I use to work for a bank (7 years). My boyfriend hated the fact that I worked there because I was a manager (thinking young tellers would try something), the hours were crazy (the bank was like my 2nd home), and I complained about the job a lot (he would get frustrated AT ME when I was venting about work problems, so I stopped complaining to him). I was unhappy and working at the bank wasn't my dream job. I've always been loyal to him. He's insecure & I see why but I've made every attempt to ease his insecurities (invited him to company functions, introduced him to EVERYONE to the point where they consider him as their friend.) I had pictures of him on my desk (he never put mine up, I asked him). He knows everybody's names & faces because I talk about them so much that I make sure he knows who is who. I've never met any of his co-workers, and when they had functions, girlfriends/boyfriends weren't allowed. So, I recently left the bank, THANK GOD, and am working as an Executive Admin to the CEO. I've got a MGMT degree and honestly, if I could turn back time, I wish I could've started as an admin. I majored in management only because the degree had the word administration in it. So this new job pays better than the bank (I make more than him). I'm done with school, (he never finished). I'm doing something I've always wanted to do and I get to travel! How awesome is that, I'm happy. Three things that bug my man about my career: 1) I work closely with an older man (who happens to be happily married (22 years) and has 4 kids). I see him more as a father figure. 2) He thinks I can do better and thinks I'm going to stay in this position FOREVER. (I've got plans to move up, I'm even going back to school) Besdies, I don't see us getting married anytime soon. I'm all about my career! 3) I 'm expected to travel at least once a month (sometimes with the CEO). I feel he is unsupportive. I've tried to make him feel better but I don't know what I could do. So after constant arguing, he finally says, "I'M INSECURE!" But that's not how he approached it earlier. He tried attacking me by saying, you're just some man's secretary(thinking about affairs with the mistress), you've got a MGMT degree, USE IT! I think he's selfish & unsupportive, he thinks I'm not understanding and hopes that I will feel the same way he does and 10 times worse. Just like he's insecure, I go through the same thing when he works out 3 times a week, and goes dancing in the city every Friday (without me). He had a better chance of losing me at the bank with all the customers did than now. I'm trying to explain that to him but he doesn't understand and says, if this is the type of career you want (travel and what not) then he doesn't have to deal with this. I'm thinking the same, I don't have to put up with this crap. If he wants to have an easy life, finish school to make that money and support ME!

You're thinking straight. You don't have to put up with it. He has problems no amount of explaining or encouraging from you can solve. Unless he decides by himself, for himself to solve them, there's nothing you can do. I'd say cut him loose, be single for awhile, make yourself a whole person and wait for another whole person to relate to.

Easier said than done. This morning he acted as if nothing happened. I'm not mad at him for expressing his feelings. More at how he expressed them and disappointed because it sounds like he's thinking about himself. And now that he's vented and feels better and sorry for even arguing, he's made me think twice about my job... AGAIN!

You know why he made you think twice about your job?

This way you won't be thinking twice about HIM.

Just because HE isn't happy doesn't mean YOU can't be. If he can't be happy FOR you, then what else isn't he there for you for?

You've explained he has no reason to be insecure, and you've gone out of your way to make sure he's had no reason to be.

Either he needs to get over himself, or needs to get lost, if you ask me.

You are obviously more mature and talented and motivated and if he cannot enjoy his spot in life, that's his problem. Insecure and jealous, not a good combination in a man, or anyone for that matter. If he can't stand the heat then let him burn. If he can't at least keep up and at least give you a foot rub, leave this dude behind.