should be ashamed, if he wants to smoke, he smokes and has to be his self. You have to either accept him the way he is, or move on.

What I think you should do first is spell check next like tali said because good gracious... but in any event stop being so darn clingy.. you have to understand that he has his needs and wants and everyone needs their space.. no offense but he doesn't want you stuck up his you know what.. which is what you are... id really be tired of you too... it gets old... if this is someone you are going to spend your life with you need to learn to tolerate a little separation.. get some friends... find something to DO when he goes out so you aren't texting him and calling him 50 million times a day.. if you stay busy while he's not around then you will have less time to think about it and before you know it he will be back.. learn to put the phone down.. stop trying to be up under him all the time and for goodness sake RELAX...

Thank you for all your replies and A BIG APOLOGY for my lack of spelling and text talk. I know its annoying but didn't really think about how I was spelling it whilst trying to jot everything down so I'm really sorry!
Me and my boyfriend have decided to take things 1 day at a time but its got to a stage where I don't know what should be right or not. Like, I'm fine with him talking about which girls he finds attractive, I think its harmless- but he likens me to a friend because I don't react in a jealous way- is this right?
Also he wants to go clubbing with mates for freshers in September, at their uni and doesn't want me coming because he feels he has to look after me-which he doesn't. Should I have an opinion of him going?

Not if you have your own thing to do. Why visit him if he doesn't want you to, and that in itself may be a red flag. You think maybe that your trying to hard to keep someone that isn't as interested in you, as you are in him.

Maybe you haven't paid close enough attention to what his actions, and words are really telling you.

Never make a person a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you an option in theirs.