I have been involved with two men on and off for the past year. The first one was my first love went out for many years lived together etc. until one day I started having doubts about the whole relationship and thought I was too young to make such a huge commitment to someone. I went overseas for a month and when I came back everything was different, I ended up meeting this new guy.

With this guy from the very beginning the attraction was HUGE I have never felt this way about anyone. So I broke up with boyfriend no one and started going out with this one. Everything would have been perfect but our relationship became very volatile quite quickly and we kept breaking up. During off times would be confused and still see boyfriend no 1.. But I kept trying to make it work with boyfriend no2 but it seemed no matter what we did we would still end up fighting and it wouldn't work. I couldn't see why we couldn't make it work though but I guess its because he never really loved me so we ended things for good. But we still keep in touch.

Now I am back with my boyfriend no one and am determined to make it work with him. However I found out last week that he actually cheated on while we were going out (karma I know) but I was still so shocked and cant believe he would do this especially after begging me to get back together.Even though I am trying to make it work with him because I know he is the better choice for me I still keep thinking about the other guy constantly and am completely in love with him!

Why am I doing this to myself? Is it only because boyfriend no2 seems so unavailable that I want him so bad?He says he is not ready for a relationship so I have given up on him although we still talk and I think he has feelings for me somwhat although sometimes I'm not sure anymore. They both know about each other bdw.

So what do I do? Try and make it work with boyfriend no one? Or wait for boyfriend no2 to hopefully come to his senses?

Please help!!