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    I'm still in love with my ex.

    Asked Feb 25, 2012, 05:47 AM 5 Answers
    Me and my ex boyfriend were together for on and off 7 years. Him and I were high school sweethearts. We were each others first boy/girl friend, He cheated twice as I cheated twice in retaliation. As the years went on we realized we were just getting back at each other for hurting each others feelings.

    I just last year decided that I wanted something else. I wanted a relationship with commitment and maybe an engagement, move in together or something. He had always promised to move in with me but every time I proceeded to look with him when we had the money to do so it'd always end up in an argument and us arguing for an entire weekend or week it seemed like. So I finally just dropped the whole topic.

    I ended up meeting a guy who had promised the world to me so I left my first boyfriend for the new guy without hesitations. We started dating a few months after I broke it off with my ex in order for that perfect moment when I thought I was truly "over" my ex. I found out in a few weeks later that he (the ex) was dating a few girls himself. Both ended up being the two girls he had cheated on me with. Of course I was upset but was very happy in my own relationship that I "tried" to look past it.

    My boyfriend and I finally got to see each other a few days later because he was in the forces. At first it was amazing at the things that he wanted to do while he was home and see so many people and do so many adventurous things. As the days went on I finally realized that he was just "using" me to get my hard earned money, car, gas, food. You name it I bought it! I was in total shock at how much a person can take advantage and manipulate of a genuine good-hearted person as I had never had it happen before not even by a worst enemy or "friend". So when he finally went back I was completely confused at my feelings for the old and new boyfriend. I decided to drop the new guy after I found out that he was really cruel with his choice of words toward me and others & found out he had cheated & was a compulsive liar & well known for his unpaid debts.

    And I wanted to try one more time with my ex. After all, if you can't go one day without thinking about someone to me that is "true love". I felt that I found the type of person that I didn't want and known the type that I did want. Which was exactly what I wanted. But now my ex has been dating this girl who he himself has longed for, for a very long time. She's no good but he doesn't want to listen to me. She's been seen on outings with her and someone (who isn't the ex) & I'm worried it's already too late to do anything.

    He says he wants to work on his relationship with her & I'm afraid I've made the wrong decision. But I was under the assumption that if anything was to go wrong between our new relationships, we'd wait for each other and start all over... So should I move on or still keep trying?. I apologize this is forever long but I wanted you guys to get the full story on it..

    Last edited by talaniman; Feb 27, 2012 at 10:44 AM.
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    5 Answers
    jenny4602's Avatar
    jenny4602 Posts: 4, Reputation: 4
    New Member
     
    #2

    Feb 25, 2012, 06:26 AM
    I think you should let go of your ex if he's in a new relationship. Stay single.Don't get in any relationships for a while. Really take a look at everything around you. Was your ex really the right person for you, or were you just so used to being with him that you miss it. I believe you can love someone but that person may not be the one for you, and that is so hard to go through. What does your ex tell you? Is he in love with this girl? Does your ex know how you feel?
    Helpful (2)
    lostnfound01's Avatar
    lostnfound01 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Feb 25, 2012, 06:45 AM
    He knows everything of how I feel towards him which I promised myself I would be completely honest about everything and anything. Emotions, concerns, etc. I asked him if he did love her & he hesitated when he said yes. I said OK and dropped it. But he did tell me she listened to him when I wouldn't give him the time of day. And then he did tell me that she doesn't make them out to be exclusive and she doesn't tell anyone about him. Which is very sad... I don't understand why he'd want to put himself in a relationship you know that cannot be trustworthy to being faithful, someone that doesn't even claim you as exclusively theirs, or why he couldn't work that hard when he was with me for all those years & why he doesn't want to put in an effort into having an adult relationship with each other.. It doesn't make sense..
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    AuraCV's Avatar
    AuraCV Posts: 6, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Feb 25, 2012, 07:39 AM
    You main boyfriend (the one you really love) is a cheat and a liar. Your rebound boyfriend is a user and liar I'm not counting him because he got used really because your heart wasn't with him in the first place so he was just a meantime man) However, both were not treating you right anyway but lets concentrate on the main boyfriend because you love him. I've been there okay most woman (& men) have been in your place before, however,when you have had enough you will walk away by yourself. Love doesn't make you cry all the time and is certainly not a confused word. Love is something you feel. The girl he is with now, he deserves her, and she lets him down as she will, he will know what he had in you and appreciate you then. Don't save him from getting her by that girl. He wasn't saving you when he was doing his **** to you. Let him go and I say that with all my might. Let him go.. When he realises what he had he'll be sorry then, by then its so to late. If he comes back after you have healed yourself then we got something to listen to... LET HIM GO. If someone what's to leave your life let them go. I had to and it hurts like hell but I'm worth more than how he was treating me and all my friends can not be wrong... Let him go and let him come find you...
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    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,137, Reputation: 2434
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #5

    Feb 25, 2012, 03:24 PM
    If you go back to the old boyfriend do you honestly think things will change?
    I think you need to leave him alone. Be by yourself for sometime. You have gone from one user to another and now you want to go back to the first one.
    Spend some time with you and get to know and understand yourself so you will make better choices with men.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 47,099, Reputation: 10295
    Senior Family & People Expert
     
    #6

    Feb 27, 2012, 10:51 AM


    I think you let this guy go and figure out why you have kept this 7 year disaster going. So far your choice in guys is rather suspect, and you keep going in the same circle. This is not true love, its more like dependence, and to break free of this unhealthy stuff, be single and figure yourself out instead of trying to get back something that hasn't worked at all in 7 years.

    Go forward to better things, not back to unhealthy ones. Just be single for a proper healing before you decide how bad you need someone that obviously doesn't need you.
    Helpful

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