I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We dated a short while before this and it ended because he went away to school and he thought It wouldn't work out. I was heart broken and I tried to move on by dating other people. Nine months later we started talking everyday, he came to visit every weekend. It was like heaven, we finally got to know eachother and fell head over heels. When I came clean about the relationships I had while we were apart he seemed a little bothered, but said he would just have to deal with it because we belong together.
Maybe after a year into our relationship he starts flirting with other girls and got drunk one night and kissed someone else. It took a lot but when he showed me he could get over it and i would never have to put up with any form of cheating I took him back. Things have been amazing once again. I love this man to the core of my being. But I can tell that even now he still has trouble with my past. He blames all of our problems on my past. Im at a loss as to what I should do. Should we take a break??try to work through it together.?I know if we can't get past it..then we won't be able to be toegther. As heart breaking as it would be to lose him I rather do it now while I'm young and can still try to find happiness.

Krs

Why dont you ask him?
and comes to terms with it togther.

Taking a break in this situation i think isnt the answer, but working together, communicating together

valinors_sorrow

The truth here is if HE can't get past it, then you both won't have a future. Let him know that you would be happy to help in any way you can but his not getting over it doesn't mean you'll look the other way about his involvement (however minor) with other women while in a relationship with you. Make that part clear. Its not the same as when you both were broken up and became involved with someone else. If he can pledge a mutually agreed on fidelity to you, then maybe you have a chance. But if not, then recognise that this is not going to work and act accordingly.

PS - This is one of the big reasons I have argued against breaks like the type you two took in lots of other threads here.

tishee_76

Hi shimmer6713

I reckon your question beckons to be answered in every relationship that has failed or been fruitful.. Maybe several times..
And I'm stepping out on a ledge but I believe the answer is already answered, it's just a matter of asking yourself the correct question.
For each person it's a different set of question as we all prioritise in a different order.

It might be:
Is he the right star sign or earn enough money
or
Does he make me laugh and feel good about myself
or
Does he let me be myself and love me for who I am
or
Do we share similar goals and paths through life

What ever the most important thing that YOU need in a relationship is, thats the question to ask yourself to get the answer.
It need not matter to anyone else, because your the only person who lives with your true feelings..
It's healthy to re-assess your feelings and question your decisions, it makes it easier to live happier..
My relationship is 14years young and I always thought trust was my most important factor in a relationship.. As it turned out he too shared a drunk kiss with a Miss..
But when I asked myself.. My question to my heart was, Is he a true friend?
Then all of a sudden nothing mattered, I knew I wanted my best friend next to me for my entire life, pros, cons, mistakes and all!

I hope you can be honest with your own feelings no matter which way you decide to go..
Only you can make yourself content and happy and if he completes you, and makes you a better person, love will find a way, if you let it.
But only if your honest..

I know this isn't an answer, only a single view.
I hope you get something from it..
Good Luck Babe

talaniman

When a couple cannot communicate to work together to solve their problems to the benefit of both there is no relationship. If he cannot overcome his own short comings, then he is unwilling to do what it takes to keep this relationship going and what a waste. Whats done in the past should stay there and its a bright red flag when it cannot be buried.