Hi,
I am a man, 27 y old.
I have a master degree, working in some company that opened soon in my region.
First time I applyied, I met that guy who was coming from US, he was looking 28 y old, blue eyes, hairy and proportional body, white bloody face, beautiful hair.
Later, I got interviewed by him, I found out he was the president of the company. During the meeting he was understanding my body language. I thought he was gay!
I was told he's a hight level person, super genius, generous.
Later, I found out he has 43 y old, I got entirely shocked, he doesn't give that age at all.
The worst to know, he is married, and has 5 kids, his family still in US, maybe divorced.
When I look in his eyes, I get drifted, deep inside them.
I can notice how girls are very attracted to him, getting into his fancy car, hanging out with him.
I was reviewing some papers with him at a late time in night, I layed my head on his shoulder. Eversince I found myself in love with him, thinking of him all the times.
I couldn't define that love.
One day, we met in the company at night, I was glad, he was very depressed, he told me he is getting betrayed by his girlfriend. I thought he was gay! he is not.
I don' wanna be gay, but I have these weird feelings to him.
Eversince we meet at night, he speaks out his relational problems. He told me he is very sexually active, and can't spend time without a girl.
I began to dream I'm making love with him, everytime he tells me one of his don-juan stories.
He realises how much I love him.
Lately, he sleeps in his office, on his leather fancy red coach. I sit next to him, he tells me many stories, he was extreamly wealthy, flying always in first class and reserving in 7 stars hotels. He is a very successful business man. He has the most beautiful expressing eyes I ever saw. very pure heart, sometimes he got naiif, but very smart, like a little baby at night and rocky man in the day.
Sometimes he let me sleep in his office next his coach, on the ground. One night, I put my head on his chest while he was sleeping. I love smelling him, smelling his breath, his body warmness. I love his hair in his body. He tells me how girls can't sleep thinking of him, but he only loves one girl, the one who betrayed him, but still in love with him.
Now, I'm very in love with him, he calls me his little brother, I can't get away 2 days without seeing him. I know he's getting back to US very soon, with his new bride. Feeling strangled to know this.
Totally lost.

BMI

He told you to tell us about the paternal thing??? Sounds like he and you are justifying your actions to avoid confronting the fact that the behaviour you both diplay is that of gay men.

I can't help but point out the irony at the fact you say you hate gay people, your attracted to this MAN and you dream about this MAN and you smell this MAN while he is sleeping. Perhaps you should re-visit your stance and attitude towards the gay community, remove your double standard perspective and see reality first though.

Lastly, removing yourself from this situation would be very wise, with all that is going on I suspect you have alot of thinking and analyzing to do about yourself, not to mention learning. Your comments about not wanting to be gay are also of some concern, NOT being yourself is a terrible way to live, I beleive you have no idea who you are, better to spend time learning about yourself and less time pursuing this crazy affair. I think you would benefit from some counselling to perhaps uncover why these feelings have surfaced, and why you are so against them, it would do you good my friend.

Your comment aboutitbeing aproblem within you and not him is not quite accurate. This advice applies to him as much as it does to you. His actions,in some ways, are more bizarre than your own.

chubi

Well, I just copy paste to him some of your replies.
You are all right! he's toying with me, for him I'm just filling the gap of his free time. Totally carefree about what I might feel or react. His response was also silly: 'Here we go again.'
He showed me his MSN, it's full with girls, while he is saying goodbye to his girlfriend on the phone, he is dating another one on MSN. He is not gay, but he is very feministic, hanging around with every girl.
As for me, I got the wrong behavior, which he inspired to me, for the sake of his leisure time.
He's feeling hot all the time, just needing someone near to absorb his sexual heat. Naturally girl, but happened a man around him that he is very impressed and admiring his success and fake personality.
I frankly had no father before, and no one to guide me, I took my Master very hard, and I was raised in the wild.
I donno what experience I'm out to, I'm getting drifted to nowhere.